WTF: Write To Fail

By L. Chambers Wright

Helpful, supportive and slightly psychotic, this is perhaps the only writing instructional that requires a disclaimer to protect those involved with its creation.

Do you find writing is tedious? Are your days filled with thankless hours of mind-numbing tedium? "WTF" lampoons writers, readers and reviewers. Now, writers can enjoy comic relief that comes from the writer's heart. This parody will not get you closer to publication, but it will get you closer to incarceration (and likely forcible medication).

Some gems contained in this volume include:

"Creative individuals never adhere to the mediocrity of guidelines!"

"If you are hit with a restraining order, it's wise to move on to the next agency or publisher."

"It's not your responsibility to provide the reader with visual allure. It's their responsibility to choose their titles wisely."

"The more books you sell, the more money you make and the closer you are to buying an army of goons, with which you can go after negative reviewers."

"The most powerful marketing tools for selling books will always be extortion and blackmail."

"Tell them you know where they live and you'll be happy to visit later that evening for a robust discussion on why they should buy your novel."

"It's important to wrestle your reader into submission..."

~Lowered Price for a Limited Time!~

• Language: English
• Publisher: Black House Books
• Release date: Oct 20, 2012

L. Chambers Wright

L. Chambers-Wright also writes as Laura Wright. She grew up surrounded by Appalachian folklore and ghost stories, many of which find their way into her material. She currently lives with her family in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains. She has had many books published, and continues to prolifically write fiction, as well as non-fiction history. She is the primarily caregiver for a number of relatives, several pets, and an unknown number of wild animals. Her interests include photography, music, and casual gaming. Her personal website is Laurawrites.net [http://laurawrites.net]. She runs the Virginia Creeper Appalachian History and Folklore website [http://vacreeper.com], as well as Appalachia Obscura, an obscure history and folklore website [http://appalachiangothic.com].

Book preview

WTF: Write To Fail

15 Easy Steps to Ruin a Perfectly Good Writing Career

By: L. Chambers-Wright

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Copyright 2012, L. Chambers-Wright. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author's rights. Purchase only authorized editions. Published by Black House Books [http://blackhousebooks.com].

Smashwords Edition

Legal Disclaimer: The publisher accepts no liability for the content of this ebook, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided. Any views or opinions presented in this ebook are solely those of the author and do not represent those of the publisher. This book is not intended as a substitute for the legal advice of an attorney, or the medical advice of a licensed psychologist.

This book is purely for humor and is not meant for actual implementation, practice, or reading, for that matter. The ideas, suggestions, and tips in this volume are done so in jest. The author is not liable if anyone follows the material contained herein.

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Table of Contents:

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Introduction:

According to many resources found online, a writer's life is difficult. It's filled with thankless hours in front of a word processing program or buried in research materials. Your hard work and devotion will most likely never be appreciated by anyone.

Many writers set themselves up for failure by utilizing every trick that every other author does. Writing should be a celebration of you, your unique talents, and the way you present those ideas. It should not be a skirmish of orthodoxy where you try to make your story sound like any other author's book.

This book is to provide writers with a better perspective for their careers. Using some well planned albeit aggressive strategies, writers can achieve the recognition they desire. Now, you can writer more quickly than ever and have all the glory of being an author without any of the work.

Yes, you really can have it all. Write your works quickly and