The Moon Sees Me

By L. Chambers Wright

Clarissa Tyler wakes in a remote hospital after two months in a coma. The eccentric staff won't talk to her about what happened. She only recalls dark chaos, but the doctor says her mind can't be trusted. She doesn't believe there was an accident. The physician says they aren't memories, just hallucinations. She knows there is more to that night than what they're telling her. Darrin Parks is a junior doctor at the clinic. He's embroiled in his own web of torment, but finds a bright light of hope with Clarissa. She must adapt to the bizarre life within the clinic, and the prolonged absence from life, to piece together what happened. The quest takes her far beyond reclaiming hidden memories, and deep into a deadly conspiracy. Knowledge doesn't bring resolution, but it may take her life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Black House Books
• Release date: Mar 16, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201710842

L. Chambers Wright

L. Chambers-Wright also writes as Laura Wright. She grew up surrounded by Appalachian folklore and ghost stories, many of which find their way into her material. She currently lives with her family in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains. She has had many books published, and continues to prolifically write fiction, as well as non-fiction history. She is the primarily caregiver for a number of relatives, several pets, and an unknown number of wild animals. Her interests include photography, music, and casual gaming. Her personal website is Laurawrites.net [http://laurawrites.net]. She runs the Virginia Creeper Appalachian History and Folklore website [http://vacreeper.com], as well as Appalachia Obscura, an obscure history and folklore website [http://appalachiangothic.com].

Book preview

Chapter 1

She was cold. She was alone. The world before her was so dark she couldn’t even make out shapes. She heard something in the distance. Strange mechanical sounds. She tied to open her eyes, but bright light nearly blinded her. She didn’t know what powerful illumination made her eyes ache. She didn’t know where she was. For that matter, she didn’t know why she was laying down.

She opened her eyes again, much slower this time. Eventually, she could make out shapes. There were dark silhouettes within that sea of white. She slowly studied her surroundings. She still couldn’t decipher any details.

Her vision eventually improved until it was somewhat normal. All that remained was a thick fog over her eyes. She lifted a heavy arm and rubbed her eyes. After a few moments, her vision clarified. There were fluorescent lights above her, stark, utilitarian. She hadn’t been staring into the powerful light of the sun.

A shadow came into her view. It took a noted interest in her right eye, and moved to the left. The shadow held a stick with a lighted tip. They appeared to be human, but wore white, which just faded into the room around her.

It was an ophthalmoscope. She looked away from the hovering mass and studied the rest of the room. The lingering haze finally subsided. She was in a hospital room.

The towering figure above was a doctor. He smiled. Good to see you’re awake. His deep hazel eyes were strange, as if he felt none of the warmth his voice implied. She wasn’t at ease with him, even though something about him seemed so familiar. She feared him, but couldn’t remember why.

His black hair was neatly trimmed. He had a hint of gray at the temples. His moustache was equally neat. His dark hair and eyes contrasted with his pale skin. He wore a muted peach dress shirt and coordinated gray tie beneath his smock. He raised a cold hand and checked her pulse in her throat. How are you feeling?

She wanted to punch him, but couldn’t remember why. Maybe it was his touch. There was something off about it. Something she knew she’d felt before. She just couldn’t remember where.

Not so hot, she struggled to sit up. Her body felt fifty pounds heavier than she remembered. She hoped she hadn’t gained that much weight while she was out.

Careful... easy now. He shifted the pillows behind her to accommodate sitting up. You’ve been out for a while. You will need a period of adjustment. Have patience with your body, it’s going as fast as it can.

How long is ‘a while’? She wasn’t certain she wanted an answer. She woke up in a hospital, and couldn’t remember how she got there. The chilly air smelled of antiseptic, she tugged the covers closer to ward off a shiver.

First, you weren’t comatose, please don’t be alarmed. You’ve been in and out of consciousness for two months. You were in a car accident and had a severe concussion. We’ve been administering a regimen of therapies.

A wreck? That was ridiculous. She couldn’t remember any incident with a vehicle. She was... She was walking with someone. That was what she remembered. Her head throbbed as she strained to recall. The pictures stubbornly eluded her mind’s reach. Something wasn’t right, something didn’t agree with the story of a car crash. It was deep within the pit of her stomach. He wasn’t telling the truth. Or did he even know the truth?

He sat on the stool by the footboard and waited for her to clear the residual fatigue. Since you obtained such an injury, we need to go over some things. Just to make sure you didn’t suffer damage we couldn’t find earlier.

Okay. She knew there was no accident. She was terrified of car wrecks, even passing them on the road had made her nauseous. She remembered that much, anyway. She couldn’t be involved in one without some kind of recollection. That meant either he lied, or someone lied to him. She was in trouble, regardless of which way that went.

Let’s start with basic questions. What is your name and where do you live?

She stared at him for a moment, unsure of how to answer. That was odd. Memory loss wasn’t normally that prolonged with just a concussion. Despite her misgivings, he seemed serious. She answered, Clarissa Grace Tyler. I live in Evansville, Indiana.

Street and number?

3659 Rosewood Park.

Good, he smiled. Now, how old are you and what do you do?

I’m twenty-three, a full time student at Evansville University. I’m working towards my MBA in business administration.

Great, he grew more enthusiastic. Now, recite the alphabet.

What? It was just a concussion. People sustained concussions all over the country on a daily basis. It wasn’t normally substance for sheer panic, but it seemed to be one here. She ignored the taunting internal dialogue and recited the letters. She felt silly, but his face remained dire.

Her mind returned to the relentless worry. She lost something important in that blackness. She couldn’t ignore the feeling she had forgotten someone, or something, more valuable than anyone or anything else. That massive shadow of the unknown lurked in the back of her mind.

Where exactly is, ‘here’? She knew something was wrong, just not what. The world was wrong. She didn’t want to even hear the name of wherever she was. She didn’t want to be there, or with the doctor, and didn’t know why. The cloud of distrust aggravated her developing migraine.

It made no sense. Why on earth would she distrust the doctor? It wasn’t like he had anything to gain by lying. He was a professional. It was just as likely her imagination had become overactive. She did wake in a strange place to a strange doctor. Regardless of how severe her head injury had been, she just woke up after an extended sleep. Sedation probably carried some residual side effects, too.

You’re at the Bittersend Medical Clinic, in Bittersend, Tennessee. If you go fifty miles south, on Highway 33, you will be in Knoxville, Tennessee. Highway 33 is a few miles away.

All right. She dismissed the urgency. She was nuts. That was it. There was no logical reason for desperation. She was fine. Why am I here, and not closer to home?

Your mother visited several times. We considered arranging transportation and accommodations for you to return to Indiana, but she wanted you where you would receive the best attention. Naturally, that would be here.

That’s mom, she agreed. Wait— It felt like a bolt of lightning shot across her brain. Where’s Nick?

Clarissa, I want you to relax. Promise me you will relax. He was apologetic. No, there was no reason for sympathy. She hated that tone. He didn’t need to talk like that. She would’ve slapped him if she could’ve lifted her arm. Why was he being so damned infuriating? She just wanted to know where her fiancé was. Evidently, he wasn’t at the clinic, or he would be there with her. Her stomach knotted—Wait.

She didn’t want to know. She didn’t need to hear. She started to ask him to stop, but then he spoke before she could. Mr. Foster was dead when we found your car.

What? A wave of sorrow flowed over her. There was no going back now. She couldn’t tell him not to say it. The agony wasn’t acute or immediate, but it was maliciously sharp. He was dead, and she had slept for two months. She lost two months of her life.

She pressed her mind as hard as she could to remember last seeing him. It was so damned foggy, and it shouldn’t be. She should remember everything. She knew, if he truly died in front of her, she would remember it for the rest of her life. She could only see him yelling, but his voice was silent. She didn’t know what he was trying to say.

It was vivid. She saw him. He motioned with his arm. He wanted her to do something. He wanted her to... to run. That was it. He was telling her to run. There was no damned car anywhere around them. They were out in a field.

Maybe it was after the wreck. Maybe she recalled what happened after the accident. Maybe she really couldn’t trust her mind, or her memories. The doctor had no reason to lie. The thoughts in her mind were paranoid and hysterical. She recalled their frantic travel through the dark, in the countryside. Something was wrong. She even recalled the delicate crescent moon above. The land was dimly illuminated.

Nick had limped alongside her. He couldn’t keep up. He was so upset. She couldn’t help him. She tried to run back to him and he angrily glared at her. If only she knew what he was saying, it would all make sense.  

Doctor? Are they certain it was a car wreck?

Please, call me Jeff. Yes, the authorities found the car shortly after I found you. You wandered about a half mile away from the wreckage. Why?

I don’t think I remember a car accident. I.... She suddenly didn’t want to confess. Something instinctive made her hesitate. She reasoned, I don’t know what I remember, but it doesn’t seem to be that.

It’s probably a hallucination. Don’t let it bother you. He returned to his notes and dismissed her worry as though it were nonsense. Maybe she was being ridiculous. Maybe it really was just a hallucination. It didn’t feel like something imaginary, but she wasn’t in a position to fully trust her memories.

You said I’d been asleep, but not in a coma... Why?

We had to sedate you, Clarissa. You had violent nightmares. You often woke up screaming and fighting anyone near you. You couldn’t have went home in that state. You might’ve injured yourself, or your family. It started the night you arrived, just after you were brought in. I wanted to observe you and see if I could locate the source of that unreasonable terror. I brought in a neurologist from Knoxville for observation, as well.

He shifted in his chair and looked back at the file. I ordered sedation while we gave you a number of therapies. It was subconscious therapy, if you will. It’s a simple variation of the widely-used cognitive reprogramming. While you were semi-conscious, I could smooth over the distressing images and make them less disturbing. It’s a new form of desensitization. You have done remarkably well, and it’s time you went back to your life.

Exactly where was I was found?

Just outside of town, he gestured left with his free hand and returned it to the file. I frequently travel on the weekends. When I was returned home, you were wandering on the outskirts of town. I brought you here to be examined. We watched you for adverse reactions to your injuries and the medication we used: seizures, vomiting, any abnormal symptoms at all.

He handed her a Styrofoam cup and let her drink some water. Physically, you did great... until the nightmares started. We initially planned to release you after the standard night of observation. That was the only negative issue that arose from your injuries. Your vehicle was found the next morning.

So... you fixed it? Have the nightmares left?

Yes, and I believe the nightmares are over. You haven’t suffered any in two weeks. I think it is time for you to return to life. He smiled widely, A young lady of your physique must have a demanding social calendar.

She paused when he said it. The comment sounded inappropriate, but he didn’t look at her when he spoke. His gaze remained steadfast on his notes. Maybe he hadn’t said anything at all. What if she hallucinated that?

She couldn’t decipher his implication or his tone, so she didn’t respond. He finally looked back up and smiled, It isn’t often we have such a lovely patient.

She felt uncomfortable beneath the weight of his stare. She changed the subject and hoped her apprehension remained unnoticed. They made small talk a moment before he left. She was in no position to storm out or confront. There was no way she could walk a long distance, if she could walk at all. She could feel her body’s weakness already, even after such a brief conversation. She looked out the window at the vast forest. She got lost in the growth. The trees and vegetation appeared to go on forever. It looked so empty.

There was no accident. She had never received a speeding ticket, let alone been involved in a wreck. Driving... That came back. She had driven that night. Recollection invoked a great and unknown fear. Why would she fear that night? Maybe the doctor was truthful, and things did happen as he said. She couldn’t be sure. Maybe all the nightmares and outbursts he mentioned really did stem from the wreck. She reminded herself he really had no reason to lie.

She remembered Nick in the passenger’s seat and a curvy, rural road that wound through dense trees and undergrowth. The drive had taken so long that they navigated the countryside in shifts.

The two lane road was well maintained for such a remote location, with a full gravel shoulder on either side for pulling off. Jeff implied it was a little road, but it hadn’t been.

Her headache worsened when the nurse walked in. The younger woman couldn’t have been over twenty-five. Her long straight hair was pulled back into a ponytail that swayed with her walk. She had the strangest eyes that looked so much like the doctor’s. Hope you’re hungry, she cheerily announced as she placed a covered tray on the stand.

I am. She was ravenous. The nurse moved the trolley over and arranged it by the bed. Clarissa lifted the lid and paused, disappointed by the meager fare. She expected lunch, but it looked more like a snack. A dollop of white mashed potatoes sat beside two steamed broccoli florets. Two equally tiny strips of broiled chicken and a dipping container of honey was the main part of the lunch. A tiny tub of fat-free margarine sat on the side of the plate. A single-serving cup of chocolate pudding was her desert. The nurse sat a small Styrofoam cup of iced tea beside the tray.

This is it? She realized for the first time since waking that she was starving. She had two months of appetite to contend with and, with the empty state of her stomach, what lay before her was barely an appetizer.

You eat that and tell me if you want more. She chuckled, I’m Amy. I’ve been your attending nurse for the past two months. I am glad to see you are recovering.

Me, too. Clarissa talked between bites. Amy? Can I ask you a question?

Sure, Amy placed the plastic thermometer in her ear.

Do you know anything about the accident?

Amy paused until the device beeped. Jeff has given me strict orders to avoid discussing the accident. He’s afraid your nightmares will return. I will tell you this, the vehicle was not scorched or crushed. It was a bad accident, but your fiancé did not suffer.

Not at all?

No. Jeff told me death was instantaneous. I’m so sorry you have to hear about it after what you’ve suffered. I know it doesn’t offer much consolation, but I’m sure he felt no pain. Now, you must get better. I’m elated you’ve made such progress. Jeff has extraordinary skills to eliminate those awful memories. He’s a gifted doctor.

Eliminate? Clarissa whispered aloud. She was going mad. Everything she believed to be real could be nothing, but a dream. It might not have existed at all. Or it could be exactly as they told her.

Just the idea that he toyed with her memory seemed obscene and unnatural. Dr. Killian hadn’t satisfactorily explained himself, if that was truly his therapy, and she still wasn’t certain of anything. She’d been exhausted from waking when he was there. He left before she could get any information of note. She just had to throw around her questions and hope something would bind all those loose ends. He just ‘removed’ them?

He had to, Amy spoke softly. Honestly, I was here when you had the nightmares. It was as though you were dying, you shrieked and screamed, even threw punches at several staff members. He feared it would cause long-term damage if he didn’t intervene. It isn‘t ‘removed’ so much as just blocked. He simply made it very difficult for those traumas to reassert themselves into your life.

Amy smiled and patted her shoulder, Don’t worry, it’s nothing major. It’s covering traumatic imagery with positive imagery. With a regimen of medication and hypnotherapy, it can help you avoid many complications associated with a major shock in life. It’s called, ‘cognitive reprogramming,’ but it simply means he covered the bad with good.

She couldn’t accept it. She might pretend, but she wouldn’t accept it. They had no right to steal those precious final moments. She was a big girl. Nothing before had made her crumble, she wouldn’t break with those. She could deal with any consequences or repercussions. She didn’t need to be coddled or nursed through memories.

She couldn’t picture herself physically lashing out at anyone, but maybe she was hallucinating, at that point. She really couldn’t recall any of her behavior at the clinic. It didn’t seem likely that the entire hospital would lie about it, they had no motive. What did my mother say about his therapy?

Of course, we talked it over with her before we began therapy. She thought it was best. Amy stood tall with apparent pride. We are professionals. Trust us. Your nightmares have vanished and you are alert and well. Your vitals are excellent. We were so impressed by your mind’s response to the process.

But, I think I remember something different.... Maybe the nurse would slip up and an inconsistency would reveal itself. She had to hope. It couldn’t all be lost.

She started to sound paranoid. She had to stop that train of thought. She very well may be still hallucinating. She couldn’t deny that she hadn’t felt herself since waking. She hadn’t felt normal in any regard. She was so tired.

Amy looked squarely at her, It’s a hallucination. Dr. Killian said those might happen.

Either she was crazy, or they were. They had the laws of the universe on their side, at that moment. The mental contradiction made her feel like standing on the bed and screaming; but, she was so exhausted. She wanted to make noise and be heard instead of humored. She wouldn’t get answers with the nurse, either.

She would have to try someone else, or just deal with what she could recall. Regardless of what they said, she knew there was no wreck. She wasn’t crazy. She couldn’t be. Nick didn’t die from a hallucination. And, from what she remembered, he wasn’t in a car.

Do you have television? Her room looked just like any other hospital room, except for a television or telephone.

No, I’m afraid not. Amy chuckled. We do still lack on the superficial amenities. She sat on the same stool Killian had occupied earlier.

Why did I end up in a clinic and not a hospital? Maybe further information would help. She didn’t suspect the family doctor of anything dubious when she had a sinus infection. Yet, her mind suspected this doctor. Maybe suspicions were just part of her hallucinations? Maybe she didn’t even recall events that actually happened.

You were extremely agitated when Jeff brought you here. He sedated you and gave you pain meds. Afterward, you started having the terrors. We were positive you’d need major hospital care at that point; however, after x-rays and routine exams, we found you didn’t suffer any physical trauma. Jeff even brought in a specialist who performed an EEG, but everything looked healthy. It was all psychological. Your mother wanted you here because we are fully staffed and aren’t a large hospital. We can offer closer attention.

It was the same story she heard earlier. The idea that everyone rehearsed their stories was irrational. She must have some kind of damage that refused to accept the obvious. They said they replaced the negative images with positive ones, but what she remembered wasn’t positive. Did it really matter now? It shouldn’t. She was fine now.

Where is my cell phone?

Your mother took it with her. We weren’t sure how long you’d be here, and you weren’t using it while you were out. We were afraid it would get lost.

Something, somewhere, would not release the nagging doubt. She didn’t have any legitimate reason to suspect them, or doubt their version of the events. She certainly couldn’t recall that night herself.

They didn’t know her or Nick. They couldn’t profit from such a risky deception. It would be easier to accept what they said, and try to put life back together, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t dismiss her suspicion. It felt so wrong. How could she forget her fiancé when she didn’t even know what happened to him?

She finished her food and Amy carried the tray back out into the hall. She looked back out to the woods through the window across from the bed. He was lost. Somewhere, out there, she lost him and lost those final moments with him. Nick had been so affectionate and loving, even at the end, he had protected her. She couldn’t remember much of that evening, but she knew he sheltered her from something.

Her mind returned to the images that came while she talked to Jeff. Nick yelled and wildly motioned for her to move on ahead, but where was she going?

Amy returned with a few stacks of magazines. Some were current and some were old, but she wasn’t interested in reading. She flipped through them to pass the time. Her thoughts revolved around Nick. She couldn’t remember their last evening because of the doctor’s therapy. Regardless of how helpful it was supposed to be, it felt like the ultimate betrayal. The most important period in her life was now the most elusive.

She vividly recalled the day prior to its end. They were going to meet their friends in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Everyone wanted to fly down, except Nick. He was afraid of flying. She’d laughed at his refusal to board an airplane. Why had she laughed? Guilt draped her heart. She laughed at him. God, how could she have done that? He laughed along with her at the time, but it didn’t help. He never laughed at her.

They left two days early to reserve accommodations for everyone. They had all arranged their vacation at the same time. The plans started as just a romantic get-away for the two of them. Soon after they realized their friends would also graduate, and most would be out of the state by autumn. They changed their minds and asked everyone to go with them. 

She remembered those final days so clearly. They started on a Wednesday. They planned to arrive with plenty of time to reserve the rooms and enjoy some time alone.

The drive was slow and lazy. They concentrated more on one another than the coming weekend. She remembered their wedding plans and her eyes welled. He was dead and she had to accept it.

But, something happened and it wasn’t a car wreck. 

She plucked a Kleenex from the box on the stand. Those final days were beautiful. If only she had known it was going to be their last trip. She didn’t get to tell him good-bye. She wanted to run to him. She closed her eyes and lay back on the pillow. If only she could ask him what to do. If only she could talk with him just a moment.

Chapter 2

She was surprised to wake the second time in a dark world. Her body must’ve been more tired than she noticed. Her focus on Nick was so intense that she drifted off. She sat up with less resistance from her body.

Someone had removed the I. V. in her left hand while she slept. She was now free of the tube and the fatigue that plagued her earlier. She felt intensely bright-eyed and awake. She rubbed her newly freed hands together, her skin was dry. The area where the needle had been was sore, but residual tenderness was better than having the constrictive tube hanging from her arm. She probably needed to walk since she felt so alert. Her body would be weak and inflexible after two months in bed.

She scooted her legs off the side of the bed and prepared for her body’s inevitable hesitance. She ignored her leg muscles’ protest as she gently put her weight on them. Her body felt heavy and uncoordinated. She needed a moment to gain the balance to shift weight from one foot to the next. She slowly became accustomed to stepping. She walked from one side of her room to the other to test her strength. Her legs would probably be unbelievably sore, but she couldn’t stand laying in that bed any longer.

She opened the door to her