High Crimes and Mr. Wieners

By Paul Hawkins

When a local kid's TV show personality and his seven trained dachshunds get kicked to the curb in favor of generic PBS programming, the discovery of a hotdog-man suit in a fast food dumpster leads to a new career as a costumed crime fighter (hey, dogs have to eat). And will the lady in his life discover his secret? Okay, let's admit it - there is no lady in his life - just lots of mooched wifi.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Paul Hawkins
• Release date: Jul 7, 2012
• ISBN: 9781476189673

Paul Hawkins

American author. I am happy to be a child of the space age and I still set my sights on great things. I put humor in everything I write because that is my disposition. If I chronicle the 20th century it is only because I have not given up on the 21st.

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High Crimes and Mr. Wieners

copyright 2012, Paul Hawkins

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High Crimes and Mr. Wieners: When a local kid's TV show personality and his seven trained dachshunds get kicked to the curb in favor of generic PBS programming, the discovery of a hotdog-man suit in a fast food dumpster leads to a new career as a costumed crime fighter (hey, dogs have to eat). And will the lady in his life discover his secret? Okay, let's admit it - there is no lady in his life – at least not now - just lots of mooched wifi.

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His real name was not Mr. Wieners, of course, and before his Public Television show got axed, his stage name had not been not Mr. Wieners. That title came later – when he began fighting crime. The press gave it to him. But beforehand his given name had been plain old Alan Wainwright, and his stage name had been Doctor Doggshund (get it? Dachshund?). He did a show with a live kiddie audience bused in from local gradeschools that focused on proper pet care and featured the odd exotic animal or nature clip or rescue shelter adoption spot. But his show got axed when the local PBS affiliate got a grant to feature some nationally-produced show that used cartoon Bananimals (part banana, part animal - get it?) to teach diversity and math.

Not diverse? One of the dogs is a Jew, one’s Hispanic, one’s crippled, and two are transgendered. I admit the rest of them are White.

None of the local station’s execs were amused, so he continued.