Trying My Hardest

By Conrad Prophet

After twelve years of unforeseen circumstances that kept Rene Anthony Davis and Bridgette Marie Tate apart, they finally became one. But giving up his old lifestyle, his presidency of
I.C.C. and allegiance to Johnny Miller, and foregoing his alter ego, in exchange for God, love and family, is more difficult than he could have ever imagined.

Will Rene Anthony Davis live up to the vow he made to his high school sweetheart to try his hardest to leave his violent lifestyle behind? Or will the trials and tribulations of family life and the events that impact those close to him, force his alter ego to resurface permanently? Returning to his sinister, dark side, where the death of his enemies awaits, may be the only
thing that brings him peace.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Conrad Prophet
• Release date: May 19, 2012
• ISBN: 9781476019864

Conrad Prophet

Through personal experiences growing up in an urban environment, as well as experiences gained through his educational and employment opportunities, Conrad Prophet has an insatiable passion to write and share knowledge. Since the release of his first novel, Last Year Before Reality (2001/2007), Conrad has released No Time for Love (2006) and Behind the Broken Cross (2008). Each book continues the story that began in Last Year Before Reality of the turmoil and joys experienced in the lives of Rene Anthony Davis and his high school friends. In 2012, Conrad released his third novel, Trying My Hardest, which dives deeper into Rene Anthony Davis’s psyche.He has also written the non-fiction book Knowing the Rules of the Game (2004), an “instruction manual” in which he shares lessons on surviving in various employment arenas, higher education, as well as the U.S. Armed Services. Conrad's latest release is Unwise Counsel, follows three psychiatrists who battle their own personal complications while helping their clients overcome challenges on and off the job.Conrad’s books have received rave reviews which include a five-star rating from Rawsistaz.com for No Time for Love, as well as a Reader’s Choice listing for Behind the Broken Cross in the April 2009 issue of Essence Magazine from the Sistas Turning Pages Book Club in Lansing, Michigan.Conrad is a graduate of Saginaw Valley State University and veteran of the United States Army. He is a native of Royal Oak Township, Michigan, and currently lives in Detroit, Michigan.

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Trying My Hardest

Trying My Hardest

By Conrad Prophet

Published by The Prophet Group at Smashwords

Copyright © 2012 by Conrad Prophet

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Prelude

Saturday, May 25, 1996

Bridgette continued walking down the aisle slowly, as Crystal released red and white rose petals that floated down to the carpet in a feather like fashion, creating a plush, velvety runway before her. When she was halfway down the aisle, Monica, Bridgette’s maid of honor, and Richard who was Rene’s best man, joined each other near the piano to sing a duet rendition of Luther Vandross’ Here and Now. Rene looked around at the bridesmaids—Amber, Sabrina, Roxanne, Keisha, Jacqueline and Cinnamon. They were all dressed elegantly in cream colored satin gowns, with pearl-lined princess seamed bodices, and laced trimmed ribbons for shoulder straps.

Rene then turned and looked at his groomsmen—Cold Tony, Clarence, Santana, Dr. Irving, Solomon and Little Greg, who were all dressed in their tailor-made tuxes.

Monica and Richard finished their duet and returned to their positions. Bridgette and Judge Tate stopped five feet from the altar. Rene walked down the two steps and took Judge Tate’s position next to Bridgette.

You know I’m getting you for keeping your recovery a secret, Rene said, out of the corner of his mouth.

Bridgette smiled under her veil. Oh, and I’m real scared, Mr. Davis.

They walked up the two steps and stopped under the arch where Greg was standing with his Bible open.

My dear brothers and sisters, we are gathered here today to witness a truly auspicious occasion. It definitely had to be ordained by God from the beginning of time, for Rene and Bridgette to be together. As some of you may know, we all grew up together in the same neighborhood, and graduated from the same high school, so we have a very special bond. These are two people whom I love dearly, and I am so honored to be a part of their destiny, the commencement of their lives together as husband and wife.

Minister, we have written our own vows, Rene said. You can go first, Bridgette.

No, no, you go first, Rene.

Don’t do it, Rene. What did they say? Don’t trust a girl with a big butt and a smile, Rad pleaded.

I have waited eleven years to marry her, and I’m not going to let your psychopathic ass continue to ruin my life.

You can’t marry her. A woman has been the cause of the fall of every great man. Eve caused Adam to sin in the garden. Delilah caused Samson to fall. Now Bridgette is going to be the death of you, Rad warned.

Negro, please. You and Satan have caused me to fall. Now, Bridgette and Jesus are causing me to rise up.

Rene, you’re already henpecked, and your dumb ass hasn’t even said, ‘I do’ yet.

Whatever.

Rene turned his head and covered his mouth to clear his throat.

Bridgette, ever since I first laid eyes on you, I was destined to make you my first, last and only love. Never before has anyone had the impact on my life that you’ve had. I always told myself that no woman should have this much control over a man’s heart, but I couldn’t stop it. Before you came into my life, I claimed that I didn’t have a heart. You resuscitated my heart by touching it with your spirit and removed the black veil that prevented me from feeling the light of your love.

Rene looked at Bridgette’s beautiful face through her veil, and saw tears falling.

Before we met, God already had destined for us to be together. God knew that He couldn’t send an angel to comfort me, so He sent the next best thing---you.

Rene heard crying behind him, and turned around.

Sugar, stop, Rene said, through clenched teeth. He turned back to Bridgette.

"For the last eleven years, I’ve been lost out in the world, when I should have been with you. Although I was always on the wrong road in life, my eyes were always on you. But, enough about the past.

"I know this might sound ridiculous, but I have dreamed of this moment a thousand times. It’s terrifying to feel the way I feel about you. Once I saw you in your hospital bed, I was determined to man up and not let fear keep me from loving the only woman, next to my mother, who I have ever truly loved.

Bridgette, with God and these hundreds of people as my witness, I vow to love you like no man has ever loved a woman. I vow to bring no drama or pain into your life. I vow to always be faithful, and put no one before you. I promise to love you like Christ loved the church, and there is no greater love than that. Thank you, Bridgette, for saying that you will be one with me after all the things that I’ve put you through.

Rene looked up to heaven. Thank you, God for bringing my only love home to me.

One by one the groomsmen began to clap, followed by the bridesmaids, then all of the guests. Bridgette was obviously very moved by Rene’s declaration of his love for her.

Your turn, Bridgette, Greg said after waiting briefly for her to speak.

She paused momentarily to regain her composure, then turned to face Rene.

Rene, my love, my strong black king—God confirmed in my spirit the first time we looked into each other’s eyes, that He created you just for me. I never doubted in my heart that we would someday be together, forever. I love you with each breath I take, and with each beat of my heart. I vow to be a good wife and helpmate to you. Rene, I promise you that, from this day forward, you will be my primary ministry. I will work to make our home a haven of peace, rest and relaxation for you, and I will stand by your side to assist you in achieving the dreams and goals that we’ve discussed so many times in the past. I will pray continually that God will strengthen our love daily, and that He will bless us to be a blessing to others. And I’ve also asked Him to allow me to give you at least one baby!

Bridgette’s last statement prompted chuckles from the guests, and actually made Rene blush.

I love you with all of my heart, Rene, Bridgette said. She held Rene’s arm tighter.

Greg turned to Rene. The ring.

Rene turned to Richard. Sugar. The ring, knucklehead.

Here it is, Richard said, holding it up and turning to the audience. Raphael, I’m going to get you one just like this.

Raphael didn’t say a word. He just blushed.

Give me that ring, Rene said, playfully snatching it from him.

Rene, place the ring on Bridgette’s finger.

"Do you, Rene Anthony Davis take Bridgette Marie Tate to be your lawfully wedded wife?

I do.

The ring.

Monica handed the ring to Bridgette and she slipped it onto Rene’s finger.

Bridgette Marie Tate, do you take Rene Anthony Davis to be your lawfully wedded husband?

I do.

By the power vested in me by the state of Illinois, and the anointing bestowed upon me by God, our Father, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Rene, you may kiss your bride.

Rene took Bridgette in his arms with a very passionate kiss. Only Greg’s clearing his throat caused them to stop.

Rad, I’ve been trying to get rid of you ever since the first miserable day you came into my life. Now that I have Jesus and Bridgette with me, you and Satan can bite me and bounce. When Bridgette and I walk outside into the beautiful future that God has planned for us, I won’t look back. I’m finally going to toss you, Satan and my horrible past into the sea of forgetfulness, Rene thought.

Forget you, punk ass sissy. I already had my bags packed. I just showed up today to see if you were really going to be a sucker and go through with this. Your dumb ass did it, Rad said.

Bye, and thanks for nothing, was Rene’s last statement to Rad before he and Bridgette turned to face their guests.

Everyone, I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Rene Anthony Davis.

All of the guests stood and cheered. Slowly Rene and Bridgette walked down the aisle arm in arm.

Bridgette leaned over and whispered into Rene’s ear, I’ve been waiting my entire life for this moment. I hope you’ve been taking your vitamins, babe, ‘cause when I get you to the hotel room, I’m going to show you how much I REALLY love you.

Rene smiled and leaned over and whispered in her ear. Oh yeah? Trust me, babe, I’ve got something for you that you never could have imagined. Not only am I going to hit your G-spot, but I’m going to hit your A to Z spots.

For real, big daddy? Bridgette asked.

For real, girl. I’m going to run up in it like a fireman running into a burning building. Believe that.

Oooh, Rene, you’d better stop it or I won’t be able to wait until we get to the hotel.

Mrs. Davis, I’m going to have you speaking in tongues backward.

Bridgette laughed and slapped Rene on the butt. Mr. Davis, this is mine now, and you can believe that I’m going to love you up and down, every chance I get.

Girl, you ain’t said nothing but a word. Why do you think they make limos with tinted windows?

I’m proud of you. We finally have a wife. I’m first, I don’t believe in sloppy seconds. Or we could do the ménage á trois thing, Rad said.

I thought you were gone? You better get your own wife! I don’t share nothing, Rene said.

When you go to sleep, I’m hittin’ it. You are going to hear her scream Rad!

Whatever, Negro. Rene finally slammed the door shut in his mind, giving his full attention to his new wife.

Rene and Bridgette continued out of the sanctuary. When the doors of the church opened for them, bright lights blinded them.

Chapter 1

Saturday, May 25, 1996

Rene subconsciously reached behind him. He was startled by the bright lights of the cameras flashing. Bridgette saw what he was doing and gently grabbed his arm and whispered into his ear.

No, babe. It’s just the photographers. Dad invited all the local newspapers and magazines here to take pictures. It slipped my mind. All I was thinking about was being Mrs. Davis. I forgot to tell you. I apologize.

For a moment, I thought I was going to have to cap the paparazzi, he said, letting his Glock slip back into its hiding place.

Rene you promised you would try your hardest to do right and be a God-fearing man.

Anything for my heart, he said.

He kissed her and they continued down the steps while flashes went off all around them. They walked straight to the limousine, arm in arm waving and smiling. The chauffeur opened the back door and they hopped into the backseat, not pausing for pictures. The rest of the wedding party got into the other two limousines and followed Rene and Bridgette to the hotel for the reception.

Nibbling on Rene’s earlobe, Bridgette breathed into his ear, Come on, Rene, let’s do it now. It’ll be exciting.

Girl, I was just playing about making love in the limousine. I want your first time to be sacred. Not in the backseat of a car. We’re not in high school, babe. I might’ve been a thug, but I was a thug with class.

I understand, Rene, she said, leaning her head on his shoulder with a pout. We are not staying at this reception all night. I’ve waited my whole life to experience what making love feels like and I’m not spending all night entertaining guests while I could be making love to my husband.

Okay, babe, we are going to work the reception like a B & E.

Huh? Bridgette asked, confused.

I meant we’re going to be in and out.

When we have children, you can’t be using all that slang and street vocabulary around them. I don’t want our children to be ghetto fabulous.

Yes, babe, Rene said, as the limo pulled up in front of one of Chicago’s finest hotels on the Magnificent Mile. The chauffeur opened the door and they got out.

Monica and Amber were waiting for Bridgette when she got out to assist her with the train.

I don’t know why you didn’t just let Amber be your Matron of Honor. You know I’m not down with this prissy, boo-gee, sh—.

Monica! Amber and Bridgette said, simultaneously.

I was gon’ say stuff.

Yeah, right, Bridgette laughed.

You promised that...

Monica quickly cut Amber off. I know, I know. No profanity on the wedding day of Black Hollywood’s own Virgin Mary.

Amber stopped setting her own dress in place and pinched Monica’s arm.

Monica jerked. You betta watch it, high yella heifer!

Bridgette interrupted them both. Behave ladies. This is my day.

Monica rolled her eyes.

As the women finished primping and the Bridal Party gathered in the hotel’s luxurious foyer before their grand entrance into the hotel ballroom, Rene slipped away momentarily and pulled Santana to his side.

Did you carry out my orders? he whispered.

Santana responded, Yeah, it’s about to go down.

Cool. Don’t let me down. If you do, it will be a wedding and a funeral today, Rene threatened.

Santana said a quick silent prayer.

Rene returned to his place next to Bridgette.

A live saxophonist played softly as Judge and Mrs. Tate entered the grand ballroom. Following were the individual bridal party couples. Each was greeted with a round of applause as they entered. Just before Rene and Bridgette were to enter the ballroom the doors closed from the inside. Bridgette stood bewildered, looking like Cinderella at the stroke of midnight.

Rene what is going on? I…

Bridgette quickly found herself silenced as Rene firmly pulled her into a kiss.

Do you believe? he whispered into her ear. Let me have you to myself for just one minute. Bridgette yielded. After a few minutes, the large doors opened. Cold Tony and Clarence took a position like the CIA on each side of the door. The ballroom was pitch black with the exception of a single spotlight on Santana standing in front of the Sweetheart bridal table holding a cigar.

Let me introduce you to my little friend, Santana said, in his best Tony Montana voice.

I ask that you hold all applause, or else I will introduce ya to my little friend. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Rene Anthony Davis.

Bridgette was hesitant to move. A single dim chandelier was lit over head. Rene guided Bridgette towards it. They stopped on the dance floor just beneath the lights. Out of the darkness came a single a cappella voice.

Promises you made me…

All the things you told me

You said you’d never leave me. . . .

Then a harmony of voices… Now it’s all in the past. . . .

The remaining lights over the dance floor came up. Bridgette found herself standing with Rene in the center of the ballroom.

Dance with me, he whispered as he took Bridgette lovingly into his arms. In each corner of the dance floor was a man in all white with a cordless mike. It took her a minute before she realized she was being serenaded by Jodeci!

Do you believe, Bridgette? Rene asked

They continued to sing. Do you believe in love and the promise that it brings. . . . . . .

How did you…? Bridgette asked.

Negro, you better not let our wife think that your cheap ass hired Jodeci to sing for her. That is ‘Joe I See.’ That is not no damn Jodeci, Rad thought and laughed.

Don’t ask questions, just enjoy the moment, Rene said, ignoring Rad.

They were dancing cheek to cheek, while Bridgette sang the song into Rene’s ear.

Hold it. Damn it. Wait a minute. My cheek is wet and it better not be your punk ass crying Rene, Rad thought.

Bridgette pulled back and saw the tears streaming down Rene’s face and burst into tears herself, while she kissed him passionately.

Yo’ ass is trying to embarrass us! You forgot one of the ten commandments of I.C.C. Never let your enemy see you cry! Rad thought.

That isn’t one of our rules. You made that shit up. Anyway, Bridgette is my wife, not my enemy, Rene responded.

I wasn’t talking about her. Everyone staring at you while tears are running down your face is your enemy. Negro, you are on the top of your game. Anytime you are on top, trust me, there is going to be someone who wants to bring you down. Don’t let anyone see you love someone with all your heart. If you do, they will know that is your weakness and one day will use it to hurt you.

I knew I should have taken my medicine this morning. You are giving me a migraine with all the noise you’re making. As soon as I get to the room, I am going to take enough pills to keep you out of my head for a week, Rene said.

Aw, punk, shut up and stop crying like a bitch.

After the first song, the wedding guests took over the dance floor. Jimmy followed with three Luther Vandross hits, Forever, For Always, For Love, If Only For One Night, and Wait For Love. Rene placed a fifty-dollar bill on the mixing board and Jimmy put on Rene’s anthem by Method Man and Mary J. Blige, "I’ll Be There/You’re All I Need To Get By. Bridgette stood in shock as Rene sang all of Method Man’s lyrics and Monica joined in singing all of Mary J. Blige’s lyrics. Rene was all into the song, singing, dancing and making facial expressions. When the lyrics pronounced that she was not supposed to give a certain part of her body away, Bridgette mouthed never". Jimmy followed up with a couple of up tempo songs.

The dancing stopped momentarily for the traditional throwing of the garter and flowers.

Jimmy played the hustle anthem song, Stevie Wonder’s, My Eyes Don’t Cry No More. Guests young and old came to the dance floor, while Rene and Bridgette led them. As each song played, Bridgette eased her way to the back of the hustle line. She then snuck off of the dance floor.

Quickly she located Amber who was mid-sentence in her conversation with Greg.

Old friend, I need to borrow your wife, Bridgette said.

Not waiting for an answer Amber excused herself from Greg and left with Bridgette.

Go get Monica off the dance floor.

Amber moved as diligently as she could through the crowd until she found Monica, who was backing it up against Dr. Irving while doing the hustle.

Wait a minute, wait a minute! Monica said, clearly upset that her private party was being disturbed. At least let me get my damn shoes.

As they attempted to get away, guests continued to pull at Bridgette, trying to hug and kiss her.

Bathroom! Bathroom! Monica called out. Let the lady get to the bathroom before she pees on herself.

For once Bridgette was thankful for Monica’s Ghetto Fab quick wit.

A few minutes later the ladies were in the junior suite Monica had reserved for her and Dr. Irving.

Let’s do this, Bridgette said.

Swiftly all three women pushed, pulled and prodded until Bridgette escaped from the butter soft silk dress that was truly a work of art. Half out of breath, Bridgette spoke.

Did you do the things I asked? Did you get the key from Santana?

Have you forgotten who you are talking to? Heifer, I gets shit done. A couple drinks and my hood rat cousin grinding against him, he couldn’t say no. If he did, I would have capped his ass, Monica said.

Is everything how I wanted it to be? You know I waited a long time and---

Monica interrupted her. If you don’t hold your breath and stop talking so we can get this damn full-body chastity belt off, I know something, she said, wrestling to remove Bridgette’s corset. Your ass would be on lock down all night if you had to wait for Rene to try and remove all of these damn strings, hooks, and damn straps. His ass would have cut it off.

Monica, you promised no profanity, Amber said.

Monica burst out laughing. I lied to get you two heifers off my back. Dang girl. What were you trying to do with all of this on?

Are you saying I’m fat? Do I look fat? What is he going to think? Bridgette asked, starting to cry.

He’ll think this is flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone. This is the woman God made just for me, Amber said.

Bridgette stopped and turned towards her friends. I’m nervous y’all. What if… what if I don’t please him. I don’t know what I’m doing. And you know, with the accident… what if…

Girl, please. You gone work it out or he will. One way or another Rene Anthony Davis is gone to do the damn thang tonight.

They all laughed.

Bridgette took a three minute cool shower so as not to mess up her hair. She lotioned up with her Victoria’s Secret Strawberry and Champagne. Amber came into the bathroom and brought her the beautiful cream-colored bra, garter and panty set she ordered for her from Paris as a shower gift and without missing a beat smoothed lotion on her back. Bridgette then slipped into the shimmery silver silk stockings and attached them to her garter and slipped into the clear and rhinestone high heel pumps. Knowing that Rene was not going to wait for her to change into a negligee, Bridgette had thought ahead. Monica brought in a beautiful lacy camisole to go under her dress.

You already look beautiful. You’re glowing, Amber said.

Monica and Amber helped her slip over her head a simple, silk, satin A-lined, pearl colored floor length draped neck line dress.

The hair, watch the hair, Bridgette said.

She freshened up her makeup, looked in the mirror