Just Joshin': A Year in the Life of a Not-so-ordinary 4th Grade Kid

By Jan Bono

A collection of 63 humorous elementary classroom anecdotes, following Josh through his fourth grade year. Written by his teacher.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jan Bono
• Release date: Feb 10, 2012
• ISBN: 9780983806639

Jan Bono

I am a retired teacher-turned-writer on the Long Beach Peninsula, tucked away in southwest corner of Washington state. I've written for Guidepost, Woman's World, Byline and Star. I wrote a bi-weekly humorous personal experience newspaper column for over 10 years, garnering 11 state awards. I'm a frequent contributor to the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series, with more than 50 stories accepted for publication, putting me in their top 5 contributors, world-wide. I have won or placed in many local short story contests, and I won the grand prize for an Astoria, Oregon, newspaper murder-mystery serial contest. The SYLVIA AVERY MYSTERY SERIES has been a long-held dream of mine, and it is now COMPLETE at 6 books: Bottom Feeders; Starfish; Crab Bait; Hook, Line, and Sinker; Oyster Spat; and Tsunami Warning. These humorous cozy mysteries all take place in SW Washington state. Thanks for checking out my bio; You can learn more and keep up-to-date on my JanBonoBooks Facebook page. I hope you enjoy my writing! Jan

Book preview

Just Joshin’

A Year in the Life of a Not-so-ordinary

4th Grade Kid

by Jan Bono

Copyright 2012 Jan Bono

Smashwords Edition

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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Sandridge Publications

P.O. Box 278

Long Beach, WA 98631-0278

http://www.JanBonoBooks.com

DEDICATED

to Josh, of course,

and to the myriad of eager, intelligent, quirky kids everywhere.

May your teachers always strive to understand you.

SPECIAL ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

to Patricia H. Rushford, Birdie L. Etchison, the late Dr. Kenneth W. Bierly, and the past and current members of the Coastal Writers’ Critique in Long Beach, Washington, for their gifts of precious time, unfailing support, and loving but critical eyes

during the 20 years it took to write and edit this book.

And especially to the late Julie Briggs, the 3rd grade teacher who was responsible

for placing Josh in my 4th grade class so many years ago.

CONTENTS

Introduction

September

Welcome to the fourth grade / Transportation / Space shuttles

Friday Freeday / A kid like Josh

October

Punctuation / Homonyms / Women in the arts

California Earthquake Relief / Take your seats

November

Pencil rent / Theory of evolution / Conference time / Sales pitch

Absent without leave / Where the sun don’t shine / Gourmet cooking

December

Career choices / Technical difficulties / Hypothetically speaking

A winter poem / Please stand by

January

Resolutions / Twelve stories / Vocabulary lesson / Coming to the defense

Philosophy of life / Government trash site

February

Good work / A blaze of glory / Utter silence / Most powerful man in America /

State of being / Kickball game / Embarrassing moments

March

Special Places / Flashing lights / Tall girls / Influential jewelry

Miss Clairol / New math / Elizabeth / Seven shot test

April

Easter bunnies / Hubble telescope / Environmental concerns / Class observation /

Tabloid reporter / Geometry / Pet story / Coming untied

May

Long live the mountain! / Personal secretary / Calling grades / Seating chart

Standing up for principles / Field trip summary / Read my lips

June

Jumping to conclusions / Life as we know it / Farewell letters

Very punny / The last word

Epilogue

About the Author

INTRODUCTION

His name was Joshua—like the successor of Moses and the leader of the Israelites. Without much provocation or outside encouragement, this particular Joshua would have happily taken over my classroom and led us all into the wilderness in gleeful anarchy.

It’s been awhile since Josh was in my class. As I write this, in September 2009, it’s been exactly 20 years since he walked into my classroom. George H. Bush was president; California had a major earthquake that fall; the Exxon Valdez oil spill dominated much of the news the following spring, and the Hubble telescope was going where we had never gone before.

Josh entered my life during my thirteenth year as an intermediate elementary teacher. He displayed unusual wit, intelligence, and charm. His mental dexterity was that of an exceedingly bright 30-year-old whiz kid cleverly disguised as a nine-year-old fourth-grade student.

Average height, but a little on the chunky side, Josh had a round, inquisitive face and sparkling eyes. His brown hair stood on end whenever he stopped what he was doing long enough to push the sweat off his brow with the palm of his hand. He wore a perpetual I’m up to something smile—a brunette Dennis the Menace.

Josh’s style of dress complemented his flamboyant personality. Years before the grunge look, he wore baggy pants rolled up several turns at the cuff and a dark T-shirt. A man’s tailored dress shirt, always unbuttoned and usually red, flowed about him like a cape. High-top tennis shoes, the untied shoestrings flapping along behind him like the tail of his shirt, completed his outfit.

Forever in a hurry, a helter-skelter intensity marked Josh’s every move. But his impish grin conveyed the underlying earnestness of his thoughts. Curious about everything, Josh wasn’t afraid to ask questions. And ask questions, and ask questions…

Yes, Josh was definitely gifted, but not in the way people usually think of smart. He rarely finished an assignment without continual prodding, and often received grades no higher than a ‘C.’ Josh’s gift resided in his insight, his humor, and his ability to cut straight to the absurdity of any problem.

He made me laugh; he made us all laugh. Sometimes I wished I’d been better able to hide my smile, especially since Josh knew if I laughed I wouldn’t be so apt to discipline him.

Perhaps I let Josh get away with a little too much. Perhaps. But I’d rather be guilty of being too lenient than of squelching such an imaginative child. I loved going to work every single day that year; Josh filled each day with unequivocal joy.

It is that joy I struggle to express whenever I’m asked what I liked best about teaching. By way of illustration, I often tell a Josh Story. Josh taught me to capitalize on each child’s individuality. He helped me to find and stretch the tools necessary, including humor, to become a better teacher.

He also taught me to look for the Josh in every classroom—there were usually 25 or 30 students assigned to every elementary teacher each year—and it is the teacher’s sacred responsibility to bring out the personal best in all of them.

Intuition must have possessed me to record so many of the wonderful things Josh said and did during his fourth-grade year, 1989-1990.

And now, because Josh’s story is still prodding me to tell it, I’m releasing it to the world.

SEPTEMBER

Welcome to the Fourth Grade

Good morning. I greeted each student at the door. Please put your coats and lunch bags in the closet and sit at the desk where you find your name tag.

The children came