The Man Who Could Not Make Up His Mind

By Ed Brodow

Hilarious satire of a born victim and the predator who loves him.
Clifford Day Vanderwall, a Wasp who attended Princeton and The Wharton School, has a trust fund, a nifty job at IBM, and a spacious apartment on Manhattan's Upper East Side. What's wrong with this picture? Clifford cannot make decisions. He would rather procrastinate hoping the decision will go away by itself. He becomes the helpless victim of Shirley Horner, a predatory fortune hunter who traps him in a web of deceit and gradually assumes control over every aspect of Clifford's life. She eventually destroys his career, his love life, and his self-esteem. Lacking the ability to make up his mind, Clifford appears to be doomed in this outrageous satire about love among New York's upper crust.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ed Brodow
• Release date: Feb 1, 2012
• ISBN: 9781465971708

Ed Brodow

Ed Brodow is the bestselling author of Fixer, Negotiation Boot Camp, Women From Venus, and Beating the Success Trap. An internationally recognized expert on the art of negotiation, Ed was dubbed "King of Negotiators" by SEC Chairman Harvey Pitt. Ed has appeared as negotiation guru on PBS, ABC National News, Fox News, Inside Edition, and Fortune Business Report. As a speaker, he has enthralled more than 1,000 audiences in Paris, Milan, Singapore, Tokyo, Bangkok, Sao Paulo, Athens, Nairobi, Toronto, and New York. Ed is a veteran member of Screen Actors Guild, appearing in American and European movies with Jessica Lange, Ron Howard, and Christopher Reeve. A former Marine Corps officer, Ed graduated from Brooklyn College and lives in Monterey, California. His latest book is In Lies We Trust: How Politicians and the Media Are Deceiving the American Public.

Book preview

The Man Who Could Not

Make Up His Mind

Ed Brodow

Author of Fixer

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

The Man Who Could Not Make Up His Mind

All rights reserved.

Copyright © 2012 Ed Brodow

Smashwords Edition

No part of this work may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in whole or in part by any means without the express written permission of the author, except for brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

Published by Ed Brodow

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Contents

Chapter 1: Bells and Whistles

Chapter 2: The Taming by the Shrew

Chapter 3: What Color Is Your Lipstick?

Acknowledgements

Reviews

About the Author

If you come to a fork in the road, take it.

Yogi Berra

Chapter 1: Bells and Whistles

Clifford Day Vanderwall could not make up his mind. He loved the thick chocolate layer cake, but he also was crazy for Milano double chocolate cookies. Which one should he buy?

Mmmm! The mere thought of the cookies made his knees weak. He stood for five minutes in the cookie aisle trying to decide if he should take the cookies and return the cake, or keep the cake and return the cookies. It was a heart-breaking decision of cataclysmic proportions.

Return the cake? Oh no, Clifford had been looking forward all day to the marvelous texture of the rich chocolate icing as it made a soft landing on his grateful tongue. He started for the cake aisle but couldn’t bear to give up his beloved cake.

But then there were the Milanos. A paragon among cookies. That exquisite flavor when accompanied by a cup of hot chocolate. Mamma mia!

What to do? What to do?

He finally decided to postpone the decision by taking both of them to the checkout counter. Clifford made certain that the checker scanned everything else in his cart, leaving the two disputed items for last. It finally came time for the big moment. As the checker reached out for the cookies, Clifford grabbed them and held them close to his chest.

I need to think about this for a minute, he said. By this time, five people were lined up behind him.

Do you want this? asked the checker as he made a move for the chocolate cake.

No. I mean yes, said Clifford. I think. His heart was racing.

Come on pal, said the man directly behind him. Make up your mind, I got things to do.

What’s with this guy? asked a woman