Reigniting Intimacy and Sexuality After You’re Ill

By Ed Weinsberg

This ebook from Rabbi Ed Weinsberg addresses the question of how we can get our sexual mojo back and reignite our passion. This will benefit survivors by reinvigorating their sex lives while increasing their energy and happiness from day to day. In turn, regaining your sexual and general energy will have a positive impact on those whose lives intersect with yours.

The ebook’s main purpose is to help you reignite sexuality and intimacy after cancer and other serious illnesses. Aside from this, however, we’ll address a broad range of related concerns:

* How to cope with pain when it’s inevitable

* Heal through sexuality and intimacy - physically, emotionally and spiritually

* Extend foreplay for personal happiness and pleasure (yours and your partner's)

* Recognize and deal with major illnesses that impact on sexuality and intimacy

This ebook also describe obstacles to intimacy and sexuality after an illness and offer ten strategies for reigniting intimacy and sexuality.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Rabbi Ed Weinsberg is a prostate cancer survivor and healthcare educator with a doctorate in gerontology. He is also a Certified Sexuality Counselor through the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists.

WHAT OTHERS SAY ABOUT RABBI ED'S WORK

"Rabbi Weinsberg covers a very delicate subject with grace, honesty and objectivity. I highly recommend consulting with Rabbi Ed through any one of his outreach mediums."

— Tina Greenbaum, LCSW, breast cancer survivor

“Understanding that sickness does not have to end intimacy is vital for every marriage. Rabbi Weinsberg helps readers resolve this important issue to create a lifetime of love and fulfillment.”

—John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

"Rabbi Ed offers important insights about intimacy after a major illness. His wide-ranging experience, care, and compassion make him a wise choice if you need his counsel."

—Dr. Jed Diamond, PhD, LCSW, and author of several books including MenAlive: Stop Killer Stress with Simple Energy Healing Tools

"Rabbi Weinsberg draws on his own medical ordeal to bring guidance and comfort to others."

— Rabbi Harold Kushner, author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ed Weinsberg
• Release date: Jan 26, 2012
• ISBN: 9781466000575

Ed Weinsberg

Rabbi Dr. Edgar Weinsberg of Sarasota, Florida, is an ordained rabbi and healthcare educator with a doctorate in gerontology. He is also a Certified Sexuality Counselor though the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists. After his successful robotic surgery for prostate cancer in 2007, Rabbi Ed was moved to share his and others’ experiences by writing the book Conquer Prostate Cancer: How Medicine, Faith, Love and Sex Can Renew Your Life. Dr. Robert Carey, a urologist and a leading robotic surgeon, was a contributing author for the book, which has won several awards. In addition to his work as an intimacy coach through his Sex and Cancer website, he also maintains the Conquer Prostate Cancer website to address the specific concerns of prostate cancer patients, survivors and their loved ones.

Book preview

Reigniting Intimacy and Sexuality After You’re Ill

Helping Men and Women

Revive Intimacy after Cancer and Other Illnesses

by Rabbi Dr. Ed Weinsberg

Copyright © 2011 by Rabbi Ed Weinsberg, EdD, DD

Health Success Media

Sarasota, Florida

Smashwords Edition

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the express permission of the author.

Contents

Introduction: When You Lose Your Mojo

The Inevitability of Pain

Intimacy versus Sexuality—Two Keys to Self-Healing

The Role of Foreplay

Major Illnesses That Impact Sexuality & Intimacy

Five Obstacles to Intimacy and Sexuality after a Major Illness

Ten Strategies for Reigniting Intimacy & Sexuality after Major Illness

1. Make Love, Don’t Just Have Sex

2. Use the S-T-I-C-K Method for Whole-Body Sex

3. Discuss Intimacy and Sexuality with your Doctor

4. Determine if Hormone Treatments are Right for You

5. Redefine What it Means to be a Man or Woman

6. Communicate Effectively with your Spouse or Partner

7. Rev Up Your Romance

8. Pursue Erotic Activities Together

9. Develop a Healthy Lifestyle

10. Keep the Faith to Regain Intimacy

Common Responses to a Partner’s Emotional & Sexual Withdrawal

Getting from Here to There

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

What to Do Now

Questions? Just Write and Rabbi Ed Will Reply!

Discovery Consultation

About Rabbi Ed

Learn More

Introduction: When You Lose Your Mojo

Mojo is a slang term that means magic or charm. It refers to a person’s sex drive (libido), sex appeal, confidence, and sexual attraction. When you lose your mojo, it means you’ve lost your magnetic sexual energy and personal magnetism and feel inadequate as a person. Losing your mojo, along with your self-esteem, occurs all too often due to the debilitating effects of prostate, breast and other cancers or illnesses as well as their treatment side-effects.

An accompanying sense of personal loss intensifies as many boomers and seniors age. I personally experienced this after my prostate cancer diagnosis and robotic surgery between January and April of 2007. The loss of sexual functioning, fostered by adverse treatment effects, deflated my male ego like a sharp rock on the road shreds a speeding car’s front tires.

The result for me was that I unwittingly withdrew from the person I love most, my wife of nearly 40 years. This brought our physical, emotional and spiritual intimacy to a screeching halt. Only nine-plus months later did I finally wake up and revise my self-destructive behavior that also was so hurtful to my partner in life. But before I could renew our special relationship, I first had to develop strategies for reigniting intimacy that I will share with you in this book.

Even when a person isn’t impacted by an illness of the kind you or I have experienced, the gradual loss of sexual verve during our forties, fifties and beyond, in many but not all cases, hits home more forcefully. At this developmental stage, men begin to lose about 1 percent of testosterone annually, and women’s natural estrogen recycling declines during and after menopause. Combined, these outcomes are sure-fire ways for reducing self-confidence in our masculinity or femininity, particularly since the incidence of cancer