Aliens Can't Tell Time

By J. C. Wabash

Ethan Miles and his cousin Danielle are average middle grade kids until that Friday in October when they meet two visitors from Pluto. Turns out Plutonians have been living on Earth for centuries (which may explain my neighbor). Plutonians like to combine Earth inventions to make what they call re-inventions, everything from secret silver writing to an invisible jet. But here’s the important thing: they can preserve minds. For years they’ve been filling little bottles with the preserved minds of the greatest humans in history. Now they can bring them out one at a time and give them a temporary body. That’s what they do for Benjamin Franklin. They match him to a young person who could learn from him – that’s Ethan - and give him three days to live in the modern world. That was the plan, but as Ethan and Danielle find out, great minds don't always go along with the plan. Franklin runs away to Paris with the science teacher and things get worse from there. There’s a kidnapping, a secret lab, a fire and – well, let’s just say that not all aliens are good guys.

• Language: English
• Publisher: J. C. Wabash
• Release date: Dec 16, 2011
• ISBN: 9781466046306

J. C. Wabash

J. C. Wabash is a writer and artist living in California.

Book preview

Aliens Can't Tell Time

By J. C. Wabash

Smashwords edition

Copyright 2011 J. C. Wabash

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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Chapter 1

HENRY

My boss and I are from the planet Pluto, but you’d never know it to look at us. We look completely human most of the time. When this whole thing started we were working in Philadelphia, which made sense because of the city’s history. The plan was for Abner to visit Ethan on Thursday night, to explain everything. That’s how it began – just a routine visit to an Earth kid – but the way it ended up, with the kidnapping and the fire, was definitely not routine.

I remember it was October - my favorite time of year on Earth, when the days are still warm but your seasons are shifting. When we got to Ethan’s house we parked ourselves right outside his bedroom window, which was open. It wasn’t cold, but a drizzly rain had started and it was dark, especially there at the side of his house where the porch light didn’t reach. Ethan was at his desk, with his back to the window and headphones jammed in his ears. Abner and I watched him for a minute. Already I was wishing I’d brought some food with me because the plan was for me to wait around outside and let Abner do the talking. And believe me, Abner likes to talk.

He leaned his head in though the window.

Good morning, Mr. Miles, he said. But of course Ethan couldn’t hear him.

The headphones, I whispered. And it’s not morning – it’s nine-thirty in the evening. Abner’s like that – doesn’t always notice the most obvious things.

Ah, right. What would I do without you, Henry? he said. But that’s easily solved. And he stepped over the low windowsill, right into Ethan’s room.

He took off his wet shoes - he never likes to have things messy - then he took a Tidy Cloth out of his pocket and wiped off the shoes and his jacket. Everything was clean and dry in an instant, including the cloth. Tidy Cloths are one of our inventions and they’re super handy. Actually I should say one of our re-inventions, because that’s what we call the things we make out of old Earth stuff. Abner folded the cloth neatly and put it back in his pocket. Ethan hadn’t heard him – he kept writing at his desk while Abner looked around the room.

Like most kids we study, Ethan had posters for games and movies on the walls, but the floor was spotless – none of the dirty clothes or crumpled papers we usually see. There was a bookshelf, and I saw the red book there. Over the desk was a bulletin board, completely covered with photos and clippings, but everything was tacked in place at right angles. This kid was more of a neat freak than your average eleven year old. I knew from Abner’s earlier report what he looked like: light skin, hazel eyes, straight brown hair. That night he was wearing old jeans and a Phillies T-shirt.

I knew Ethan was special in some way because Abner picked him. Abner must have had his reasons and I figured it wasn’t my job to know them. I used to joke that Abner kept me around just to taste test the food. But, all kidding aside, my main responsibility was to research the history, while Abner evaluated the Earth kids who might become Guides. I thought Abner was a good boss and I was OK with letting him make the big decisions. He even gave me my human name – Henry Chumley.

Abner walked across the room to Ethan’s desk and tapped him on the shoulder.

Ethan jumped. When he turned around and saw Abner he jumped again, straight out of his chair. At first he looked so scared I thought he’d scream or faint and then we’d have to go to our backup plan for those situations. But when he grabbed the cell phone on his desk and started to dial 911, I thought it would be OK. That’s a reaction Abner can usually deal with.

Calm yourself, Abner said. I’m not here to hurt you. And for a moment, Ethan did calm down a little.

Abner always has that effect on Earth kids. In his human form he looks old, at least at first glance. His hair is white and he dresses in an old-fashioned suit like somebody’s grandfather. But his bright eyes and quick movements make him seem young in spite of the hair. He’s thin, or maybe wiry is the right word because he’s kind of springy. His eyes are turquoise blue, and the skin around them doesn’t look wrinkled like most old people.

I could tell Ethan was caught by those eyes. He shook his head as if to unlock himself from their gaze.

Good morning, Abner said again.

It’s night, Ethan said. And who are you? What are you doing in my room?

Of course, yes, it’s night. But I do love the sound of that greeting in English. Good morning! Good morning! Why, I could say it all day! And he laughed out loud.

So I guess he did know that it was night. Liking the sound of words is typical of Abner. He gets carried away with language and the sound of his own voice. He’s always learning new English expression and making up poems and stories.

Who are you? Ethan said again, still holding his phone. Now he was clutching the desk and I was getting worried again.

My name is Ticocamatela, said Abner. As soon as he said the name, Ethan’s arm jerked up and he grabbed his elbow.

How did you do that? he said, rubbing his elbows. I knew exactly what had happened – Abner said his name in Plutonian, and the sound of it made Ethan’s funny bone tingle.

Oh, I’m sorry, Abner said, "I sometimes forget that my name has the letter ceta in the second syllable, and the sound of it has that effect on you humans."

Humans? said Ethan, his eyes widening. But then he grinned. Wait a minute – did Danielle send you here?

Right then I wondered who the heck Danielle was, because I hadn’t met her yet. As it turned out, she was going to show up just a few hours later, but of course I didn’t know that then.

I was not sent by anyone named Danielle, said Abner. As I said, my name is Ticocamatela and since I am not human like you, my native language is different than yours. I saw Ethan grab his elbow again when Abner used his Plutonian name. Because some of the sounds in my language have physical effects on humans, I go by the name of Abner Wylie while I’m here.

Here? Ethan repeated. Then, with panic in his voice he added, "What do you mean not human?"

Abner waved his hand dismissively. Don’t worry, I’ll explain that. But tonight my time is short and I should start with why I’m here and what you need to do tomorrow. You and I will work together over the next few days, and I’ll tell you more as we go along, Mr. Miles. Or may I call you Ethan?

Umm … OK, said Ethan.

Ethan it is then. You may call me Mr. Wylie. No … Abner! He laughed again, then he wiped off his smile and began his standard speech. Now – time to be serious. I’ll explain why I’m here, but you must listen carefully because what I’m going to tell you will seem odd. Unbelievable, even.

Ethan only stared.

I have chosen you for a special role in my work here.

Your work?

Yes, my work here on Earth. You see, I come from the planet Pluto.

The planet Pluto? Ethan repeated. He wasn’t panicked, but he was doubtful, I could see. Also he was edging toward the door, which was not a good sign.

You can look it up, said Abner, pointing to the computer on Ethan’s desk. Here, I’ll show you. He typed words into the computer, entered a search and right away a page came up. Plutonians on Earth, the headline read. Under it was an article about how a few Plutonians had been living on Earth for many years. Near the bottom of the page was a small photo of Abner. Ethan read the screen, then his gaze went back and forth between Abner and the photo.

You’re from Pluto, he said. Amazement was replacing fear on his face.

So I relaxed a bit – Ethan was starting to believe. Reading something in print usually has that effect on humans.

Yes, said Abner. "You humans can never seem to decide whether it is a planet or not, but I assure you it is. We sometimes make it shift a bit in size and properties, just to fool outsiders, so your astronomers can be forgiven for being confused. We Plutonians are good at changing appearances."

That’s an understatement, I thought. We Plutonians are shape-shifters. If you give us a minute we can transform into almost any living creature – a squirrel, a crow, a man or a woman. We’re proud of that. At least we’re not like the Ionians, who never change at all. Barbarians – always have been. Of course the Asteroid Entities are even worse. It’s ironic that you humans seem so interested in Pluto and yet so blissfully unaware of them. I’m an expert on Asteroid Entities. They’re our enemy, but even smart Plutonians like Abner underestimate them.

I realized that I’d drifted off with my own thoughts when I should have been paying attention, so I turned back to Ethan and Abner.

We’ve explored other planets and studied many life forms, including your own, Abner was saying. We’ve become expert in taking the shapes of other beings, as you can see. Don’t I look like a human?

Ethan said nothing.

But – forgive me for pointing it out – we are more advanced than humans. For instance, my race understands time and yours does not.

We understand time! said Ethan indignantly, glancing at the clock on his desk.

I mean other aspects of time, Ethan. Time travel, for instance.

Earth kids always think they know about time travel because they saw some movie about it. Abner smiled as if he knew Ethan’s thoughts.

We Plutonians understand that time moves only in one direction. We cannot repeat the past, nor can we reverse the flow of time, which is like a river flowing forward. It may slow sometimes and rush rapidly at other times, but it does not roll back upstream. My people have fully understood this for many generations and we don’t waste our efforts on trying to travel through time.

You mean time travel is … impossible?

Well, let’s not quibble about theories. Let’s just say we Plutonians understand that it’s impractical. But we have found that a person’s mind can be preserved, and then brought back into consciousness later. Properly cared for, a mind can be preserved for years and years. Centuries even! And when it’s brought back out again, it can observe a future time. So it’s a bit like being pulled out of the river of time, and jumping back in at a new place.

He paused and sat down on the edge of the bed, looking satisfied with his analogy. I’ve heard Abner’s speech before and I tend to get hungry about halfway through it. I dug around in my pockets and finally found a Mars bar. It wasn’t much but it kept me occupied while Abner rattled on.

We perfected this technique of mind preservation first among our own kind, then we found that it could be done with humans as well. It’s not time travel, but it is like a mind going into the future.

Mind travel? said Ethan.

Almost. We preserve a mind, then bring it out later for a few days. The body can’t be preserved and cannot travel through time, so we supply a temporary body, recognizable and functioning. The mind is channeled into this body and that way it can, very briefly, see a bit of the future.

What if I don’t want my mind to travel through time? said Ethan.

Oh no, Ethan. It is something that must be done only at the end of life. He smiled kindly. And you are not close to death. This mind travel, as you call it, is only arranged for certain people.

Like who?

Well, famous people, mostly. People who were talented and accomplished in their lives and have influenced human history. People who are dead, except for their minds, which we have preserved. We call these people the Guests. And – here is the important part – we match each Guest to a present day person, a Guide.

Ethan was a smart kid – you could tell he was taking this all in and thinking of questions as he listened. Abner went on.

The Guide is a young person who is matched to the Guest – it’s someone who can learn from them. Part of our work is to pair a young person with someone from the past who is especially suited to help them.

Why? said Ethan.

I never know quite how to answer that, said Abner. It’s a little like what you would call a science experiment, but I think of it as more like gardening. And how can that be explained? A gardener simply enjoys working in his garden. And for Plutonians, humans are like lovely plants that we enjoy tending.

And you’re thinking of tending … me?

Yes, of course. It will be an experience to remember, I promise you.

Ethan looked doubtful.

Picture this, Ethan, Abner said, his turquoise eyes flashing with excitement. We have a huge room full of wonderful old minds, each held in a bottle, all floating near the ceiling, waiting to be re-animated. When we find the right young person to serve as Guide, a mind is taken out and put into a temporary body. The mind – the Guest we call them - gets one last glimpse of this world, and the chance to influence a present-day person.

There was a long silence – maybe Ethan was trying to picture it – but then finally he said, So are there more of you here?

Yes, hundreds. We’ve been here on earth for a long time. Our life spans are much longer than yours, but even so there have been several generations of Plutonians living on Earth.

Why hasn’t anybody ever noticed you?

"Oh, but we have been noticed. We’re in human form most of the time, so we’re noticed all the time. We live among you."

Plutonians here in Philadelphia?

Yes, and other places too, said Abner. But there are so few of us relative to all of you, and we only tend a few humans. A few hundred of us – billions of you. It’s like drops in the ocean.

You live here and garden us, said Ethan incredulously.

Well, yes, said Abner. We’re not gods, we have no way to control entire worlds or populations. But on an individual basis, we like to help humans develop. It’s a hobby you might say. My father collected the minds of John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, Lafayette, and several others of that period. Abner always likes to brag about that. "Now it’s my job to find the right match and arrange for each mind to visit for three days.

"I am a caleosorist – in my language. In English we use the word Timekeeper. We arrange to take a human mind from the past and allow him or her a glimpse of the future. It’s called a deliovitu in our language; in English we call it a Time Viewing."

A Time Viewing?

Yes, Abner continued. "One Time Viewing for each Guest – each mind that we preserve. We’ve been arranging Time Viewings for hundreds of your years and by now we know the best methods. A Time Viewing lasts for only three days, and it must be carefully planned in advance. We arrange only one every Earth year. The three Timekeepers alternate and this year it is my turn to stage the deliovitu."

So you get to choose a famous person?

Abner nodded excitedly. Yes. And it’s a wonderful thing to watch, Ethan. A superb human mind being allowed to briefly see the future – the ultimate new experience.

Doesn’t that change the past – when you mess around with time? said Ethan.

No, remember, it’s not really time travel, said Abner. A Time Viewing is brief, and involves only the preserved mind, so it has no physical effect on the present. And it takes place after the moment of death for the Guest, so it can have no impact on their life either. But a Time Viewing can have some influence in the present time. In fact, we hope that it does, because it is intended to benefit the Guide.

And I’m the Guide? said Ethan.

Yes, this time it’s you. We have a list of qualified young people – kids who have a special quality. But out of the names on the list, each Timekeeper is allowed to choose who is best suited to their Guest. Both Guest and Guide can enjoy and learn from a Time Viewing, but it’s only the Guide – the young person - who can actually make use of what they learn from the experience.

Why does it only last three days?

The Guest is fragile. This is partly because the body that their mind is channeled into is temporary, and partly because the mind of the Guest is old. Great minds can take in a great deal in a short time, and the most inquisitive minds go on longest. I’ve been a Timekeeper for many years, and the longest I’ve seen one go on was for five days. He chuckled. That was da Vinci.

Leonardo da Vinci? said Ethan. The guy that painted the Mona Lisa?

"Yes. He didn’t want to give up. But anyway, we’ll never know how long a Guest could go on, because five years ago the Council – that’s the governing body for caleosorists - decreed that each Time Viewing will last for a set time period of only three days. In your case it will be Friday, Saturday and Sunday. And Friday will be a shortened day since the Guest will not arrive until after school."

Tomorrow? You’re bringing some old mind for me to meet tomorrow?

Actually, he’ll come to you alone. He’ll look human, of course, and you’ll be the first person he meets.

Why not you?

"That would be easier if it were possible. But we’ve found that it’s quite a shock to a human mind to suddenly be transported into the future. Since you’re human I’m sure you can imagine what that would be like. It’s also a shock for a human to meet a Plutonian. You should know. You were polite when I asked you about it, Ethan, but I know that I don’t seem entirely human to you. We have found that even when we take human form, humans detect a difference. There is still something strange