Rockbottom

By Kipp Bedford

Often people wait until the end of lives to tell their life story while they sit in their motorized lift chair watching their flat screen hd tv, texting their great grandchildren about having to actually talk on a phone with a cord plugged into the wall. Others go to the other extreme of videoing every minute of every day of their lives so when they die, their loved ones can watch them the day they got sick on the warm sushi they had on the 21st of October in the ninth year of the new millennium. Me? I chose to live life and write down the parts that humor me. The other not so humorous parts ... well those are the parts lived on the rockbottom.

About the time rockbottom was finished I found the following quote by Mark Twain “(the) right way to do an autobiography (is to) start it at no particular time of your life; wander at your free will all over your life; talk only about the thing which interests you for the moment; drop it the moment its interest threatens to pale, and turn your talk upon the new and more interesting thing that has intruded itself into your mind meantime.” Mark and I are unrelated as far as I know, but these words connected us on a level that I could relate too. Hopefully you will feel a connection as well.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kipp Bedford
• Release date: Sep 28, 2011
• ISBN: 9781465852298

Kipp Bedford

Born and raised in the south. I am not the typical stereotype guy that has a gun rack in this truck and a fishing boat parked in his front yard; I can't afford them yet. My college education provided me a career path that has allowed me to travel to nearly all 50 states. I use my background and travels to tell my stories the only way I know. Some call me a southern storyteller, others call me names I shouldn't speak of here.

Book preview

rockbottom

Written By Kipp Bedford

Published by Kipp Bedford at Smashwords

Copyright 2011 Kipp Bedford

Visit me at http://kippsversion.blogspot.com

Smashmouth Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

rockbottom Table of contents

Chapter A Foreword

Chapter 1.Peer Pressure

Chapter 2.Paint Ball

Chapter 3.Underground Alabama

Chapter 4.Story

Chapter 5.AT

Chapter 6.Friends

Chapter 7.Friends II

Chapter 8.What to call it?

Chapter 9. I got it figured out

Chapter 10. Poem of the Unknown Soldier

Chapter 11. Man Tires

Chapter 12. John 3:16

Chapter 13. Road Trip

Chapter 14. Beach Trip

Chapter 15 Acknowledgements

rockbottom

Chapter A Foreword

You may be asking What am I about to read? Well it is a compilation of stories from my life. The brief stories are a progression of thoughts and experiences that I wanted to share with friends (known and unknown). These stories have reconnected me with old friends and allowed me to find new ones. My hope is for these stories do the same for you.

Who am I?

I am a preacher's kid, Christian, husband, father, golfer, story teller, exaggerator, cynic, Sunday school teacher, Platinum Delta Airline SkyMile holder, large group speaker, expert canoe paddler, bug squashier, lifeguard, lifesaver, rental car stunt driver, expert lawn mower, grill master, dreamer, and friend to most.

Why did I call it rockbottom?

We all have been on the bottom. You were just there, you are there now, or you are headed there, you just do not know it yet. Whether your unfortunate portion is material, spiritual, or physical, read some of these stories and if you do not feel better about yourself, call me we will talk.

What made me want to write?

Growing up every time we had company I loved listening to stories people would tell that drew their audience in and made them laugh. One of the best story tellers I have ever met was Uncle Bob. Uncle Bob is a Mississippi Delta farmer turned (more like forced) writer. He could tell me about going to check the mail and I would hang on every word. Spending time with him and his family as a teen made an unforgettable impression on me. Apparently the impression was twofold. A few years after he published his first book under the name Robert Hitt Neil called the Flaming Turkey, he published another called The Jakes. The Flaming Turkey is a conglomeration of humorous hunting stories. A jake, as described by Uncle Bob, is an immature young turkey. In the book, The Jakes, Uncle Bob chronicles his son and his friends as they learn about growing up. A few of my more embarrassing moments while on the Mississippi farm were incorporated into the book. Maybe the dream of publishing my own stories started at that point...

Why should you really read this book?

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Most everyone I know likes to laugh at somebody. A few of us like to laugh at ourselves. If you qualify on either of those, then here is my recommendation: lay back, get comfortable, read a few of these stories crafted from my experiences, with a touch of creativity and a dash of humor and see if one of them doesn’t make you smile.

Chapter 1Peer Pressure

My brother heard about how I wanted to write stories about some of my life experiences. The first thing he said to me Do not put me in it. All of the sudden I started thinking about all the things we did together growing up. Maybe he would not mind just this one. I love you man.

You have seen the car commercials with the cool cars doing crazy stunts right? The cars are either driving fast on a curvy road. Or they are being run over by a monster truck but although due to the best safety standards in the industry they are not being squished like a pancake. Or the ones were they simulate a car crash and the people inside are bouncing around off the big white puffy pillows? But they always display somewhere on the screen in small print: Professional driver performing stunt on a closed course. Do NOT attempt. Raise your hand if you see that as a challenge. You and my brother would get along just fine.

My brother and I grew up watching shows like Rockford Files, Starsky and Hutch, Dukes of Hazzard and the A-Team. Who says TV does not influence your decisions? When we were old enough to drive, we tried many of these maneuvers we had seen on TV. I remember one hot summer afternoon my brother buying a 1976 station wagon for like $300. (More like we watched the Partridge family right? Hold your horses) When I asked him why he bought a station wagon he answered I want to try something with it. You want to go? For some reason, that was good enough for me. Sure. Then he says, Call Malone

Malone was a mutual friend of ours that was always ready and willing to help us out on a project. These projects ranged from chores around our house to most any outdoor activity. He helped us cut grass, change the oil in our cars, clean our rooms so we could go water skiing, (shut it, you know your mom made you