Everybody vs The Ferret 3: If You Touch It, It Will Come

By Cristian YoungMiller

Warning: Adult Humor

In Everybody vs The Ferret 3: If You Touch It, It Will Come, the girl fruitheads discover a mysterious button on their body that when pressed transports them to a beautiful world full of unicorns and rainbows. But when the boys discover their own mysterious buttons, a battle breaks out between the boys and girls over who will rule the magical realm.

Based on characters from the author's Everybody Masturbates book series, Everybody vs The Ferret is a satirical book series about how we deal with sex and life in the internet age. In every book, Billy, Jack and their pet ferret battle Candy, Tia and the girls in the cold war being waged over who will rule their school. Comparable to the animated TV show South Park.

• Language: English
• Publisher: RateABull Publishing
• Release date: Sep 11, 2011
• ISBN: 9781465881182

Book preview

EVERYBODY vs THE FERRET: 3

by

Cristian YoungMiller

RateABull

Books

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Published By:

RateABull Publishing

Published by RateABull Publishing at Smashwords

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Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

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The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Copyright © 2011 by Cristian YoungMiller

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review. For information contact Cristian YoungMiller at [e-mail].

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Book Design by Cristian YoungMiller

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Dedication:

This book is dedicated to everybody who wished they had more information about themselves than they were given.

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Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

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EVERYBODY vs THE FERRET: 3

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Chapter 1

Ferret looks down at the snow-covered fur on his leg. Following the trail of sprayed snow along the ground he finds a skier who had thrown himself to the ground to avoid a collision with him.

Did I get you there, bra? the pineapple-headed skier asks.

Don’t worry about it, Ferret says in his slow, southern drawl. Ferret is about to walk away when he turns back to the skier. And if you got me, you’d be a lot happier because it would have led to the best night you ever had. But the day is young, so maybe later, he says with a smile.

Ferret walks away, leaving the skier confused. Shifting his skies into his free hand, Ferret heads toward the ski lift. Latching his skis onto his feet, he positions himself in front of the next lift chair and the bench whips him into the air.

Ferret examines the slopes below him and then gets the unmistakable feeling he is being watched. Adjusting the scarf around his neck, Ferret looks