A Collection of Short Stories, Volume 3

By Wes Patterson

This volume of short stories follows Cal Rowland through his mature days of life when he finally concluded that it is very difficult to discover what happens after death, and therefore he embarked on earthy pursuits, like winning at horse-racing, fast cars and not taking life too seriously.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Wes Patterson
• Release date: Aug 16, 2010
• ISBN: 9781452359205

Wes Patterson

Wes Patterson (1938-2010) graduated with highest honors from Johns Hopkins University on a full academic scholarship, majoring in psychology and creative writing. He completed his post-graduate work at the University of Florida.After leaving school, for a brief period of time, he became involved in crossbreeding and popularizing animals and reptiles as pets.He believes, he was responsible for the current "ferret pet craze" as he "re-discovered" and "re-introduced" ferrets as pets in 1964.He popularized and sold ferrets by the thousands to pet shops throughout the U.S. from his animal and reptile farm in Melrose, Florida.There are now more than ten million pet ferrets in the U.S. and just recently New York City has become so inundated with the cute intelligent carnivores that the city council is considering new licensing laws.He also popularized the malamute-wolf cross and various snakes and other reptiles as pets.He has always been acutely aware of the environment and endangered vanishing species.His other life-long interests include, paranormal psychology (regression and reincarnation) and serious literature.He was a prize winner in the annual publication of "Best College Writing of 1964".His poetry and prose have been published frequently in anthologies and poetry journals throughout the world, including Russia, India and Japan.His writing deals with life, death and love and the ageless philosophical questions of existence that ancient philosophers have been pondering since the beginning of time.In 1992 he met and married Irina Trefilieva, a Russian doctor of medicine, who came from a country where poetry and literature are greatly appreciated.In her translation, much of his poetry has appeared in major Russian literary magazines and received excellent reviews.

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A Collection of Short Stories

Volume 3

by

Wes Patterson

SMASHWORDS EDITION

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PUBLISHED BY:

Wes Patterson on Smashwords

Cover art/design: Debra Cortese (debracortese.com)

A Collection of Short Stories

Volume 3

Copyright © 2010 by Wes Patterson

All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

Smashwords Edition License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author’s work.

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I dedicate this collection of short stories to four special people.

First, my thanks go to my mother, Margaret Patterson, and my father, Henry M. Patterson, without whom this book would not come into existence. Then, I'd like to thank my wife who shares my passion for good literature, who read the manuscript many times and always gave it to me straight. I am also indebted to Samantha Friedman for countless hours she spent putting the finishing touches on the manuscript. And finally, my sincere thanks to Debra Cortese who designed a beautiful cover for this and many others of my books. Thank you all.

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This volume of short stories follows Cal Rowland through his mature days of life when he finally concluded that there is no way to know what happens after death, and therefore he embarks on indulging in earthy pursuits, like winning at horse-racing and ridiculing those who take life too seriously.

Contents

Food Fascination

A Set of Old Blinkers

The Good Old Days

A Strong Woman

The Last Vacation

A Matter of Geography

Cal and Allison

An Act of God

The Mystery of Life

Food Fascination

The hot south Florida temperature continued on, way past the time you would normally expect it to decrease, and they both felt uncomfortable in the heat, sitting on one of the many benches placed strategically on the huge lawn of the mansion. She seemed to be somewhat troubled and deep in thought while he just sat there, more accustomed to the extreme heat.

So, said the girl, I’m trying to understand you as a person. You say you’re on the river of life, and you just flow on this river, and you’re happy and nothing much bothers you, and nothing much affects you?

Well, I guess you might say I have a philosophy of life and I live a certain way, but I don’t know what you mean by that question that nothing much bothers me or affects me.

What I mean is, for instance, you don’t really care about me. You don’t really care what happens to me. You don’t have any feelings towards me. Even after we’ve been talking now for over a half hour.

Well, of course, I don’t have much feeling towards you one way or the other because, like with any other person that I would meet half an hour, I don’t think I would have much feeling one way or another. Most people, as a matter of fact, bore me tremendously. I very seldom spend any time, any time at all, with most people. But being as I feel directly responsible for your existence, I certainly don’t mind spending time with you and trying to get to know what has resulted from my contribution to your existence, and whatever you might want to know about me. I don’t mind spending this time with you.

You actually say you don’t mind spending time with me because you’re responsible for my existence, but you don’t seem to have any really great interest in spending any time with me. You don’t seem happy or overjoyed to see me.

I’m always so-called ‘happy’ or content. I’m not necessarily affected one way or the other by the fact that you’re here. I just feel it’s an interesting occurrence, an interesting event, that you would come over here, and that you would find me, and maybe we will have something interesting to say to each other. And maybe we won’t. And maybe for some reason you resent me terribly, and maybe for some reason your feelings are very positive towards me. But as for myself, I don’t have any particular feelings because I really don’t know you. And outside of this, as I said, this accidental asterisk or afterthought by which you were produced, and I feel directly responsible for your existence, I don’t feel any connection to you. And as I said, I feel that it could have been any other man. Your mother just happened to be with me that evening. And I fully believe she was, after looking at you, but she just happened to be with me, she could have been with any other man. And therefore, why should I feel anything special in this whole thing, not knowing you at all. I can’t possible feel anything one way or the other until I get to know you. Until we have long conversations on various topics and then I’ll feel that I’m drawn to you for some reason, or maybe I’ll feel the opposite, I don’t know. And I don’t place any great importance on this. I feel whatever will happen, will happen. If a relationship develops, it will develop. And if it doesn’t happen, it won’t happen. And I don’t see why I should place any great importance on this. Of course, if you want to that’s your prerogative, and I’m not about to tell you how to live your life, or tell you what should be important in your life, or what should not be.

But you, yourself, you feel you’re not important in my life. That actually you feel that you have nothing to do with my life. That you probably don’t want anything to do with my life.

I didn’t say that, said Cal. I didn’t say any of that. I actually would like to know more about you, because of the circumstances. I actually would like you to tell me more about what you feel and what you’ve been through. And if you’re interested in me, we certainly can have long conversations and discuss anything in life you might want to discuss. I’m pretty busy at this time with all my work, but I’ll always make time for you if you’re interested. And of course, if you do stay here for a while, you’ll have my sister and my wife to talk to and they’re very interesting in many ways. And, as I said, you’ll find them far more sympathetic to the fact that some time, twenty or so years ago, your mother and I had sex and the you were the afterthought, or asterisk, of this meeting. I think you’ll find them more sympathetic in human terms to all this and you might derive a lot more satisfaction from talking with them than talking with me, because apparently you do not somehow relate to the way I feel and the way I think.

No, I don’t, she said, I somehow felt all the way through this search of mine, through this long two or three year search, that when I finally found you, that you would be this graying, handsome. And you’re not graying at all, I see, and you don’t look old enough to be my father, but I somehow felt that somehow you would look like my father and that you would immediately embrace me, and love me, and feel tremendous guilt for abandoning me and my mother, and wished to make it up to me in any way possible. That I would feel safe and loved and cherished by you. I was constantly thinking of that sort of theme all the long two or three years while I was going from to agency to agency trying to track you down. And I was thinking at the culmination of all this we would have a tearful reunion. We would be truly as father and daughter almost immediately, that you would immediately accept me as a true daughter, and love me, and cherish me.

Well, said Cal, you thought absolutely wrong on that count because, as I said, I feel absolutely nothing one way or the other, because of the reasons I mentioned. Because, first of all as I said, anyone could have been your father. It just happened to be me, and the only connection I feel is a genetic one. However, as we get to know each other, who knows what might develop. I have no idea what I will feel or will not feel, and I’m not at all concerned which way it goes. Whatever happens, will happen. Whatever does not happen, will not happen. And that’s generally the way I go through life, and I’m sorry that this does not coincide with your elaborate fantasy, or your own personal idea of what a father might do, or how a father might act. But that’s the way it is. I happen to be your genetic father and if you’re not pleased with me, well, that’s life. It’s your problem, not mine. I am who I am and you are who you are. I might not be pleased with you, but if that were the case, it would be my problem. And that’s why I’m not pleased or displeased, because I don’t know anything about you, and that may come about only later.

So, said the girl, you go through life in this completely nonchalant, relaxed sort of way, hardly feeling anything, and feeling that everything will settle out in some way, one way or another. And you’re not concerned at all with how things actually turn out, or how things eventually settle themselves out.

Right. That’s more or less it. I am very fulfilled in my life and very happy with it as it is. And I pursue exactly what I want to do. And I truly enjoy life. But that doesn’t mean that I have to conform to anyone’s particular standard, or conform to whatever society might dictate, or conform to whatever is the norm in any particular situation. I am just myself. I have always been myself and that’s it, and you have to accept me for who I am, or not accept me. That’s up to you.

Well, if you feel so nonchalant and so disinterested and so unconnected to me, except genetically, I can imagine how your wife might feel, she, actually having no ties whatsoever with me. And actually me being a child of another woman. I can see that she might feel in a far more negative way even than you feel.

Well, you’re probably wrong about that. Because my wife has a completely different personality than I have, and a completely different set of values. And you might be almost 100 percent wrong about that. You might find that you and my wife are very much alike and you might find that she so-called ‘accepts’ you or ‘loves’ you or whatever you want to term it, in a far greater way or much more so than apparently I do. The fact that you are not genetically related to her wouldn’t mean anything to her. She has her own life and her own philosophy. As a matter of fact, she’s a philosophy teacher at the University. And my sister likewise, is equally different. I wouldn’t make any conclusions from my personality and my outlook and my whole concept of life, as to what my wife’s might be, or my sister’s. I am just who I am and you have to understand that although the great majority of people behave in a certain way, and you can feel confident that having a certain set of facts or having a certain set of circumstances will result in a certain outcome. That, generally speaking, having ‘A’ will result in producing ‘B’. That however is not necessarily true with me, as would generally be true with most of the population. You can’t necessarily say exactly what might happen with anyone else. I realize, after having lived a long period of time, how different from the norm I really am. But you have to understand that it doesn’t bother me at all, as I said. I just go my own way and if you so-called ‘like’ me, and are attracted to me, that’s fine. And if you don’t, well, that’s fine too, with me, that is. If there’s a problem, it’s a problem that you have. I have no problem with it, no matter what you do or how you feel. I have no control over what you feel or what you do, being as you are an adult now.

That’s just it. That’s just it in a nutshell. You don’t feel you have any control, or any interest, or any love, or any desire, or any feelings, or that you’ll have any effect on my life whatsoever.

I didn’t say that, said Cal. I didn’t say that at all. I said that I have my own life and my own view of life, and I just go right ahead and live it. And whatever I do, I do. And whatever I feel, I feel. And I certainly don’t worry about it. And I hardly ever even think about it. Again, if there’s a problem, it’s not my problem. My life is my life, to do with as I please, and I go right ahead and do that, whatever it is. And if anyone has a problem with that, then it’s their problem. I didn’t say I feel anything or want to do anything or don’t want to do anything. I have no idea what will happen. And you’re right in that I don’t much care what will happen because I don’t have any control over what will happen. Whatever happens, happens. And I’ll enjoy life just as much regardless of what happens. Because that’s the way I am and that’s the way I view life. Whatever comes up in my life is naturally enjoyable, satisfying, and fulfilling.

But the thing that bothers me so much is that you seem so unconcerned, so distant, so much so that you wouldn’t care if I died right now, on the spot, or if I killed myself because I found my real father so unresponsive. I feel you wouldn’t care if right now I went up in the bedroom and shot myself. You feel so unrelated, so distant, so cold.

Well, whatever I feel, and I don’t feel much of anything, as I told you, right now, I wouldn’t feel responsible for whatever you did. Just as I don’t feel responsible for what happened after that one night so long ago, I wouldn’t feel now responsible either, for whatever you might do after you met me. Because I am who I am. And if you felt so disappointed in me that you would go upstairs and take your own life, I certainly wouldn’t feel responsible for that either, because I’m not responsible for that. I am in no way responsible for it. I am who I am and that’s it. And whatever you do with your life, or if you decide to do something with your life because of something that I am, that’s certainly not my concern or responsibility. My only responsibility is to myself. My only responsibility is to live my life the way I want to live it, to tackle life the way I want to tackle it, and to fulfill myself in my own way. And that should also be your own responsibility to your life. You should take your life into your hands and find happiness and fulfillment in your own life, and not look to me, just because I’m your biological factor, for happiness or fulfillment or for love. You should not be looking to anyone. You should be directing your own life, and living your own life, and not feeling dependent on me or anyone else for your own happiness. So if you were to be disappointed in me, so disappointed in me, that you would take a gun and go upstairs and shoot yourself, and even kill yourself, no I wouldn’t feel any responsibility for that either. Because I am who I am and I’m not about to change for anyone, and I don’t think anyone else should have to either. Everyone has their own life and everyone has their own ideas and philosophy and live their own life. And you look to happiness and fulfillment in yourself. You don’t look to your daughter, or your son, or your father for happiness and fulfillment in your life. You find fulfillment in yourself and in your life. So, if I don’t fulfill your dreams and your concept of what a father should be, again it’s your problem. Not mine. Because I go about my life in my own way, and I don’t look to anyone to fulfill me and to make me happy, or to fulfill my dreams. Likewise, because I might not act as you would wish, if I don’t fulfill your dreams, this should not be your problem. You should have your own dreams and your own life to live and it should not be in any way dependent on your father, on whether he is this way or that way or whatever way he might be. Because that’s the way he is. And the same applies to your mother. You must live your own life and find your own path and find your own happiness and your own fulfillment, apart from anyone else.

Well, she said, I really don’t understand you for the most part. I’ve had such an unhappy life, and I’ve always wondered about my father, my real father, and I’ve been so unhappy with my stepfather, and I’ve been abused, and I’ve always had this wonderful dream, in my mind, how eventually I would find my real father. And eventually I did get old enough to leave the house and to do this, and eventually I did find my real father, and I find that he appears to be not at all concerned with whether I ever found him or whether I ever existed or anything else to do with me.

Well, said Cal, that is for the most part true. But it doesn’t only apply to you. You must not take this personally as if it applies only to you, to my daughter, genetically. It applies to everyone in my life. I don’t single you out and act this way just because you’ve come here, just because I’ve met you now. I live my life this way all the time. And I react this way towards everyone in my life, not just you. So you must not take this in any way personally. You must not take this personally in that I’m singling you out in some way and treating you differently than I would treat anyone else. Because that’s not true. I really enjoy my life. I really get the greatest thrills and fulfillment out of my life. You would really be surprised, I think, if you knew more about me. On the other hand, I really don’t care much about what other people think, or what other people do, or about what preconceived notions other people might have about how I should act. I really don’t care because I have too much in life to explore, to learn, and to think about. I have too many things to do, too many things to really enjoy, and love, and laugh about in life. Life is such a wondrous, unexplored territory for me. I can’t be bothered or concerned with what anyone else thinks I should feel or I should do or should not do or should have done or should not have done. So don’t take this personally in any way, because it’s not. I’m not treating you any differently than I would treat anyone else in my life. I just have no reason to treat you any differently and I wouldn’t. I just go about my life as I normally would. And the fact that you showed up here today on my doorstep means exactly what it means. That you’re here and I acknowledge that I’m responsible for your existence. And that’s about as far as it goes, as of right now. What will happen in the future, I don’t have the slightest idea. And how you’ll interact with Charlotte, my wife, or Astrid, my sister, I’m not at all sure either, and I don’t really care. It’s none of my business again. It’s not a part of my life. You see, I live my life the way I want to, exactly the way I want to, within the circumstances that I find myself, of course. I just can’t be concerned with what someone thinks about me or anything. And if you have built up all these dreams concerning your biological father, and have constructed these elaborate ideas and concepts, and I don’t fit these ideas and concepts, that’s your problem, not mine. Because again, I am who I am, and I’ll continue to be who I am. I’ll continue to do what I want to do, when I want to do it, and how I want to do it, and act any way I want to act. And this should not concern you in the slightest because you have the exact same right to do whatever you want to do, and effect whatever you want to effect, and act however you want to act. You cannot look to me or anyone else to personally make you happy or fulfill your desires or fulfill your needs. It’s as simple as that. I’m not sorry, even, that I don’t fit your concept of a long, lost, loving father, or whatever it is that your thinking about, because I am just who I am. And I’ll be going through all of life like this. And I suggest you rethink your life, your life philosophy, and that you rely on yourself for your own happiness, your own fulfillment, your own enjoyment in life. And I’m sure Charlotte will be glad to talk to you a lot about philosophy, if you have any interest in philosophy. Because as I said, she’s a philosophy teacher at the University.

But, you don’t seem to understand the terrible life I’ve had. You’re almost like a stone, or a stone wall, that I’m talking to. First, my mother has rejected me all my life for other men, and now, specifically for my stepfather, who has even abused me. And my mother, of course, doesn’t believe it, and finally, after all these terrible traumas of abuse by my stepfather and my mother, and lack of love from either of them, I’m finally able to get away and I find you, and you’re about as responsive to all my troubles, to my terribly troubled life, as a stone, or a brick wall. You just seem to have no response, no empathy, whatsoever.

I know very little of your life. I’ve only met you now for about 45 minutes, and whatever I feel or do not feel, or do or do not do, is not, again, my problem in any way, shape, or form. Again, you should not rely on me or anyone for your happiness. Now that you’re over 18 and able to leave home, and whatever happened before that is unfortunate, but now that you are over 18 and able to leave home and take control of your own life, you, yourself, must be responsible for the direction of your life and whatever happens in it, and must not look to anyone else for happiness, or fulfillment, or help in any way.

I just thought, she went on, that when I found you and met you that you’d immediately embrace me and love me and take me in, and my whole life would change, and I’d for once would be happy and be able to enjoy life.

Well, it doesn’t work that way. No one can ever find happiness or peace or fulfillment through someone else. Through someone’s father or through marrying someone else. Because, true happiness and peace and fulfillment comes from within yourself. That’s something that you cannot get from anyone else. That’s a popular misconception, that if you can only marry this ideal person who you might be in love with, that you will then be happy and fulfilled. You must discover within yourself, this happiness, fulfillment, and peace. And not look towards me as your father, or anyone else for this because you’ll only be disappointed, truly disappointed. And now, I don’t have much time left for today. Why don’t we go inside and see where Astrid is. I don’t think she’s busy right now, and I’ve got a lot of work to do. I’m sure you can stay here as long as you wish and you can get to know me if you want to, and my wife and sister also. And maybe you’ll find in them more common ground than you find with me. And maybe you’ll be able to establish more on a communication basis than you can establish with me. So, let’s go on in and see where Astrid is. I’m sure she’ll be able to fill you in on a lot of things because she was around at the time you’re so interested in. She was around in the old days and she can tell you a lot about those times.

Cal and Julia walked up the steps to the mansion and into the living room, and saw Astrid on the floor wrestling with Wolfie, roughhousing with him, playing roughly, the way she sometimes played with him in a sort of mock recreation of an actual fight, in which Wolfie would growl and Astrid would leap, and both of them would tumble to the floor. Both enjoyed this roughhousing together, Wolfie, of course, never biting or else he could easily crush Astrid’s bones.

Cal and Julia stood there watching, and Cal finally said, Do you know who she’s wrestling with?

A dog, said Julia, one of those sled dogs from up north.

Not exactly. She’s really wrestling with a wolf. It looks a lot like a sled dog but she’s really wrestling with a wolf.

A wolf? A real wolf?

Yeah, said Cal, I’ve had him as a pet ever since he was five weeks old.

This is your pet wolf?

Right. And Astrid more or less takes care of him because I don’t have the time.

Astrid, by now, had stopped wrestling and sat down on the couch, and Cal said, Astrid, this is Julia. She’s come a long way and she spent a lot of time trying to find me. A long time ago, I had sex with her mother and she’s the result of that time. And she’s really spent a lot of effort and time trying to locate me. I’ve got a lot of work to do now, Astrid, and I was wondering if you’d like to talk to her. You could fill her in on all the old times when this happened, when I was so wild, you remember, as a graduate student at the University. And you were around at that time, and I’m sure you could fill her in on a lot of the details. She’s very interested in the circumstances of her conception, of how life started for her, at that time. I was trying to answer most of her questions but I don’t think we had much common ground. I believe that you could really fill her in on what the times were like at that time, and what I was like, and she appears to be very interested in all the circumstances of her conception and her birth at that time, about 17 or 18 years ago. And we’ve agreed that she’s quite obviously my offspring. I really have a lot of work to do and I told her you’d be glad to fill her in on whatever she might like to know. Would you mind, Astrid?

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