Brothers of a Band

By B. J. Lambesis

Brothers of a Band, a debut novel, is a timely satire about American culture and the Afghanistan War. Witty, irreverent, humorous, and at times poignant, the story follows the life journey and musical career of Theodore “Tooter” Rawlings. The story begins when Theo is in the fourth grade and joins the band at his elementary school in the suburbs of Phoenix, Arizona. He eventually becomes a classically trained woodwind player and lands a job with a local community orchestra. When the downturn in the economy causes the orchestra to go bankrupt, Tooter joins the Army Band to ride out the recession. To his surprise, he ends up deployed to Afghanistan patrolling with a rifle, instead of playing his instrument at Army ceremonies and social occasions.
“I’m a classical oboist! What do I know about killing insurgents? I didn’t sign up for this,” Tooter wailed.... “I signed up to play the “Washington Post March” at welcome home ceremonies.”
With thinly veiled references to actual state and national current affairs, Tooter encounters plenty of nonsense, absurdity and short-comings of the human condition as he ventures through life; and he represents young people who have had their dreams for the future detoured by circumstances beyond their control. Luckily, two things transcend it all - music and the human spirit.
Civilian readers also are given an insightful and informative look at the “almost forgotten” war in Afghanistan, and perhaps gain a better understanding of, and appreciation for, those members of the U S military and their families who shoulder, on behalf of all Americans, the entire burden of war.

• Language: English
• Publisher: B. J. Lambesis
• Release date: Oct 25, 2010
• ISBN: 9781452497358

B. J. Lambesis

B. J. Lambesis is a retired business owner with a background in marketing and public relations. Prior to owning and operating a manufacturing and distribution business, the author held executive positions with a regional hospital, a large bank and a community college district. Brothers of a Band is a debut novel. Lambesis lives in Phoenix, AZ surrounded by an extended family and three border collies. Readers can obtain a Book Club Discussion Guide for Brothers of a Band via e-mail by contacting the author at [e-mail] and requesting a copy.

Book preview

Brothers of a Band

Tooter’s Tour of Duty

By

B. J. Lambesis

E-BOOK EDITION

* * * * *

PUBLISHED BY:

Marketing Methods Press

Smashwords Edition

Brothers of a Band

Copyright © 2010 Barbara J. Lambesis

All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

E-book Edition License Notes

This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author's work. All author proceeds from the work benefit the Wounded Warrior Project and music education programs for kids, so thank you for your donation, as well.

__________

For

All the kids in the school band - past, present and future.

and

All those who volunteer to serve in the U.S. Armed Forces.

__________

Music…can name the unnamable

and communicate the unknowable.

Leonard Bernstein

There is always inequity in life. Some men are killed in war

and some men are wounded, and some men are

stationed in the Antarctic and some are stationed in San Francisco.

It’s very hard in military or personal life

to assure complete equality. Life is unfair.

John F. Kennedy

__________

Chapter 1 – Theo Learns to Toot

Theodore Rawlings’ teeth were always prone to cavities. He spent a lot of time at the dentist’s office getting fillings and fluoride treatments. Looking back on it, it was a late running dental appointment that ultimately sealed his fate and determined how his entire life would play out.

Theo, as his mother called him, was the only child of Beatrice and Louis Rawlings. As a result, Beatrice tended to flutter over him like a hummingbird, making sure she was providing all the proper nutrition, adequate fresh air and exercise, immunizations, and self-esteem building emotional support recommended by noted pediatrician, Dr. Rory Childless, in his best selling guide, Raising a Perfect Child in an Imperfect World.

But try as she might, she just couldn’t seem to do anything about little Theo’s teeth, except take him to the dentist for frequent treatments. The dentist said his soft teeth probably were a genetic trait, so little Theo would have to be extra diligent about brushing and flossing. He also recommended Theo drink plenty of milk each day. Beatrice served only non-fat milk, as recommended by Dr. Childless.

In her youth, Beatrice had been a bright and pretty girl who loved to read. She should have gone to college and become an English teacher. Her family, however, was of modest means and didn’t encourage her; and alas, she seemed more interested in finding a husband than finding a future.

She married Louis shortly after she graduated from high school. Louie was a couple of years older and he had a hot, muscular body attached to a head with a reasonably pleasant face. His steady job, hanging drywall, provided a daily, muscle-toning workout, which kept him in the kind of physical condition that made potential mates overlook the fact Louie’s IQ was probably only somewhat above room temperature.

Beatrice and Louie had been going together for months, but the subject of marriage never arose until Beatrice found herself with child and they quickly got married at a little wedding chapel in Laughlin, Nevada. They settled down in Peoria, a working class suburb north and west of Phoenix, Arizona and close to Sun City, where the housing boom was creating massive urban sprawl and Louie could find plenty of work.

Theo was in the fourth grade when the school sent home a flier announcing the formation of a school band. The elementary school had received a grant from the Rachel B. and Harvey T. Morganthal Foundation to purchase band instruments and provide funding for a music instructor. Grants were awarded to fifteen schools nationwide, schools with at least twenty-five percent of their students on the free lunch program. Lucky for Theo, his school had fifty percent of the kids – almost all of whom were illegal immigrants – eating free lunches. It also had a music loving third grade teacher willing to write the grant application. School district officials were shocked and surprised when Theo’s school was awarded one of the grants.

The Morganthals were classical music lovers who made their fortune salvaging parts from old instruments. There is a lot of scrap metal in a beat up tuba. They successfully tied up the niche market, crafting exclusive arrangements with almost every public school district and university in the nation. Middle school students were especially hard on the brass instruments, and quality sound could not be obtained when a horn received more than two dozen dents. Instruments were frequently replaced.

Buying back instruments for a penny on a dollar and selling new ones, whenever possible, at full price - less, of course, the ten percent discount they offered educational institutions - proved to be very lucrative. The Morganthals were kind hearted people who decided to generously give back to the source of their wealth. Since they had no children to fight over an inheritance, it seemed like the right thing to do. Besides, declining resources and tight budgets forced many school districts to cut their music and art programs, and restore an emphasis on the basic three Rs, which by then had become – only after long and heated deliberation by the faculty and approval by the school board – Reflective Thinking, Recreation and Romance Language (Spanish). So, the Morganthal Foundation grants were especially coveted.

Theo was very interested in trying to play an instrument and being in the band. He had the trumpet in mind.

According to the announcement, the band would meet during regular school hours three times a week. Students also would be required to attend two after school sessions for semi-private instruction each week. Parental permission was necessary and parents were required to sign a waiver holding the school district, the music teacher and the Morganthal Foundation harmless in the event a loss of hearing sometime in the future could be traced back to participation in the program. A $25 special elective, aptitude evaluation and participation fee also was charged.

When Theo brought up the subject at dinner that night, he held his breath knowing what was coming. He looked down at his plate and waited for his dad to explode.

Ligament Louie, as he was called by his fellow drywall hangers at Benson’s Drywall and Stucco Repair Company, was a former high school jock and an all-state baseball player whose dream of making it to the Big Show was foiled when he was permanently disabled by tearing both ACL ligaments trying to steal home on a bunt. He slid into the catcher with such force his knees curled like licorice twists. The catcher weighed 350 pounds and also played nose guard on the football team. While the catcher was too big and too slow to play any other baseball position, he did know how to protect home plate. Too bad for Louis T. Rawlings, who always thought his name was an omen signaling he was preordained to become an All-Star major league baseball player and multi-year winner of the Golden Glove award.

Louie never got over it. After graduating from high school with a D plus average, he found himself hanging drywall instead of playing AAA ball for a farm club of a major league team and waiting to be called up to the Big Show. He talked so often about how he would be playing ball if it wasn’t for that nimrod, butthead of a third base coach who sent him home on a play that terminated his baseball career; those around him grew tired of the telling.

"For what? he repeatedly bemoaned, still unable to understand the injustice of it all. We were down by eight runs with two outs in the ninth inning. I should have flipped him the bird and stayed on third. What coach orders a bunt with two outs and a runner on first and third? What was the idiot thinking? Why did he do this to me?"

Theo held his breath.

I thought you were going out for Little League, the band is for sissies, stated Ligament Louie with authority, as he took another bite of his ear of corn and wiped the butter dripping off his chin with his forearm.

Well, intervened Beatrice. Use your napkin, Hon, and set a good example. She paused a moment then continued, You know Louie, not every kid is an athlete. Music can be just as entertaining as sports.

Just so you understand, Bea, stated an exasperated Louie. Have you ever met a trombone player with a multi-year, multi-million dollar contract and endorsements? Noooooo. End of discussion!

Two days later, Beatrice signed the waiver and permission slip and gave Theo the money for the fee; money she personally earned as a part-time, lunch hour waitress at the Five and Diner restaurant. Dr. Childless would approve of this work outside the house, because she could be home to take care of her son after school everyday.

Interested kids with valid permission slips were to meet in an old storage area converted to a music room to select instruments and meet the new music instructor and band leader after school the following Thursday. As bad luck would have it, Theo had a dental appointment that ran late. By the time he got back to school, the trumpets were gone, as well as the trombones, baritone horns, French horns, saxophones, flutes, snare drums and cymbals. Only some clarinets and a piccolo were left. Four girls already were assigned clarinets.

Theo didn’t know what to do. His mother, feeling guilty the dental appointment had caused such heartbreaking disappointment, racked her brain to determine what Dr. Childless might recommend at a time like this. Confounded, she did what most mothers of a disappointed child would do. She marched right up to the music instructor, Mr. Waddington, and explained that little Theo wanted to play the trumpet, but was delayed because of a dental appointment, and just what was he, Mr. Waddington, going to do about it.

Mr. Waddington explained to Mrs. Rawlings that she had two choices. One was to purchase for Theo his own trumpet, which would probably cost about $300. The other option was to accept the clarinet or the piccolo and hope one of the trumpet players quit.

Beatrice took Theo aside to explain that he lived in an imperfect world and to encourage him to take home the clarinet, telling him he just might have a natural aptitude for the instrument.

Look honey, none of the boys with the trumpets will practice as hard as you. Soon one will drop out, she said reassuringly.

In the meantime, she explained, Theo could learn notes and scales, and how to read music using the clarinet, which would all come in handy when a trumpet became available.

So, Theo reluctantly picked up the clarinet, while his mom signed the legal form indicating the clarinet was the property of the school on loan to said student. Thus began a musical journey.

_________________________

What’s Dad going to say, said Theo strapped in the backseat of the 1986 Ford Taurus clutching the clarinet secured in its black leatherette case. Only the girls picked the clarinets. Dad’s going to think I’m a sissy. Trumpets toot and clarinets squeak.

Don’t worry, you’ll be a tooter before long, said his mom. I think your dad will be okay about it, as long as you play catch with him in the backyard, and maybe give Little League a try.

I don’t mind playing catch with Dad. I’m just tired of hearing how he could have been a professional ball player, sighed Theo.

Well, don’t be too hard on him. After all, it’s an imperfect world.

Okay, but you tell him the clarinet is temporary. I’m just waiting for a trumpet.

_________________________

Louie started calling Theo Tooter the day he brought home the clarinet. Beatrice explained what happened and told Louie that Theo soon would have a trumpet to toot with the other boys in the band. Louie accepted the situation and decided to dub his son Tooter, reasoning all great baseball players had nicknames, so guys in the band should have nicknames, too.

Tooter learned to play the clarinet with remarkable speed. Before long he was outplaying all four girls and bored with the semi-private lessons Mr. Waddington gave the wind players twice a week. He enjoyed practicing, and only on a rare occasion would that ear piercing squeak, associated with a novice clarinet player, be heard.

Mr. Waddington was so impressed with young Theo’s natural ability, he strongly suggested his parents consider private lessons. That meant Beatrice would have to work a few extra hours every week to earn the additional $25 needed to cover the cost of the extra weekly lessons. Trying to raise a perfect child takes money, as well as good intentions, she thought. Dr. Childless would certainly agree this assistance was well worth the investment.

When a trumpet finally became available, Mr. Waddington, as promised, offered it first to Tooter. Tooter however, had become rather attached to the clarinet and turned down the offer.

In the meantime, Tooter would play catch with his dad at the end of the day and he actually developed a strong throwing arm. Louie loved coaching his son and giving him tips on how to throw the ball, like they do in the major leagues. Tooter even signed up for Little League, just to please his father. While he was a pretty good outfielder, he couldn’t hit the ball if his life depended on it. When it was his turn to bat, he would stand in the batter’s box and hope for a walk, knowing if he took a swing he’d probably miss. His frequent dental appointments caused him to miss so many practices and games he never acquired enough skills to become a starter. One year was all it took for Louie to realize Tooter would never be a baseball player. But Louie was so happy his son gave it a try, he displayed Theo’s team photo on top of the TV until the day he died.

Louie never told the guys at Benson’s Drywall and Stucco Repair that his son was becoming a pretty good clarinet player. They all assumed Theo would turn out to be a dumb jock, like his dad. When asked about his kid, Louie would simply smile and tell them he had an arm like a rocket. Which was true, of course, because Louie was keeping a close watch on his son’s masculine development by forcing Tooter to play catch with him at least three nights a week.

Hey, Tooter, put that honking horn down a minute and come toss the ball around with your old man. Let me show you I still got it.

Okay, Dad, but I’ve got home work to do, too.

Sure, no problem, just a few tosses to keep the arm loose and the muscle memory intact and we’ll call it a night.

_________________________

Before long, Tooter was entering middle school. He had his very own clarinet and he had attended a summer camp for aspiring musicians, all paid for by the extra hours Beatrice worked at the Five and Diner. He continued to play catch with his dad, and every other year he received a new Rawlings baseball glove for his birthday. Louie would never consider buying a Wilson glove. In his mind, that would be treasonous.

In middle school Tooter signed up for the band, which practiced every day just before lunch. Almost sixty-five kids in grades six through eight, all young musicians with varying degrees of accomplishment, thought the band would be the best place to obtain the required music credits necessary for advancement to the next level.

While no student was turned away, Mrs. Sparks, the band instructor, was interested in molding the young performers into a musical unit worthy of applause at the annual spring concert. Toward that end, she would hold individual auditions the first week of school. She did this to determine the level of talent available, move students to instruments that had no player and perhaps counsel some youngsters to try the choir.

In addition, to spur competition, and thus encourage students to practice on their own, she would rank the players by instrument from best to worst and seat them accordingly in their section. The best player sat in first chair, and would undoubtedly get any solo opportunities. During the course of the year, any player could challenge another for its seat, trying to move up the ladder, so to speak. The challenges were decided by a play off, refereed by the band instructor.

After the first week, a sixth grader named Theodore Rawlings was designated first chair of the clarinet section, beating out twelve girl clarinetists. Well, that caused a brouhaha. Several of the mothers were tempted to file a class action suit citing gender discrimination. On further consideration and after several hours of female hysteria, sobbing, tossing of highlighted hair and gnashing of capped and crowned teeth in the administrative office, the assistant principal convinced the mothers that Mrs. Sparks couldn’t possibly be a male chauvinist pig because, after all, she was a woman, and it was quite possible the selection of first chair was based on merit.

Luckily Tooter never learned of the female conspiracy to oust him from his rightful seat as head of the clarinets. This was probably a good thing, since he had his eye on the blond playing third clarinet in the last row