Love in an Altered State: A Family Tested by Stroke

By William J. Potaka Jr.

LOVE IN AN ALTERED STATE, encompasses many aspects of the life and times of a seemingly ordinary man and his contribution to posterity. The story begins with the fact that "Bill" has suffered a debilitating cerebral stroke. The time line begins approximately 60 years after the end of World War II, in which Bill served as a paratrooper. Because of his poor health he now appears older than his 86 years. To his very young great-grandchildren he is seen as an old man in a wheelchair. The ignorance of youth has masked the fact that he was once youthful and that he led a remarkable life full of achievement.

Much of his life was molded by his heritage and the turbulence of the early 1940s, the preceding Great Depression, and World War II. It is a story of humble beginnings in a Western Pennsylvania coal patch town. It is a tale of hard work, love and separation, duty, honor, and patriotism.

The story describes his early home life and family and how he had to quit school to work in the mines to help the family through tough economic times. The book tells the story of his loving wife "Flo" and their courtship and early years. It is a story that exemplifies the power of love. It details the feeling of separation they endured during Bill's nearly three years of military service.

Bill's military service is chronicled through the archives of the 11th Airborne Division and other military histories. The actions of the 11th Airborne are interspersed with Flo's life on the home front.

From humble beginnings, to a young husband and father in harm's way, to a returning veteran trying to achieve the American Dream, to a life time of community service and achievement in business, Bill has now arrived at his life in an altered state.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jan 4, 2011
• ISBN: 9781481754057

William J. Potaka Jr.

William J. Potoka, Jr. grew up in and around the small community of Mount Pleasant, Pennsylvania. He spent his early years in a “company house” in the coal patch towns of Standard and Shaft, part of the H.C. Frick coal empire in western Pennsylvania. Bill feels blessed to have grown up in small town America with the strong ethnic values, traditions, and work ethic demonstrated by a loving and caring family. Bill attended West Virginia University before serving in the United States Marine Corps. He eventually returned to join his father in the heavy towing and vehicle service business. Together they ran the family business for fifty-four years. Bill was inspired to start writing to tell the story of his World War II veteran father, just one of many everyday common men and women who are our true American heroes. Bill and his wife Julie still reside in Mount Pleasant where they raised three sons and have four grandchildren. Family and family traditions continue to be the center of their lives.

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© 2011 William J. Potoka Jr.. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 1/13/2011

ISBN: 978-1-4520-9667-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4817-5405-7 (ebook)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2010917797

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Contents

FORWARD

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER ONE – EXTREME EMOTIONS

CHAPTER TWO – THESE ARE MY PEOPLE

CHAPTER THREE – BENE VINO

CHAPTER FOUR – NOW AND FOREVER

CHAPTER FIVE – WE PROMISED

CHAPTER SIX – TOPSY-TURVY SANDY

CHAPTER SEVEN – THE 1¹TH AIRBORNE DIVISON

CHAPTER EIGHT – PARACHUTE SCHOOL

CHAPTER NINE – KNOLLWOOD

CHAPTER TEN – CAMP POLK

CHAPTER ELEVEN – NEW GUINEA

CHAPTER TWELVE – THE HOME FRONT

CHAPTER THIRTEEN – THE KING II OPERATION

CHAPTER FOURTEEN – LEYTE’S MOUNTAINS

CHAPTER FIFTEEN – A PARATROOPER’S NEW FIGHT

CHAPTER SIXTEEN – R&R

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN – ON TO MANILA

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN – SERGEANT JOSEPH W. WELC JR……HERO!!

CHAPTER NINETEEN – ANGELS FROM THE SKY

CHAPTER TWENTY – ON TO SOUTHERN LUZON

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE – A SIGN FROM ABOVE

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO – FIRST DIVISION IN JAPAN

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE – FLO’S ALWAYS THERE

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR – HOMECOMING 1945

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE – HOMEMAKING 1948

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX – EASY LIVING ???

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN – REACHING A GOAL

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT – A LIFE’S WORK

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE – GIVING BACK

CHAPTER THIRTY – OUR INSPIRATION

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE – THE AMERICAN DREAM

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO – SO FAITH, HOPE, LOVE REMAIN, THESE THREE, BUT THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE (1CORINTHIANS13:13)

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

BIBLIOGRAPHY

PICTURE CREDITS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

FORWARD

The narrative of this book, Love in an Altered State, encompasses many aspects of the life and times of a seemingly ordinary man and his contribution to posterity. It is written by, and dedicated to, his progeny.

The story begins with the fact that Bill has suffered a debilitating cerebral stroke. The time line begins approximately 60 years after the end of World War II, in which Bill served as a paratrooper. Because of his poor health, he now appears older than his 86 years. To the young children of the family, he is seen as an old man in a wheelchair. The ignorance of youth has masked the fact that he was once youthful and that he led a remarkable life full of achievement.

Much of his life was molded by his heritage and the turbulence of the early 1940s, the preceding Great Depression, and World War II. It is a story of humble beginnings in a Western Pennsylvania coal patch town populated by second generation Americans of varied ethnicity. It is a tale of hard work, love and separation, duty, honor, and patriotism.

The story describes his early home life and family and how he quit school to work in the mines to help the family through the tough economic times of the latter months of the Great Depression.

The book tells the story of Bill’s soul mate, Flo, and their courtship and early years. It is a story that exemplifies the power of love. It details the feeling of separation they endured during Bill’s nearly three years of military service. The book inadequately describes the anxiety and worry of two people emotionally attached but separated by war. Inadequately, because only those who experience such separation understand that the anxiety involved cannot be described in human terms or words.

Bill’s military service is chronicled through the archives of the 11th Airborne Division and other military histories. The actions of the 11th Airborne are interspersed with Flo’s life on the home front, and her inability to keep track of Bill’s whereabouts as a result of wartime censorship and the movement of units during combat operations.

The reader will learn the destiny of Bill’s boyhood friend with whom he enlisted and subsequently volunteered for paratrooper duty.

With the conclusion of the war, Bill is mustered out of the service. After two years, nine months, and four days, three combat jumps, and a witness to death and destruction, he returns to civilian life as a war-hardened 22-year-old who left home at age 19. With this experience, like many of his generation, he was destined to become a leader in his community.

Bill’s transition to civilian life, like millions of others, was one of hard work, multiple jobs, and trying to fulfill ambitions. As in all history, men’s lives are dictated by the times in which they live. For Bill this was a time to catch up on family time and to get on with his life.

The good luck he enjoyed escaping the war unscathed was balanced out with bad luck in his early attempts at business. He endured a series of business failures mostly due to circumstances beyond his control.

Being raised during the Great Depression and toughened by war, men like Bill would never admit defeat. As would be expected and undeterred by earlier setbacks, he eventually went on to become a very successful businessman and community leader.

By the late 1950s at a time when giving back to the community was still an unheard-of phrase, Bill began the giving-back phase of his life. First, he served as a member of the Board of Education. Eventually he was elected to mayor of the town and served in that capacity for 16 years.

Flo, at the age of 41, entered college, graduated and began a career teaching elementary education. At the age of 78 and a lifetime of service, achievement, and business, Bill received his High School Diploma!!

Thus, this old man in a wheelchair has come full circle. From humble beginnings, through adolescence during the Great Depression, to a young husband and father in harm’s way, to a returning veteran trying to achieve the American Dream, to a community leader, Bill has now arrived at his life in an altered state.

May God bless him and others like him!! May we try to emulate him and his generation!! May our country honor him and his generation!! May the world be thankful for men like him in its time of crisis.

BY JOHN M. AMOROSO DMD

INTRODUCTION

This story is a tribute to one man’s life and how he touched other lives. It is a celebration and testimonial to his and his generation’s accomplishments. It is written for and dedicated to his great-grandchildren: Katie Hughes, Ellie Hughes, Cody Potoka, Madison Potoka, Mia Coppula, Colbie Potoka, Jackson Potoka, and all yet to come, including Sophia Coppula expected in early 2011. The story was written so that they may, when they are able to read, know their great-grandfather beyond the weak, disabled, and in their young eyes, scary-looking old man in the chair with wheels. For all their very young lives, they knew him as Pappy P. He could not speak to them, and after his stroke, we will never know if he knew they were his, but the glow in his eyes and the smile on his face when he saw them said he loved them.

I did not write about Dad to say he was better than any of the millions of men of his time. He was only one of many just like himself who served his God, his family, and his country with honor and pride. The fact is many families were just like ours, with a strong father and a supportive, caring, loving mother. Together these families would enjoy the good times, and they would support each other through the hard times.

This is a love story, a story of two people dedicated to one another, never drifting apart from the day they first met. It is about a loving wife of strong faith who would never give up hope that her husband would recover.

Maybe this story will aid families who will be caring for a loved one who will suffer a stroke in the future. It may help them to know what to expect. They may see the time and care involved, the agony of a setback, and the joy in any slight improvement. My #1 advice, which I did not do, would be to keep a journal. Write down all the names of the doctors and what they had to say. Keep notes on all medications and procedures performed. Jot down anything you may feel important or may need to know in the future, and most of all, keep caring and hoping. There have been cases of stroke victims suddenly speaking after years of silence, or they may even begin walking again. My hope is that our family’s story can revive the better memories of other families, especially those who day in and day out have dealt with or are dealing with an illness or a disabled loved one.

Lastly, it was written for those who look at the elderly and see only old people. Look deeper! Their time here, their life here has a story. Every life is important, and every life touches many other lives.

And to the great-grandchildren, know that one does not have to be a rock star, a movie star, or a star athlete to achieve greatness. Just try to be like Pappy P.

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William Potoka Sr.

CHAPTER ONE – EXTREME EMOTIONS

It was one of the best days of our lives when on January 5, 2006, at 11:59 p.m., with less than one minute to spare on my 59th birthday, my wife, Julie, and I were blessed with our first grandchild. Our emotions ran high as we were able to gaze upon Cody Christopher Potoka, a healthy grandson. Cody was our son Chris and his wife, Tara’s, first child. Some of my first thoughts were of my father who earlier that same morning had undergone hip surgery, some 50 miles away in Pittsburgh at Allegheny General Hospital. The surgery, a total right hip artheroplasty, was considered successful. Could I be the type of grandfather he is to his grandchildren, always there for them, always setting an example of hard work and honesty, always full of joy and pride anytime they were around him? I could only try; I knew how! After all, he was my example. I could not wait to call Dad and tell him I was a grandfather now. I had talked to my sister, Sandy, while awaiting Cody’s arrival, and I knew the surgery had been successful. The doctors even had Dad on his feet and had helped him to walk for a short time. He had been joking with everyone, as always. Because of Cody’s late arrival and our concern for Tara, who did not have an easy time and was very weak, my phone call to Dad would have to wait till morning.

I had, along with Julie and her family, spent agonizing months watching her father, Andy Urban, fade from being a spiritually, mentally, and physically strong man to becoming bedridden and finally passing away. Andy was a carpenter who learned his trade in the coal mines. He was self-taught, and his intelligence level was well beyond his years of formal education. He could have been a theologian, an architect, an astronomer, an engineer, a botanist, or any of the many professions of which he was knowledgeable. When I would greet him with a handshake, my hand seemed lost in the grip of his huge hand. His physical strength allowed him to shingle the roof on his two-story house when he was in his 80s. With all these abilities and strengths, Andy was the kindest, most unselfish man I had ever known. He was happy having his faith, his family, his gardening, and the simple things in life. He never got caught up in the greed and rat race of everyday life. Andy was a quiet man, but when he spoke, it was always with wisdom. He was always admired by the example he set to everyone whose lives he touched, especially his eight grandsons.

It was heartbreaking for me to lose Andy. I think it is always harder for a man to see a strong man like Andy die the way he had to die. My father always respected and had a strong regard for Andy. With the visions of Andy, bedridden and weak, still embedded in my mind, I had advised Dad to schedule his hip surgery, advice I will question the rest of my life. I told him that without the surgery, he could spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair.

Dad had bypass surgery on September 27, 1995, at the age of 71. In 2006 at the age of 81, he was cleared for the hip surgery by his cardiologist. Dad walked a lot and seemed very fit for an 81-year-old. Unlike Andy, Dad is a smaller man in physical stature. But like Andy, Dad is unselfish and lived for his family.

The first thing I did the morning of January 6 was to call Dad in his hospital room. I had already called my mother and Sandy in the wee hours of the morning soon after Cody’s birth. I was surprised when Dad answered the phone so quickly and sounded so well. I told him of his new great-grandchild, his third, but his first great-grandson. He was very happy for Julie and me. He asked about Tara and wondered if Chris made it through the long wait. He joked about my catching up to him and being the old man now. Dad told me he was feeling fine. He said he would be home soon. He gave me orders to visit my grandson. He told me not to visit him or worry about him but to take care of my family first. I told Dad that Cody and I would see him soon, and we said our good-byes. Little did I know it would be the last normal conversation I would ever have with my father.

That evening as Julie and I were on our way to visit Cody at the hospital, Sandy called with the news that Dad had suffered a stroke while she, my mother, and Sandy’s husband, Don, were visiting him in the hospital. He had two sessions of rehab that day and was joking with them as usual while demonstrating his walking abilities using a walker. Then at 7:00 p.m., while in his bathroom, it happened. By 7:10, he had an acute change in mental status and also garbled speech. The neurology physicians were at his bedside by 7:15.

I knew all of our lives would forever be changed. He was our rock, our advisor, our mentor, and our confidante. His main objective in life was to provide and care for his family. I thought I would never be able to repay Dad for his kindness and generosity. Now maybe God was showing me a way. As Julie’s family returned Andy’s love as his caretakers, it was our family’s turn to thank Dad by caring for him. More than a year would pass before Dad was able to return home.

In less than 24 hours, I had been at both extremes of the emotional scale.

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