The Buck Stops with You!: A Step-by-Step Guide to Meeting Life’s Challenges

By Dr. Roger Gian

We are here on Earth as travellers, transient spirits on a conscious or unconscious quest
for the significance of our stay.

The purpose of my book is to serve as a travel guide, as an inspiration, as a motivating
element for the individual who wishes to make the trip worthwhile and exciting. It is
about the art of successful living. We are all headed for the same ultimate destination;
where we vary are the stopovers along the way and how long we stay. We all have the
same potential, where we differ is the realization of that potential.

The journey can be joyful or arduous, lonely or full but never without incident. Life is
undeniably a tough exercise but it does not have to be just a trial; it can also be exciting,
a constant source of self-improvement and full of wonder. We do have a say in the
matter.

There are rules to the game of Life. We are here to learn them, use them, and master
them for our personal growth, health and happiness and for those of others.

Within our grasp is a wonderful tool and if tapped will bring us treasures, happiness and
peace beyond belief. All we need to do is be conscious of It and work with It. It only
asks to be acknowledged and to live by Its precepts.

We can be our own best friend or our worst enemy. All we have ever needed, need and
will ever need is right there within!

The Bucks does indeed Stop with Us, with You!

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Oct 18, 2013
• ISBN: 9781483510859

Book preview

inspiration.

1. The Enemy Within

Think about it. Whenever we’ve wanted to do something, wanted to achieve a certain goal, or wished to do a simple task, no matter how big or how small...if it wasn’t within our known limits of self-imposed boundaries, we faced opposition. This resistance may have come from an external source, which will be discussed later, but the primary source of opposition is from ourselves; the enemy within.

Whenever we want to change a simple habit or want to do something new, listen for a moment to the voice inside your head. I can’t, what will people say, it’s not in the budget, what will my doctor say, Dad won’t approve, I’ll do it tomorrow, I’ll start my diet tomorrow, I’ll think about it later, I don’t deserve it, it’s inconvenient right now, I have to go out of my way, it’s not logical, this is not me, what if I fail, I’m scared", etc, etc... and it goes on and on and on. This squelches our initial enthusiasm and before we know it, we are exhausted and do nothing.

When we objectively answer the above questions, who benefits when we give in to this resistance? When we say to ourselves, I’ll do it later, who benefits?

The answer is, it is our mind that benefits. That inner recording, that inner dialogue that never quits is, in the main, negative. The mind will appeal to our ego, to our vanity, to our fear, anything to get its own way and assure its own survival and more importantly its dominion over us. It is up to us to take the reins and stand up for ourselves and do battle with this enemy. By allowing the mind and emotions to dictate our actions and feeding them, we actually form a thought stream. We thereby create an invisible body with this thought stream that will, in turn, certainly manifest.

We, the true we, who want to get things done and achieve, are now relegated to the back seat. Who is now driving your vehicle? Is it we, or our mind? All the mind is, is a record, a file of all that has happened in our life, all the known. The mind works in grooves and perpetuates its own existence. Why do you think people say: Think outside the box or the square? All this means, is to think outside the limitations of our own mind.

From the outset, I wish to distinguish between you, the True You and your mind. Call the True You, Soul, the I, the authentic Self, the True Self whatever, it doesn’t matter, the point is, It is there, inside. Once the You takes over, you build a different set of thought patterns, which will also manifest. The choice is ours. The You is neither your mind nor its offspring the intellect, not your ego, not your personality and certainly not your body. Notice we say my mind, my personality, my ego, and my body. What is the thing that says, My? What is this thing? That part of you, the essential Self, the I. It’s time the You took charge of your life.

If we allow it, the mind will infect us, and as misery loves company, it will infect others. We may never be free of this, until we realize and become aware of this. If we are born a prisoner and never know anything else, then we naturally assume that this is all there is to life.

Our mind is a machine, a computer program, not the programmer. As such it can only accept what it has already experienced and will discard what it does not know or what it deems not logical according to its data. It is a machine to be used, just like a computer: Great servant, very poor master.

Do not make the common mistake of identifying with your body, your intellect, your personality and especially not your mind. You are far more than that. You are the real I, the essential Self, the true master, the heir to the throne. Your mind has imprisoned you for years or more accurately, You have allowed it. You have been the prisoner and your mind the warden. You have given it its power and it is time that you demand it abdicates its reign and that you take over as Lord of the Manor, Master of the House!

You must be in the driver’s seat of your life. You must assume dominion over your emotions, your body and your mental state. You must master your mind and all its machinations. See past the illusions that the mind creates and be aware of the passions that enslave us and hold them in check. They are lust, anger, greed, attachment and vanity.

These may be natural emotions but they become destructive when they are out of control, if they control us instead of us mastering them. To excess, these passions blind us to our higher and better interests. We must become aware of the fickle nature of our mind. Remember that the mind’s only task is its own survival. So it is crucial that we master it and bring it to a subservient position.

And believe me; the mind will put up a hell of a fight using all its passions in order to bring us into line. It is up to us to stay on the straight and narrow and realize that it is only a machine with its own survival as its sole raison d’être. Realize that when we allow it to be the master we also, become machines. By realizing and acknowledging its true nature, then and only then can we realize our true nature and the nature of our heritage...that of creators of our life.

What is this thing called the Mind?

It is an extremely powerful computer. Our greatest tool yet our very worst enemy if allowed free rein. It has no power if induction, of initial thought, its power lies in deduction or conclusion. It is basically a computer; it is a machine and if we allow it free rein, WE become machines, robots. It is extremely powerful. It is neither moral nor immoral. The mind has unbelievable power but must be kept under control-OUR control. We drive it not It drives us!

In actual fact, all the mind is, is a warehouse of collected impressions over the years.

What does the mind like? Routine, habit; it works in grooves, same old, same old, same old. And we are SLAVES to habit-good, bad or indifferent, the mind does not differentiate. The mind despises change and accepts blindly what it has been taught, exactly like a robot.

We pride ourselves on our so-called free-will. But is it really free will or simply our conditioning, or second-hand beliefs, at best?

Since the mind is deficient in powers of creation, has no free will of its own, no independent thinking, it will accept whatever it is fed as long as it is done in accordance with its programming which is habit. So make friends with it. It will not rebel if we do things according to its nature which is habit; it loves habit/routine as it works in grooves, like an old-fashioned record.

Consequently, the mind cannot come to any decision as to what it should or should not do, because it has not the reasoning faculties of the real SELF, who we truly are, to argue the justice of the thing demanded of it.

Like I said before, the mind has no power of induction, it just repeats old patterns. Why do you think that we have drug addiction, alcohol addiction, smoking addiction and all sorts of other addictions? The mind likes routine. I apologise to smokers or any other addict but surely they know that smoking or any addiction is not good, yet they continue. Why? The mind resists change. I am not saying it’s easy, quite the opposite but it is nevertheless true.

We are slave to precedent, to habitual action.

Can you think of anything more stupid than two armies facing each other and fighting to the death? Yet this is what we have done for millennia. AND the more we do it, the more we will continue.

The mind does not think of what is best for you; if it did we would not smoke, we would not indulge ourselves, and we would truly have free will.

The mind’s domain is enemy territory for the real Self. If we really want to exercise free will, we must dig deep into ourselves and truly have independent thinking. In my opinion, the only way out is to look deep inside of ourselves, question everything. Do not look at life from the mind’s point of view of likes and dislikes but rather from the SELF (with a capital S) point of view of what is right and what is wrong according to the deepest part of YOU.

Imagine what we could do if we took control of this computer and use it to uplift everyone around us, especially ourselves.

If we do battle with it, it would be an unequal combat due to its strength, and it will deny us the right of servitude at all and demand to be our master and eat destroy us.

At this very point your mind may tell you that this is another scam trying to take over its domain. Do not be fooled, as it is perfectly natural that the mind will rebel, for the days of its domination over you are numbered. If you allow the mind to rule, it will only lead you astray and only delay the time at which you will finally take over the reins of your life. This will only happen when you are exhausted with your petty desires, whims and personality quirks, which in the scheme of things mean absolutely nothing.

All this inner dialogue is an illusion. The real You will run your life far better than your mind. Just imagine if it was your mind or personality that regulated your breathing, that you would need to think before taking each breath, by the end of the day you would be exhausted. We don’t do that, we let the system do what it does best; the same as we let digestion happen by letting the body do what it does best naturally without interference. What we can do, is give the body the best possible nutrition so that it has the fuel it needs to do what it does best; it is the same with Life. Let the real Self, our own innate intelligence run our life without interference and give it the fuel It needs: healthy, nutritious deliberate thinking.

The key is to calm the mind, let it take a back seat. Allow the real you to be the driver of your life, not that incessant monkey chatter of the mind. The true You resides deep within your heart. That You has tremendous strength, power, freedom and unlimited wisdom. It is this You who in your quiet times guides you, points out your qualities and your weaknesses and endeavours to guide you for your best interest and right living. The real You is an inexhaustible repository of wisdom and power. Surrender your mind, ego and personality to your real Self and It will give you wisdom, happiness and abundance.

Stop looking outside of yourself for the guru, for the answers. They are all within you. That is not to say that others cannot have words of wisdom, but the ultimate guide, the ultimate master is within you. All the answers are deep within you, within all of us if we only dare to listen. It takes great courage to live life this way.

Who and what is the real you? It is that part of you which simply is. How do we know our true Self? Be quiet and listen to the silence within, that pure awareness that is there. It is the inner guru, the inner master, that invisible guiding hand; that voice within all of us. It is not your mind, not your ego and not your personality (ies). There is a Source, a Life Force, call it what you will, that activates, permeates all things. It is present in all of us. This is the real you. This Source resides in all of us. It therefore stands to reason that we all have the same potential, we only differ to the degree that we allow this real Self to manifest and express Itself.

You are not your mind, nor your personality, nor your ego, nor your body nor your present chosen field of work, nor your chosen profession. How many people say: I am a doctor, I am an electrician, etc, etc and identify with that profession. We are far beyond all of that. The real you has a mind, has an ego, has a personality, and has a body, has a profession, all of which are to be used at Its discretion to express itself.

If you want to free yourself, make your mind your servant and your ego and personality your slaves. Do not let your car drive you! Don’t let your computer program run you! Remember you are the programmer, you are in charge!

Do you have the strength of character to do this? To live this way? It takes true grit to live in this manner but the rewards are beyond wonderful. Do you have the guts to give up your petty opinions, your outdated beliefs that are really only hand-me-downs and scraps thrown to us by others? Those others are barely struggling themselves. No one has it 100% right. Do not settle for scraps when you can have the main course.

What is this elusive thing we call success and happiness? Is it as elusive as we think? Or is it lurking somewhere and all we need to do is lay claim to it. We have the power to make decisions. Success and happiness don’t just happen; they are the result of choices, of decisions, minute-by-minute decisions that we make all the time. Do I get up now or later? Do I have tea or coffee? What am I going to wear today? All of these contribute to our success and happiness and they are all under our control.

We can exercise our free will at any time. The only question we need ask ourselves is: are our choices are going to contribute or contaminate our lives? And consequently add to or detract from our happiness and success. Decisions, decisions, decisions! As an example, you don’t know what to wear one morning and you can’t make a decision. You sit on the fence; you will end up wearing nothing. This is tantamount to madness as this would inappropriate unless you lived in a nudist colony.

But isn’t this what many of us do, we sit on the fence, make no decisions and let life go by. By doing this, Life will make decisions for us and then we expect our life to turn out OK. It is better to make a wrong decision, as Life will put us back on track if we trust it.

Success and happiness are not random happenings. They are like farming. The seeds are planted, watered and nurtured until one day, we harvest. We reap what we sow, and our thoughts are the seeds we plant every day. So we shouldn’t be surprised with our harvest, which we call our life. We have done it all, good, bad or indifferent. We have within us a power so magnificent just waiting to be tapped. It is like a parent who has left his child a legacy, a throne to which he is the rightful heir, yet we leave the throne empty.

Once you do decide to take your rightful place as sovereign and choose to live life this way, be aware that your mind, ego and personalities are not going to give up without a fight. This is because they have had the run of you for so long and they will gradually feel that their dominion over you is slipping. It is akin to you having relinquished control of your life to a parent or a partner and now, all of a sudden, you decide to take back the reins of your life. They are not going to give up control without a fight.

Do not be alarmed. Stay the course, because the benefits are nothing short of awesome. When the mind rebels, and rebel it will, think of it like an unruly child. You obviously do not let it have its way; you guide it and if necessary, are forceful with it. Otherwise it will run amuck and ruin the peace in your household. Do we let the child run the household? Who is the parent? It is the same with the mind. You have to be in control. You have to be the master.

The mind runs in grooves. Just like the old phonograph record. It plays the same tune over and over. To the mind everything is the same, even when it’s not. Like the phonograph record or the CD, we play the same old actions and reactions in the same old groove. The challenge is to jolt our minds and shake ourselves out of the groove. So, if you’ve had a bad experience, the mind will have made the decision: I will not do this again, even though it may be a different situation; to the mind it is the same. I know people who as youngsters were involved in car accidents, ergo the decision was made that cars are dangerous, to the point that they would not drive. With others, dogs, was the issue. They were attacked as youths and consequently made the all-encompassing decision that all dogs are vicious. What is it for you?

Life is about being bold and adventurous. So what if you’ve had a bad experience, so what if you failed, no big deal, so what if you go karaoke and mess up the song. Sing another one; don’t just sing the same old tune. You may discover a hidden talent singing in a different key. If you are not happy with your lot in life, it’s up to you to change it. Get out of the groove, even if it takes scratching the CD. You cannot make a different cake using the same old ingredients.

I truly believe that we must arrive at the point where we symbolically nail our mind, personality and ego to the cross, and say NO MORE! This is when the true Self begins to enter into maturity and realizes Its true role: That of Master, Master of Its thoughts and architect and victor of circumstances, not a victim and certainly