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    The Foolish Dictionary An exhausting work of reference to un-certain English words, their origin, meaning, legitimate and illegitimate use, confused by a few pictures [not included]
    The Foolish Dictionary An exhausting work of reference to un-certain English words, their origin, meaning, legitimate and illegitimate use, confused by a few pictures [not included]
    The Foolish Dictionary An exhausting work of reference to un-certain English words, their origin, meaning, legitimate and illegitimate use, confused by a few pictures [not included]
    Ebook154 pages52 minutes

    The Foolish Dictionary An exhausting work of reference to un-certain English words, their origin, meaning, legitimate and illegitimate use, confused by a few pictures [not included]

    By Gideon Wurdz

    3.5/5

    ()

    Read preview
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherArchive Classics
    Release dateNov 17, 1994
    The Foolish Dictionary An exhausting work of reference to un-certain English words, their origin, meaning, legitimate and illegitimate use, confused by a few pictures [not included]

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    Reviews for The Foolish Dictionary An exhausting work of reference to un-certain English words, their origin, meaning, legitimate and illegitimate use, confused by a few pictures [not included]

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    • 4/5
      In the same vein as Ambrose Bierce’s Devil’s Dictionary and other humorous compilations, Gideon Wurdz’s Foolish Dictionary is collection of witty definitions and word origins for the masses. Gideon Wurdz (read as “giddy on words”) is the psuedonym of Charles Wayland Towne, who wrote a few others like this, including Foolish Finance and Foolish Etiquette. His quick quips are pretty lame as far as modern humor goes, but many of the entries are good for a chuckle or two even if his faux etymologies are a bit strained. Of greater interest with this book was the experience of reading a volume that was over 100 years old and to see the marginalia and the illustrations of the day.Here are a few excerpts from the dictionary for your perusal:•Diary: An honest autobiography; makes for a good keepsake but a bad give-away•Hotel: A place where a quest gives up good dollars for bad quarters•Sailor: A man who makes his living on water but doesn’t touch it once on shore•Tips: Wages we pay other people’s hired helpIncluded at the end are small pieces on the postal service, Greek mythology, and jabs at American holidays. It’s a quick book to rifle through and add a bit of old-timey lightness to your day. As an added bonus, it’s in the public domain so you can get it for free. If you’ve got a bit of time and a nostalgic bent, pick it up and have a good time.

    Book preview

    The Foolish Dictionary An exhausting work of reference to un-certain English words, their origin, meaning, legitimate and illegitimate use, confused by a few pictures [not included] - Gideon Wurdz

    The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Foolish Dictionary, by Gideon Wurdz

    This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

    almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or

    re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

    with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

    Title: The Foolish Dictionary

    Author: Gideon Wurdz

    Illustrator: Wallace Goldsmith

    Release Date: April 1, 2007 [EBook #1989]

    Language: English

    *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FOOLISH DICTIONARY ***

    Produced by David Garcia, Michelle Croyle, Jeannie Howse

    and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at

    http://www.pgdp.net

    Transcriber's Note:

    Inconsistent hyphenation in the original document has been preserved.

    What seems like obvious typographical errors have been corrected in this text. For a complete list, please see the end of this document.

    This book was not paginated in the original.

    GIDEON WURDZ.

    The

    FOOLISH

    DICTIONARY

    An exhausting work of reference

    to un-certain English words, their

    origin, meaning, legitimate

    and illegitimate use,

    confused by

    A FEW PICTURES

    By

    WALLACE GOLDSMITH

    Executed by

    GIDEON WURDZ

    Master of Pholly, Doctor of Loquacious

    Lunacy, Fellow of the Royal

    Gibe Society, etc., etc.

    Cover designed by

    E.B. BIRD

    JOHN. W. LUCE AND COMPANY

    BOSTON        MDCCCCIV

    Copyright, 1904, by

    The

    Robinson, Luce Company

    Boston, Mass., U.S.A.

    2nd Edition August, 1904.

    To

    MY DOG,

    Who first heard these lines

    And didn't run away

    MAD,

    I Reverently Dedicate

    This Tome

    A Fool may give a Wise Man counsel.

    Preface.

    In this age of the arduous pursuit of peace, prosperity and pleasure, the smallest contribution to the gaiety, if not to the wisdom, of nations can scarcely be unwelcome. With this in mind, the author has prepared The Foolish Dictionary, not in serious emulation of the worthier—and wordier—works of Webster and Worcester, but rather in the playful spirit of the parodist, who would gladly direct the faint rays from his flickering candle of fun to the shrine of their great memories.

    With half a million English words to choose from, modesty has been the watchword, and the author has confined himself to the treatment of only about half a thousand. How wise, flippant, sober or stupid, this treatment has been, it is for the reader alone to judge. However, if from epigram, derivative or pure absurdity, there be born a single laugh between the lids, the laborer will accredit himself worthy of his hire.

    In further explanation it should be said that some slight deference has been made to other wits, and the definitions include a few quotations from the great minds of the past and present. As for the rest, the jury will please acknowledge a plea of guilty from

    Gideon Wurdz.

    ABBREVIATIONS.

    It's a long lane that has no ashbarrel.

    Distilled waters run deep.

    ABSINTHE From two Latin words, ad, and sinistrum, meaning to the bad. If in doubt, try one. (Old adage, Absinthe makes the jag last longer).

    ABSTINENCE

    From the Persian ab, water, and stein, or tankard. Hence, water-tankard, or water wagon.

    ACCESSION A beheading process by which you may either win or lose a political job. Old spelling, Axe-session.

    ACCIDENT A condition of affairs in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body better.

    ADAMANT From Adam's Aunt, reputed to be a hard character. Hence, anything tough, or hard.

    ADORE From add, annex, and ore, meaning wealth. Example, foreign nobles who marry American heiresses adore them.

    ADVICE A commodity peddled by your lawyer and given away by your mother-in-law, but impossible to dispose of yourself. Famous as the one thing which it is More blessed to give than receive. GOOD ADVICE Something old men give young men when they can no longer give them a bad example.

    ADVERSITY A bottomless lake, surrounded by near-sighted friends.

    AFFINITY Complimentary term for your husband or your wife. Sometimes a synonym for Your finish.

    AFTERTHOUGHT A tardy sense of prudence that prompts one to try to shut his mouth about the time he has put his foot in it.

    AGE Something to brag about in your wine-cellar and forget in a birth-day book The boast of an old vintage, the bug a boo of an old maid.

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