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    Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, June 22nd, 1895
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, June 22nd, 1895
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, June 22nd, 1895
    Ebook91 pages43 minutes

    Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, June 22nd, 1895

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    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherArchive Classics
    Release dateNov 26, 2013
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, June 22nd, 1895

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      Book preview

      Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, June 22nd, 1895 - Archive Classics

      The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108,

      June 22nd, 1895, by Various

      This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

      almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or

      re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

      with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

      Title: Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, June 22nd, 1895

      Author: Various

      Release Date: May 18, 2013 [EBook #42734]

      Language: English

      *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH ***

      Produced by Malcolm Farmer, Lesley Halamek and the Online

      Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net

      PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

      VOL. 108. June 22, 1895.

      edited by Sir Francis Burnand

      ROUNDABOUT READINGS.

      It has been noticed by philosophers that a mere name will often lead a man to his ruin. Why, for example, was John Darley fined twenty shillings and costs at the Tynemouth Petty Sessions? He met a boiler-smith, Richard Rothwell, riding on a bicycle. Thereupon, without any apparent reason, he used abusive language, bashed the unoffending boiler-smith on the nose, brandished a knife, and shouted out, Come on!—I'm Johnny Darley, from Byker. There you have it. Residing, as he did, in a perpetual comparative, he naturally despised and loathed the positive byke. Hence his violent assault on its rider.

      I observe, with deep regret, that Professor Lloyd, of Southport, has been fined for trespassing on a railway bridge at Preston. The Professor did not want to stay there. All he wished to do, and all that he actually did, was to dive off into the water below. He is an aquatic Professor, and informed the Bench that he was obliged to do these things to keep up his reputation.

      I'll tell you a tale of Professor Lloyd,

      Who dived off a bridge at Preston—

      An act that the magistrates much annoyed,

      Though he kept both his coat and vest on.

      They said "You mustn't repeat this joke,

      Professor, or else you'll rue it."

      But Lloyd, the Professor, he up and spoke,

      And said, "I'm obliged to do it.

      Up on the bridge I stand for awhile,

      I stand till I fairly shiver.

      Then down I go—it seems like a mile—

      And I plunge in the bubbling river.

      I hope your worships won't queer my pitch,

      For I'm sorry to give you trouble

      In maintaining a reputation which

      Is so closely combined with bubble."

      I wish I had been in Hawick lately. Ever since I first learnt the rudiments of the English language I have been haunted by a desire to know how a man looked and acted when he bussed the Standard. They've done that at Hawick in connection, as I read, with the celebration of the ancient custom of the Common Riding. Later on "the local slogan 'Teribus' was sung with great vigour." There is something crushing, scattering, and battle-heralding about the mere sound of that fearful word.

      J. B., who describes himself as A Residenter in Oswald Road, writes to The Scotsman to complain of the flimsy material used in the construction of the lamp-posts near his dwelling. The other day a milk-van ran away—at least, the horse drawing it did. One would think, says J. B., the progress of such a small vehicle would have been arrested by coming into collision with one lamp-post, but four posts were destroyed by the van. On examination it is found that the foundation of a street lamp-post only goes three inches into the stone below it. With such a short hold the lamp-post is easily toppled over. Of course it is. To fix lamp-posts so inadequately gives a direct encouragement to milk-vans to

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