Dead Rita's Wisdom: Simple Words To Help You Live An Extraordinary Life

By Victoria Trabosh

The wisdom that comes from the people and stories of our lives is the greatest wisdom we will ever know. Dead Rita’s Wisdom is a compilation of sayings and the associated stories that always go to a deeper wisdom, a universal wisdom.
Dead Rita is Victoria Trabosh’s dearly beloved, but dead, mother. These stories are told with humor, warmth, reverence and truth. Part biography, part memoir, she brings Rita alive in this profound and inspiring tribute.
This book isn’t only about women or mothers. It’s about the people in our lives who support us and sustain us. Throughout this book you’ll come to recognize the wisdom and insights shared by those in your own life, living or dead. And when you do, you’ll likely hear them in the voice of the person from whom you learned them. Not only can you be taught by these moments, you can be comforted to remember the one who had the kindness and heart to share them.
The book is divided into five sections: Adversity, Honesty, Courage, Communication and Perseverance. The chapters within each section highlight the pearls of wisdom that come from the most innocent of remarks: both positively and negatively delivered. At the end of the short and engaging chapters is a blank page titled: Your Own Wisdom. A place for you to enter your own wisdom that comes to mind as you read these simple but memorable stories. This book’s purpose is to challenge you to consider your wisdom and its roots.
Additionally, 15% of the proceeds from the sale of each book will be given to the Itafari Foundation, a foundation co-founded by Victoria to support the people of Rwanda. Victoria began traveling to Rwanda in 2005 after meeting a woman named Rita (from Rwanda) who asked her to come to her country and speak about hope.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Nov 22, 2011
• ISBN: 9780983100829

Book preview

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Introduction

WHAT SUSTAINS US? WHAT VOICE reassures us we are capable of ac-complishing the impossible? What messages have we received that we will remember all of our lives?

For me, it has often been the great yet simple wisdom of my mother, Rita Clark Hoering. Her love was a guiding force in my life until she died in my arms on October 3, 1998.

She was sixty-five years old and, by my estimation, died twenty years too soon. You see, there was one thing I had always known for certain: That my mother and I would grow old together. That I would care for her when she needed me. That we would be together for a very long time.

Some desires are for material or selfish things. But my intention was noble. This was about love. But growing old together was not meant to be. And yet I was so sure it should have been the way I saw it!

But Rita would have said, You’re wrong, Vic! In the moment that she died, I realized one of the greatest lessons of my life: that I don’t know anything.

Her death took time. Breast cancer first struck in 1996. She re-covered, and then, in July 1997, was diagnosed with lung cancer.

Sixteen months, all told—the most heartbreaking and beauti-ful period of my life with my mother. While it was difficult to watch her body fade, her spirit remained gloriously intact. And our time together was magical—the best and the saddest of times. We were never as present with one another as in those final days.

It wasn’t until the moments after her death that I realized my best friend was gone forever.

But her loving wisdom remained. She passed it on to me through-out the years of our time together in word and in action, and the wis-dom lives on. I’ve shared much of it over the years with friends and strangers who have been cheered, comforted, and encouraged. In passing on that legacy, I’ve been comforted and strengthened as well.

As you might imagine, after my mother passed, she was often on my mind—and her wisdom was often on my lips. I’d find ways to bring any conversation around to her. My husband John, who’d lived through so much of it at my side, would patiently allow me to go on.

In time, though, he began to call me on it. I’d bring up something about Mom when talking with a stranger, and eventually I’d mention she had died. John would look at me quizzically, with great love and humor, and exclaim, Your mother’s dead?!

To which I’d respond, with equal humor, You didn’t know?

So—with tremendous affection and love—I began to refer to her as Dead Rita. This woman who was dearest mother, greatest friend, most trusted confidante, partner in crime, shopping buddy, role model—and so much more.

She’d have loved it. That’s the kind of woman she was. And it was the kind of humor we often shared, especially in those final months together.

Of course, I miss her. But what sustains me, and what has helped and healed others over the years, is what I’ve often called Dead Rita’s Wisdom.

Dead Rita’s Wisdom has been heard over the ages, through many voices. Yet, because Rita herself was unique, as we all are, her wis-dom was her own. Rita’s words can support, heal, and encourage you, as all true wisdom does.

This book isn’t about women or mothers. It’s about the people in our lives who support us and sustain us. Throughout this book you’ll come to recognize the wisdom and insights shared by those in your own life, living or dead. And when you do, you’ll likely hear them in the voice of the person from whom you learned them. Not only can you be taught by these moments, you can be comforted to remem-ber the one who had the kindness and heart to share them.

My life is rich and full. I lack for nothing of importance. But I miss Rita in such a way…Sometimes, when I see older mothers and daughters together, I wonder why I’ll never have that chance, the op-portunity to be with her here, for a longer time on earth.

And then a little of her wisdom comes to mind: I would never trade the kind of love I experienced even if I could have avoided the level of loss I’ve felt.

Not all mothers are like Dead Rita. Rita didn’t have a mother like Rita! But she lives on in this unabashed tribute. When I think of the words in this book, I hear her voice.

Mom, I dedicate this book to you.

Adversity

Purple Lips Is Here

Dead Rita’s Wisdom: Our greatest burdens can become our greatest teachers. There are moments that change us