Calling In

Written by Loretta J Ross

Narrated by Loretta J Ross

From a pioneering Black feminist and MacArthur “Genius” Fellow, this urgent and exhilarating memoir-manifesto-handbook provides bold, practical new ways to transform conflicts into connections, even with those we’re tempted to walk away from.

In 1979, Loretta Ross was a single mother in Washington who’d had to drop out of Howard University. She was working at the DC Rape Crisis Center when the organization got a letter from a man in prison saying he wanted to learn how to not be a rapist anymore. At first, she was furious. As a survivor of sexual violence, she wanted to write back pouring out her rage. Instead, she made a different choice, a choice to reject the response her trauma was pushing her towards. This choice would set her on the path towards developing a framework that would come to guide her whole career: Rather than calling people out, try to call even your unlikeliest allies in. Hold them accountable—but with love.

Calling In is at once a handbook, a manifesto, and a memoir—because the power of Loretta Ross’s message comes from who she is and what she’s lived through. She’s a Black woman who’s deprogrammed white supremacists, and a survivor who’s taught convicted rapists the principles of feminism. With stories from her five remarkable decades in activism, she vividly illustrates why calling people in—inviting them into conversation instead of conflict and focusing on your shared values over a desire for punishment—is the more strategic choice if you want to make real change. And she shows you how to do so, whether in the workplace, on a college campus, or in your living room.

Courageous, awe-inspiring, and blisteringly authentic, Calling In is a “masterclass in constructive confrontation” (Adam Grant) and a practical new solution from one of our country’s most extraordinary change-makers—one anyone can learn to use to transform frustrating and divisive conflicts that stand in the way of real connection with the people in your life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio
• Release date: Feb 4, 2025
• ISBN: 9781797186696

Loretta J Ross

Loretta J. Ross is an activist, professor, and public intellectual. In her five decades in the human rights movement, she’s deprogramed white supremacists, taught convicted rapists the principles of feminism, and co-organized the second largest march on Washington (surpassed only by the 2017 Women’s March). The founder of the National Center for Human Rights Education and a cofounder of the SisterSong Women of Color Reproductive Justice Collective, her many accolades and honors include a 2022 MacArthur Fellowship and a 2024 induction into the National Women’s Hall of Fame. Today, Ross is an associate professor at Smith College in Northampton, Massachusetts, and the founder of LoRossta Consulting, with which she runs “Calling In” training sessions online and for organizations around the country.

Reviews for Calling In

[Michelle Vande Hey · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Very interesting listen. Appreciate Loretta's view point and humility. Speaking from a place of "me too" not from a pedestal

[Jessica Cherrett · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

What a fantastic book. So many illuminating ideas and presented by someone with brutal honesty and vulnerability but also with humour, and grace. Please read this book.

[Jeanette Fritsche · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Loretta Ross is hands down a Phenomenal Woman, personified. She is sounding the cause for pause when it comes to a core issue in (particularly)modern society: calling out/cancel culture. That MO clearly isn't working as well as we're taught to think it will- so instead of continuing down this unsatisfactory path, through the telling of her lived experiences, she offers a kind of miracle, in the form of perception(s) shift. Her ideas are truly inspiring. I admire her courage, light and love, among other things,and I recommend this book to anyone. We all can benefit.

[Lizz E · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Really appreciated this book — so timely! Loretta’s generosity and thoughtfulness in sharing her experiences, missteps, and hard earned wisdom is truly a salve for these divisive times, and an instruction manual on how to show up as a better person while advocating for a better world.

[MxDM Divine · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Overall I found this book inspirational and thought provoking. I do crisis work, consent education and also facilitate transformative justice groups. The topics in this book are useful for each.