The Last Testament: A Memoir

Written by God and David Javerbaum

Narrated by David Javerbaum

***NOW A MAJOR BROADWAY SHOW STARRING JIM PARSONS (THE BIG BANG THEORY) AND DIRECTED BY JOE MANTELLO (WICKED)***

Over the course of his long and distinguished career, God has literally seen it all. And not just seen. In fact, the multitalented deity has played a pivotal role in many major events, including the Creation of the universe, the entirety of world history, and the successful transitioning of American Idol into the post–Simon Cowell era. Sometimes preachy, sometimes holier-than-thou, but always lively, The Last Testament is the ultimate celebrity autobiography.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio
• Release date: Nov 1, 2011
• ISBN: 9781442349124

God

God has been grabbing headlines ever since first creating the universe. Indeed, the multi-talented deity has been involved in the development of every single thing that has ever happened, including the Crusades, plate tectonics, and Seinfeld. His previous serious works as an author, The Old Testament, The New Testament, and The Koran, have sold an impressive 5 billion copies, with the first two in particular coming to be collectively regarded as something of a bible of their field.

Reviews for The Last Testament

[razinha-1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Funny and quite creative...

...but a little long.

[jackieblem · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

You know about God's credentials, so I'll just tell you about David Javerbaum. He has a masters degree in irreverence after being a head writer and executive producer for The Daily Show, the co-author of "America, The Book" and "Earth: The Book" as well as being the lone author of "What to Expect When You Are Expected". He also wrote the songs for "A Colbert Christmas" and the opening number for the 2011 Tony Awards, "Broadway, It's Not Just for Gays Anymore" performed by Neil Patrick Harris. Now that you know all that, just imagine what he's done with The Bible and The Koran, among other religious books, scrolls, teachings, rumors and gossip.With the help of Javerbaum, we get to meet the "real" God, at home with His family (He's got a wife, and three kids, one of which you probably have heard about), the behind the scenes from everything from the creation of the world to the truth about who got on the ark and why, to the processing of prayers, to His numerous admitted infidelities. He's a big fan of the Mayan culture, so expect some major doings leading up to 12-22-12 (there is a day to day listing beginning on 1-1-12), with the finale being determined with how well this new book of His sells. This book even has recipes in it (because His publisher told Him cookbooks are hot right now), though some of the ingredients will be a bit of a challenge to find (but then, so are Martha Stewart's).This is a fun, occasionally bawdy, irreverent (which would be spelled in neon capital letters with roving search lights flashing around it if only my computer was able to do so), and a perfect addition to any Stewart/Colbert/Comedy Central fans coffee table, bureau stack, or "reading room" basket.

[dearheart_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Tongue in cheek about God giving some personal background and highlights to his best seller, The Bible with added sections on a number of different topics. If you don't have a sense of humor or don't believe God has a sense of humor, this is the last book you'll want to pick up.The sections are broken down into small (often 1 line) numbered paragraphs, apparently so that you can refer to "God's word" in this book like you were accessing the Bible. There's an entire section on celebrities and because God is all-seeing , "God" saw all and decides to share it with us. A number of celebrities and their families might not be too thrilled, fiction or not.Some of it is very funny, much of it is amusing, but some of it just runs on and on. Reading this cover to cover quickly got old. It actually reads better if you break it up and read sections of it at a time. Now that I think about it's actually a good book to keep in the bathroom.The medium for the book doesn't feel right, at least as the cover-to-cover read. I could easily see this material as a series for a stand-up comic.I'd downloaded the first few chapters that were available free for the Kindle prior to the release of the book and loved it. Again, stick to reading shorter amounts at a time if you get the book or you are bound to be disappointed after such a great start.

[meggyweg · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I confess I couldn't finish this. I'm a follower of the Tweet of God and I think it's hilarious, but it's best done in small doses -- after a hundred pages or so, the humor in this book palled and I got bored.

[enewt823 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This is a hilarious book. God tells us the real reasons behind all the best stories in the Holy Bible. Javerbaum writes God in such a way that if you are not easily offended, you will be awesomely amused. At times however, it is slightly too offensive, even for those of us with huge funny bones. I'd recommend to forgiving Christians, atheists who wonder, and anyone who enjoys a quick laugh (although not too quick, the book is 400 pages long).

[toobusyreading · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

First of all, if you are religious and think it is sacrilegious to poke fun at your religion, and especially at the Bible, stay far away from this book. If you are not religious but think it's wrong to poke fun at religions, stay away, too. If you don't like reading profanity, this isn't a book you'll like.Now that the people who definitely won't like this book have been winnowed out, let's move one. For all other readers, this may or may not be a book for you. Vague, huh?I laughed out loud several times when I started this book, and annoyed my spouse by reading snippets of it to him. Apparently, God isn't the nice, benevolent guy or the vengeful god (depending on your version) that we have come to know and love. He is a persnickety, ornery prankster who does make mistakes. At least according to this, his last testament.The problem with the book is threefold. It got old fast, like hearing the same knock-knock joke too many times in a row. And some of it seemed mean-spirited. Some of the profanity was a bit too much for my usually tolerant mind. I have to admit that I haven't finished the book. I will probably pick it up again and read a few pages now and then. For me, it isn't a book to be read straight through, just too much of something that can be good in small doses.

[bragan_8 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

God, eager to repeat the bestseller status of his previous books, has released this new volume in which he shares behind-the-scenes information about familiar Bible stories, dishes up celebrity gossip, offers his opinions on human history, corrects a few misconceptions about his earlier work, and reveals his plans for the upcoming apocalypse (although the book must have sold well enough for him to decide to delay it so he could write a sequel, since it was originally scheduled for 2012). Among other interesting tidbits, we're presented with the never-before-told truth about Adam and Steve, given an explanation for where God's been lately (he was off having a "midternity crisis"), and told who God's favorite sports teams are.The humor here ranges from the mildly silly to the bitingly satiric. Which is perhaps unsurprising, as the author -- uh, co-author -- David Javerbaum was once the head writer for The Daily Show, and is thus a guy who clearly knows his satire. Needless to say, those who lack a sense of humor about religion or a tolerance for blasphemy are bound to disapprove, but atheistic me thought it was pretty darned funny.