This Is How It Always Is: A Novel

Written by Laurie Frankel

Narrated by Gabra Zackman

The Reese Witherspoon x Hello Sunshine Book Club Pick

*Named one of the top 10 books of 2017 by People Magazine*

“It made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me think.” —Liane Moriarty, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Big Little Lies

This is how a family keeps a secret…and how that secret ends up keeping them.

This is how a family lives happily ever after…until happily ever after becomes complicated.

This is how children change…and then change the world.

This is Claude. He’s five years old, the youngest of five brothers, and loves peanut butter sandwiches. He also loves wearing a dress, and dreams of being a princess.

When he grows up, Claude says, he wants to be a girl.

Rosie and Penn want Claude to be whoever Claude wants to be. They’re just not sure they’re ready to share that with the world. Soon the entire family is keeping Claude’s secret. Until one day it explodes.

Laurie Frankel's This Is How It Always Is is a novel about revelations, transformations, fairy tales, and family. And it’s about the ways this is how it always is: Change is always hard and miraculous and hard again, parenting is always a leap into the unknown with crossed fingers and full hearts, children grow but not always according to plan. And families with secrets don’t get to keep them forever.

"The audiobook will undoubtedly steal hearts" - AudioFile

• Language: English
• Publisher: Macmillan Audio
• Release date: Jan 24, 2017
• ISBN: 9781427282538

Laurie Frankel

Laurie Frankel writes novels (reads novels, teaches other people to write novels, raises a small person who reads and might someday write novels) in Seattle, Washington. She and her husband and daughter live on a nearly vertical hill from which Laurie can watch three different bridges when she's staring out her windows between words. Laurie's earlier novels are The Atlas of Love and Goodbye For Now. This Is How It Always Is is her third novel.

Reviews for This Is How It Always Is

[Michelle McKenzie · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is essential reading. Heartbreaking. Sweet. Smart. Well written. Very fine storytelling on a very important topic.

[Jacque Parks · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I really really liked this book but also felt it was a bit far fetched in ways. Claude/Poppy had some vocabulary I don’t think a child their age would have. It’s not only the vocabulary, but some of the meaning and intent behind it. It seems like an ideal story in many ways for a child/family going through what they did, but I really don’t think it would have panned out that way- unfortunately. But I like the positivity and intent for future generations to understand that the only reason transgender is “weird” is because of poor cultural expectations that need to change.

[Celina Register · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is so well written, I felt like I was part of this story

[Stacy Zocher · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This was a beautiful story-every parent should read this book.

[Damiano Paardekooper · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Amazing! This narrative gives a personal and multiperspective view of the transition grom Claude to Poppy. From the first page the grandeur of a fairy tale gets intermingled with sharp and cruel realism.


10/10 would recommend reading this book!

[Nicole · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

My favorite book of 2019. I couldn’t put it down.

[Esther Edoho · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

What a fantastic moving book. I loved it so much.

[Pei · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I really adored this book. The topics covered are unconventional and yet relevant in this day and age. It will challenge you to re-think gender, right vs wrong and the importance of having the courage to just be your true-self in a world where everything seems so pre-defined. Wonderfully written with witty and touching characters.

[Danica Mitchell · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Beautifully written and such a wonderful story. I loved it a lot more than I thought I would. One of the best books I have "read". The narrorator was wonderful as well.

[Paula · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

WELL WRITTEN AND INSIGHTFUL!!! I LEARNED MORE THAN I EXPECTED

[Mitzi Chafetz · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Great riveting feel good story with humor, struggles, kindness, transformations and lots of love.

[Tally Hunt · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

What a great story about raising children & overcoming obstacles

[todd reeves · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A perfect read on a topic that is so relevant right now. A beautiful insight into a topic so many of us really know nothing about.

[Trina Hoffarth · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This book takes one into the spiritual to physical to mental gymnastics of gender identity. I learned much more than I expected. Great read for those with young ones who are sorting out their gender journey.

[Theresia Potter · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

it is a very interesting book. I enjoyed listening it

[Nancy Siegel · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

This should have been so much better…how about some actual therapy for Poppy. I don’t know, perhaps reading this in 2023 makes a difference. 2017 seems like a million years ago in terms of our society today

[Elena Shurshilova · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A wonderful audiobook. The subject of transgender was uniquely presented and it unfolded a wonderful new perspective on what it means to be a person first and gender as being one detail of being human.

[Dayna Bennett · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

What an incredibly well told, beautiful, and complex story. The complicated subject is tackled with so much heart and honesty, and there is also humor and a fairy tale. I loved this book. I don’t love Gabra Zackman’s sometimes breathy narration but story was enough to more than make up for it.

[Stephanie Arnow · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

It’s the best book.
Everyone should listen to this story with an open heart.

[cathy · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Wow! What beautiful writing about a sensitive topic with such a compassionate perspective. One of my favorites!!

[Ann Borysowski · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I’ve been reading and listening to a lot of highly recommended books this year, but this one stands alone. So thought provoking, and beautiful and funny. I laughed out loud so many times because of the boys’ antics, but felt so strongly for Claude/Poppy. I really enjoyed this book and I’m sad it’s over.

[Wendy Morison · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Everyone should read this book! What a clever way to raise the real complexity of gender identity. It opened my eyes. I must mention though that I almost didn't listen to the audio book because the narrator - who did an excellent job - has a tendency to whistle her 's's. Unfortunately, I found this ear piercing and disturbing. I wonder if some sound adjustments could be made in production.

[Courtney Canepa · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Better than I anticipated, enlightening and heartwarming. Highly recommend

[Linda Stocking · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The power of parenting. The power of remembering why you loved that man who fathered those exceptionally awsome children of yours

[Angie · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The story, the authors style, and the narration is spectacularly wonderful! I laughed, I cried, I felt like I was there in the story. I wish I had listened to it less often bc I finished it!

[jess · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Wow, what a beautifully written book that really touches the soul. To learn what kids and parents go through when they're child 'isn't how it always is' and the rollercoaster of emotions that tags along with social constructs is such an eye opener. I really enjoyed this book.

[Brooke Mitchell · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is a Great Book! Definitely made on my top 3 best book list.

[Jessica Schantz · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Easy to follow and wonderful way to share a story about having a child who is or you think may be struggling with Gender Identity. My mom, my mother in law and myself all loved this book!

[Rachel Schultz Dickerson · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Loved it. Opened my eyes to what families go through. Sad and seeet

[McKinley Merchant · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A must read! Wonderful as always, please read this book