Once Upon a Time, Bitches: Design Your Fairytale Life, Control Your Destiny, and Become the Hero in Your Story

Written by Branden LaNette

Narrated by Branden LaNette

Hi, I’m Branden. That is me on the cover. Yes, I have a boy’s name, a Mom bod, and the tattoos are not photoshopped. Once upon a time I realized we all have a story, we all have a struggle and happiness is relative. I am not cynical or hardened, I am just stating the facts. Here’s the deal:

Prince Charming doesn’t exist. Fairy Godmother is drunk. Glass slippers don’t come 2 day prime shipping from Amazon.  

There is no magic fairytale, but if YOU work at it enough you can come pretty close creating your version with a happy ending. The best part is, in life you can continue to make edits until that sh*t reads exactly how you want it to. You may not agree with everything I say in this book but the most important takeaway is that YOU have to be your own f*cking hero. No more damsel locked in a tower b.s. 

That ends now. Join me as I take you through my 7 Magical Maxims for creating a fairytale life. (I know what you are thinking: Branden, no one gets a fairytale life.) Can you stop being so damn cynical for two seconds and just go with this? Good. Here they are: 

#1 Realize that no one is coming to save you. You have to save yourself.

#2: Accept total responsibility for every damn aspect of your life.

#3: Stop comparing yourself to others and just f*cking be you.

#4: Dream dreams that are so big they make people doubt you.

#5: Your life is the sum of your choices.Choose well.

#6: Eliminate everything evil and negative from your kingdom.

#7: Love yourself so hard you have an abundance to share with others.

Is it possible to design a fairytale life? Control your destiny? Be the hero in your story? I believe you can and that’s why I wrote this book. I am going to make you a little uncomfortable. Back out now if you aren't ready. S**t is about to get real bitches…

• Language: English
• Publisher: Success In 100 Pages
• Release date: Nov 18, 2019
• ISBN: 9781947814882

Reviews for Once Upon a Time, Bitches

[Kari Powell · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Fucking amazing! Beautifully written and recorded. Can't wait to start book 2.

[jas · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Great book! I’ve been reading a lot of self-help books and a lot of them are pretty much saying the same thing but this time it felt like a friend was telling me to get my shit together and I really appreciate that

[Shannon Hunter · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Short, to the point and beautifully vulgar. If you don't care for "cuss words" find a new book. If you embrace all the colorful words, this one is for you. I love her honesty and not just willingness, but insistance on taking responsibility for her life choices. It all comes back to choices and we need to own the good and bad choices we've made. As she says (paraphrasing here), be grateful for the good and the bad. No matter how bad it is, it could always be worse. For bad shit to happen, you have to be alive. And alive is always good. Always. Learn about her 7 maxims (rules) for getting your poop in a group. I dont often take notes when listening to a book but with this one I did. Excellent way to start 2020!

[Mellissa Scott · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Really enjoyed listening to this audio book. I was hook on every words. I am inspired, and feel that I have found a big sister motivator in you.

A million thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!