The Innocents Abroad

Written by Mark Twain

Narrated by Grover Gardner

In June 1867, Mark Twain set out for Europe and the Holy Land on the paddle steamer Quaker City. His enduring, no-nonsense guide for the first-time traveler also served as an antidote to the insufferably romantic travel books of the period.“Who could read the programme for the excursion without longing to make one of the party?”So Mark Twain acclaims his voyage from New York City to Europe and the Holy Land. His adventures produced The Innocents Abroad, a book so funny and provocative it made him an international star for the rest of his life. He was making his first responses to the Old World—to Paris, Milan, Florence, Venice, Pompeii, Constantinople, Sebastopol, Balaklava, Damascus, Jerusalem, Nazareth, and Bethlehem. For the first time he was seeing the great paintings and sculptures of the Old Masters. He responded with wonder and amazement but also with exasperation, irritation, and disbelief. Above all he displayed the great energy of his humor, more explosive for us now than for his beguiled contemporaries.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Blackstone Audio
• Release date: Aug 24, 2011
• ISBN: 9781441791412

Mark Twain

Frederick Anderson, Lin Salamo, and Bernard L. Stein are members of the Mark Twain Project of The Bancroft Library at the University of California, Berkeley.

Reviews for The Innocents Abroad

[jeffome · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Hallelujah!!! I finally finished this book!!! I have been reading this book for over 4 months!!! That is not a good way to start off a review, but it is, in fact, the truth! So.....this was more often than not....TEDIOUS!!!! And I never let a book defeat me (i know...life is too short and blah, blah, blah....) But i was so hopeful.....and ultimately so disappointed....Some plusses - a few: I did on occasion pause to look something up about some place or thing he described that seemed pretty interesting that i had never heard of.....Gibraltar, for example....and i appreciated the nudge Twain gave me to expand my horizons a bit.There is no question he has a subtle glib sense of humor that occasionally made me laugh.I enjoyed some of the descriptions of the people and places he described if it was brief and to the point.I guess that is all i can think of in the plus column....The negatives....a lot:I realized that the typical reader when this was published must have had an extraordinary general knowledge of the Bible and every story, character and locale mentioned. The trip through the Holy Land was ETERNAL with constant references to tiny moments in the Bible in certain places with specific characters that may have been interesting had i been familiar with all the intimate details....I was not!He was often not nice with regards to describing the cultures he encountered.....sometimes brutal....He did not appreciate Catholics much and he had a healthy disdain for Muslims for sure. I did not expect the callousness to be so intense so much of the time.This really was not a travel log....but more a book about Americans traveling to new places. And his traveling companions often had an even harsher disdain for much of what they saw, including a running joke about their constant efforts to deface precious monuments to gather souvenirs to take home...which is one thing.....but other than joke about them, he did nothing to dissuade them other than one instance near the end...He made constant negative comments about all guide books, guides, touristy gimmicks and every bit of infrastructure that allowed them to even take this journey.....He often glossed over places i had a mild interest in and went on and on and on about those that were not in my wheelhouse at all.He seemed to like very little of what he saw genuinely....surface-wise maybe....which makes for a long, long journey to read about!!!Final reflections:This is not all Mark Twain's fault....I bear much of the blame....i had a busy 4 months, with insufficient reading time available, and not all books do well with the 'page or 2 a day' reading style.....like this one. I am apparently unbelievably ignorant to the stories of the Bible. Europe and the Holy Lands in the late 1860s were dramatically different places then than they are today...so his negative impressions then vs. what i know today are very unfair to compare, but compare i did. I suppose if I were a bigger non-fiction reader, and cared enough to contemplate the dramatic changes in the world over the intervening time, this could be a fascinating window into that real flux of culture and history....but i read to be entertained....and this felt like work....no....it was work! Relieved, but by no means discouraged.....i will pick away at Twain's fiction, but i may leave his additional travel books for others to ponder.

[foggidawn · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

In the days when such a proceeding was a novelty, a ship full of tourists set out from New York. Their aim: to travel through Europe and the Middle East and see all the sights of cultural and historical interest. Young journalist Twain joins the party and proceeds to poke fun at the historic sites, the inhabitants of each locale visited, his fellow travelers, and, occasionally, himself. He is by turns ascerbic and sentimental, broad-minded and parochial. There’s plenty in the book to offend modern sensibilities, but I’m sure that was also true on the date of its publication. Apart from our narrator — Twain, or the persona he created for the purpose? I was never quite sure — there wasn’t much in the way of characters; apart from the ship’s itinerary, not much in the way of plot. I’m glad to have read this, but I’m quite sure I won’t read it again. I’d recommend this to Twain’s fans, and to those who enjoy reading travel books from days past.

[jerry.yoakum · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Sarcasm abounds in this travel text reaching laugh out loud levels of rudeness. Well worth the read. And a good reminder of how not to behave when abroad and after returning from a big trip.

[devil_llama · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Mark Twain's account of his journey on a cruise ship to the Holy Land, which created quite a few hard feelings at the time it was released. He gleefully skewers not only the crassness of the American tourists, but also finds little to like about the locals in the places he visits, creating a typical consternation among those who would be politically correct. A pleasant read, but not with quite as much of the satiric wit that characterized most of his later works.

[benjaminorbach · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Twain is brilliant with his descriptions of the Holy Land. He pulls no punches.

[Odisha Saree Store · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Simply love this book. Very good describing idea from the author of the book.

[dbsovereign · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Mark Twain is a funny man - especially when it comes to droll humor. He shows us what clowns we really are and how silly we can be when we are traveling. "The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. I speak now, of course, in the supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, and therefore is not already a consummate ass. If the case be otherwise, I beg your pardon and extend to him the cordial hand of fellowship and call him brother. I shall always delight to meet an ass after my own heart when I have finished my travels."

[quibee · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

This was an audio book which was extremely well-narrated by Grover Gardner.
I'm giving this two stars because it was Mark Twain and that did shine through from time to time, but on the whole I became tired of the slapstick and over-the-top mugging for the camera (so to speak). I also found the constant put-downs of Mediterranean people and people from the Middle East was certainly, of its time, but very in your face.
And yes, he pokes fun at his fellow Americans and pretentious tourists, but the constant put-downs of other people was not appealing.

[mbmackay · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I came across this book after researching Twain's quote about Michaelangelo (complaining that everything in Italy was designed, built, painted, sculpted or otherwise originated from Michaelangelo). I then found that the route taken by Twain on his travels in 1867 coincided with many of the destinations of my own travels this year, so I decided to read the whole book.And "whole book" is the nub of it - almost 700 pages long! While I skipped through some parts, I was taken in by the content and Twains playful sense of humour.I was surprised to find that Twain was only 32 when he made the trip (funded by a newspaper) and 34 when the book came out. This was very early in his career - he had only one other book published at this stage.But, in spite of youth, Twain writes with a confidence in his views that I found surprising, and refreshing. He lets rip into the church -for example, about how many pieces of the "true cross" are held as priceless relics in churches in Europe. While part of this is a Protestant versus Catholic thing, it stands out against the timidity of English writing in the Victorian era. Thomas Hardy gave up writing novels after the prudes savaged him for such misdemeanours as having a so-called fallen woman as a leading character.All in all, I found the book a very pleasant surprise and enjoyed plowing through (most of) the 696 pages.Read as ebook October 2015.

[richestgirls-3 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I could not stop reading! It is funny, satirical, outrageous, and highly enjoyable. It may have been written a long time ago, but it does not matter at all.

[anitatally · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

LOVE LOVE LOVE this book.

[debs4jc · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Hilarious account of Twain's 19th century excursion to parts of Europe, the Mediterranean region and the Holy Land. His purposes for this trip may have been noble, for as he says “Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things can not be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.” I'm not sure how charitable he became, with constant remarks like “In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.” However it is amusing to see how his remarkable wit makes quick work of the charlatans and dubious stories about holy relics that he encounters along the way. And he also pokes fun at himself and all fellow travelers, saying "the gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become, until he goes abroad." At the end, he has this to say "Human nature appears to be just the same, all over the world." I recommend this to anyone seeking a humorous escape, and it is especially appropriate for anyone on a trip.

[memccauley6 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Every time I read this book, I find another gem. Twain is the original king of snark and his observations of white middle-class American tourists are timeless and side-splittingly hilarious. The only noticeable differences between traveling now and Twain’s trip in the 1860s – the presence of automobiles and the availability of soap.

I will paraphrase some of the tidbits I found most memorable: We have seen about a keg of nails from the true cross, I am so glad Michelangelo is dead, Is… is he *dead*?, Jacksonville, Ferguson, the Sea of Galilee is ugly, these cathedrals without relics are nothing to me.

[kymmac · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Loved the sardonic asides, but the narrative dragged through Italy. Glad to have read it with bookies.

[quantum_flapdoodle · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Mark Twain's account of his journey on a cruise ship to the Holy Land, which created quite a few hard feelings at the time it was released. He gleefully skewers not only the crassness of the American tourists, but also finds little to like about the locals in the places he visits, creating a typical consternation among those who would be politically correct. A pleasant read, but not with quite as much of the satiric wit that characterized most of his later works.

[davidpwhelan_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The Innocents Abroad is not Mark Twain's best known book but it is one of my favorites, and I reread it every year or so. Twain's funny take on his fellow travelers and the sights they take in on the first ever pleasure cruise are priceless. While not for the faint of heart, Twain skewers a number of foreign cultures and religions as well as Americans traveling abroad in his typical, good humored way. His story telling comes through not only in describing what happened, but also in reflections on his own boyhood and other experiences unconnected to the voyage. As a relatively itinerant person myself, Twain's comments on getting outside one's own space always hit home:"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow - mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime." (p. 721)I have just finished it again, and am already looking forward to the next time.

[miked_181283 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Very enjoyable read! A travel guide to Europe and other locations I wish I had read before visiting some of the places Twain visited in 1867 (?). His descriptions of the towns, cathedrals, and neighborhoods of the cities in France and Italy are true even today and in more detail than the travel books we used. His comments are more clever, witty, and funny that the guides we used.

[crmass_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

An interesting and sometimes amusing account of Mark Twain's journey with other pilgrims to the Holy Land. A nice look back in time through the eyes of an American.

[ecbesa · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Written a generation ago but a showpiece of how to write a travel piece.

[janoorani24 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

The Innocents Abroad by Mark Twain (though written when he was apparently still primarily known as Samuel Clemens) is a travelogue of a trip to Europe and the Middle East in 1867. Clemens was sent on the trip as a reporter for the Daily Alta California and sent correspondence back to it and other newspapers throughout the trip and then compiled all of his writings into a book in 1869. The trip was billed as a “pleasure trip” to Europe and the Holy Land, and Henry Ward Beecher and General Sherman were among its original subscribers, though they didn’t actually go on the trip.Clemens tells the story of this expedition with a great deal of humor and this helped make the book seem very contemporary. I liked the descriptions of traveling through Europe the best, but really got bogged down towards the end of the book where Clemens’ descriptions of the Holy Land became too gloomy and monotonous. Since the primary purpose of the excursion seems to have been religious, the trip to the Holy Land was probably meant to be the highlight, but Clemens lost me with his excruciatingly detailed account of what they experienced there.Considering this was one of Clemens’ very early works (pre-Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn), I found his writing style to be very readable. He had a tongue-in-cheek attitude toward religion that I’m sure must have offended many of his readers, but it’s refreshing to think of how many readers probably weren’t offended by it. Given that it’s a book of its time, there is a lot of subtle and not-so-subtle racism and xenophobia, especially toward Arabs and Palestinians. This aspect of the book is why I’m only giving it 3½ stars.

[tadad_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Twain's travelogue of an expedition he organized to the Holy Land with a group of American tourists will provide hours of entertainment. He aims his wit at every single aspect of the journey, from the passengers (not excluding himself) to the natives of each country they pass through, skewering each ridiculous situation, or silly behavior he finds.It's interesting to follow the progress of his mind-set through the story. At the start, there is only the comedy of Americans who need to get over themselves and funny situations in foreign lands. As the book moves into the middle third, his humor turns to cynicism and even anger as he encounters those who prey upon the hopes and beliefs of people in order to make money. Finally, upon reaching their destination, he is able to see past these things and reaches a sort of respect and amazement for the history and faith that lies underneath.Definitely recommended.

[arelenriel · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This is one of Mark Twains best and funniest. It got a bit dry in spots though.

[nicholaspayne · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

In Twain's lifetime, this was his best selling book. It's not even close to being my personal favorite, but it's not without its moments.