having a crack

OMELETTE // What is an omelette? Humans have been asking that exact question since the very first caveman accidentally dropped a pterodactyl egg onto a hot stone that happened to be housing a mushroom, tomato and pinch of chives. Despite 100 years (?) passing since then, we still have no answer, so I must define an omelette based solely on my cooking experience: a confusing blob of egg that’s often accompanied by other foodstuffs such as ham, spinach and cheese. To truly master an omelette it must somehow contain both undercooked and overcooked egg, and zero symmetry. It must look and taste like a bunch of ingredients were dropped into a pan and handled by a stressed raccoon. Some say there’s an art to it, and when cooked properly, an omelette is a fluffy, half-moon-shaped eggy delight filled with whichever delicious savoury