Complicated Grief: Grieving the Unfilled Parental Relationship

Turning off the Song of the Past so I can more Effectively Discern the Present: This episode addresses a question that was submitted by an individual struggling with a spouse who has been severely lacking in empathy, engages in chronic gaslighting, and has shown self-centered behaviors. Being able to tell whether such behaviors are just personality or defensive and protective in nature is difficult. We might also burden ourselves with pressure to forgive right away. This becomes especially difficult when the marriage dynamics remind us of painful childhood dynamics that we were subjected to in our childhood. This episode discusses learning to put everything in the proper place, so we can make the best decisions towards getting relief. by Healing the Unresolved

28 min listen

Dealing with Trauma: Fr. Joshua begins his new podcast by answering submitted questions on the subject of trauma and how to heal from it within the context of Orthodox Christianity. If you have a question for Fr. Joshua, please email him via the "Send Feedback" link. by Healing the Unresolved

34 min listen

When the Past Reappears: In this episode, Fr. Joshua addresses questions on loss, abandonment, and broken relationships. Many of us experience fear and anxiety on some level, but this is often from perceived threats and difficulty tolerating uncertainty. Often, our past wounds will reappear in the present and we must find a way to fully grieve, and fully heal, in order to move forward. As we head into the season of the Nativity, it's a time to focus on reconciliation and healing. by Healing the Unresolved

32 min listen

Holding on to Hope: In this episode, Fr. Joshua addresses questions on trauma in the Church, divorce, and alcoholism. While we may become guarded due to our own woundedness, we must never turn in on ourselves in self-reliance. It is a strength to reach out for help - and it will ultimately aid us in our spiritual growth. In all of these issues, there is always hope for a fresh start, a hope to continue on the path of salvation. Our prayers, surrounding all of these difficult issues, must be rooted in hope, not control. We can turn to God and ask for a spirit of hope and humility. by Healing the Unresolved

38 min listen

Complicated Grief: Grieving the Unfilled Parental Relationship: Today’s episode focuses on answering a question by someone who is struggling through complicated grief. Specifically, grieving the passing of an abusive parent. Very often with complicated grief, we are not aware of what exactly we are grieving. So often, it is not what we think or realize. by Healing the Unresolved

18 min listen

Memory Makers: Don’t be the Jenga block: Most of us strive to be kind and understanding of others. However, in this distressed world we might not realize how much can be at stake. Those who suffer the most often suffer invisibly. When we have an interaction in which we were not at our best with someone we know, we can circle back and apologize and make things right. However, with strangers out in public, we often do not have that opportunity. As a result, perhaps there is little margin for error. We have the power to create positive memories or negative memories in others. When we are not kind, understanding, or merciful; without realizing it, our interaction with that stranger could be like the Jenga block in their life that destabilizes them, takes away hope, and causes them to give up. by Healing the Unresolved

24 min listen

Letting Go of Avoidance: Bringing the Present and Future back Online: In today’s episode, we we do a deeper exploration of avoidance. Avoidance is very common, and is often employed in everyday life in a way that’s smart and helpful. However, when it comes to the avoidance that follows after painful experiences, we often end up avoiding too much and more than we need to. As a result, it costs us the more beautiful experiences of life, precisely the ones that can serve to heal us. by Healing the Unresolved

21 min listen

Silver Linings: When Pain Transfigures into Gifts: The silver linings of the healing work are many. One of the most beautiful truths, is that as we progress through the healing work, we get to keep all of the skills and gifts gained from our experience, but we leave behind all the pain and hurt. In other words, all the abilities and skills we learned as a result of our experience we don’t have to give up or turn in once we have healed. Indeed, the healing work truly transfigures. by Healing the Unresolved

17 min listen

The Temptation of Busyness: Learning to Regain Control: Many have given into the belief that we just have busy lives and really have no other choice. We daily experience the effects of being on our heels and not being masters of the time that God has given us. We become stressed, overwhelmed, burned out, and develop a learned helplessness. There are many different factors that lead to us yielding to defeat in the face of the pace of this world. No one else is going to do it for us, we have to be the ones to exercise this healthy form of control and determine the pace of our lives. by Healing the Unresolved

14 min listen

Healing When we are Alone in Sickness: How do we do the healing work if we are bedridden and have no one around us? Today’s episode focuses on utilizing our relationship with God and ourselves. So long as those two are intact, we can never be abandoned, and having those healing experiences can still happen. by Healing the Unresolved

18 min listen

Healing Work during the Nativity Light: Mending Relationships with both the Living and the Departed.: When struggling with complicated grief, many of us may feel a sense of finality when our loved one departs this world. However, using the eyes of our faith we see that the relationship continues. The departed can still be part of our healing work. The relationship can continue to be healed, even though they have departed. Using the power and heightened sensitivity of the Nativity season, we can be even more productive in healing broken relationships, with both the living and the departed. by Healing the Unresolved

19 min listen

Caught between Two Families: Which one do I parent?: Today’s episode answers a question from an individual who is a parent and has their own healthy family, but in many ways is having to still parent their family of origin which has been dysfunctional. When this is a role that we have played for a long time, it is very confusing, and often we are saddled with guilt at making our present family our priority. Setting boundaries does not mean we are abandoning our family of origin. When we don’t set boundaries, we might be enabling our family of origin, so that they never truly grow up. by Healing the Unresolved

25 min listen

The Nativity X-Ray of our Soul: During these dark and short days of December, we are fortunate to have the nativity light. The nativity light acts as an x-ray on our soul and illuminates all that is missing, broken, and fallen. It reveals to us the areas that need to be addressed. It is during this time of year that the urge to restore and reconcile is at its strongest. It is also during this time of year that the human heart is the most ripe for reconciliation. We must take advantage of this time while the nativity light is still with us. by Healing the Unresolved

10 min listen

The Robber of Gratitude and all that is Good: Identifying and Resolving Hypervigilance.: Everyone at one time or another experiences a sour mood or just feeling very negative. We complain a lot, and feel like nothing is right. However, sometimes this can become chronic, which can be indicative that there is something else going on. One of the sources of this, that is not often discussed, is when we live in a state of hypervigilance. When we live in a state of hypervigilance we are never at rest, always on guard, and overlooking everything that is right in our life; because it is not relevant to our main mission of scanning our environment for threats. Today’s podcast involves a discussion of this and some steps we can take to undo hypervigilance. by Healing the Unresolved

20 min listen

Caught between Two Families: Which one do I parent?: Today’s episode answers a question from an individual who is a parent and has their own healthy family, but in many ways is having to still parent their family of origin which has been dysfunctional. When this is a role that we have played for a long time, it is very confusing, and often we are saddled with guilt at making our present family our priority. Setting boundaries does not mean we are abandoning our family of origin. When we don’t set boundaries, we might be enabling our family of origin, so that they never truly grow up. by Healing the Unresolved

25 min listen

Embracing the Opportunity of Perceived Setbacks in the Healing Work: Today's podcast answers the question of why do setbacks occur in the healing work and how do we navigate the discouragement caused by them. The truth is, these are not setbacks at all, but rather opportunities. They are movement forward, not backward. by Healing the Unresolved

18 min listen

When People Disappoint: Staying Balanced and Maintaining the Relationship: Today’s podcast answers two questions. The first, pertains to how to proceed or cope when others are not able to be responsive to the deeper things we share with them. The second question pertains to the flexibility and malleability we need in setting boundaries. by Healing the Unresolved

25 min listen

Parenting from Afar: When our Adult Children get Stuck: Today’s podcast answers a question from a father who is greatly worried about his adult son. His son has reached a detour in his life and has been unable to move around it. His son also lives a significant distance away, which adds to the feelings of powerlessness. While has maintained great balance in his relationship with his son, he worries about him greatly, and seeks to know what he can do without making his son feel worse or causing him to pull away. by Healing the Unresolved

24 min listen

Discover this podcast and so much more

Complicated Grief: Grieving the Unfilled Parental Relationship

Complicated Grief: Grieving the Unfilled Parental Relationship

Description

Titles in the series (18)

More Episodes from Healing the Unresolved

Related podcast episodes