56 min listen
74: I Want You to Be Obsessed with Me - Raven Ross' Highs & Dangerous Lows Being a Hopeless Romantic
74: I Want You to Be Obsessed with Me - Raven Ross' Highs & Dangerous Lows Being a Hopeless Romantic
ratings:
Length:
57 minutes
Released:
May 31, 2023
Format:
Podcast episode
Description
What Is Your Love Story?
Not the one that you’re in per se, but the one that subconsciously, you’ll move mountains or reality, to live inside? Psychologists have identified 26 kinds of stories that people commit to BEFORE committing to their romantic partner so, which one is yours?
Our starring guest Raven Ross who you can recall from Netlfix’s reality series, Love is Blind Season 3. She is also a pilates instructor nearly a 2 million followers on social media. Raven went through one of the messiest Tik Tok cheating scandals last year with her ex-fiancee. Now, she’s ready to love out loud again plus wants to share with you how, why, and maybe even who..
A love story is a frame of reference for how you believe love works or should work. Kind of like how your political beliefs describe how you think a group of people should be governed. Now, as I mentioned off the top, in my fav book, the new psychology of love, there are 26 different common stories that people can subscribe to.
Addiction - we have an intense first connection and from then on we need each other and create a dynamic based around the fear of parting ways
Audition - you gotta win the part and keep proving you love me and if you forget the lines or go too far off script
Art - my partner looks good and they make me look good because I own something beautiful
Business - our union is designed to give us more money, power and respect from others
Cookbook - love has a recipe and instruction list, if we forget ingredients or steps our love won’t be as good
Fantasy - save me, marry me, and happily ever after me.
Game - love is a sport with a winner and a loser or if we’re on the same team there’s still a captain and a bench player
Gardening - love is something that has to grow and it takes time, awareness of the environment, plus continuous tending to in order to flourish. For more on this, see my episode where I explain the difference between a fruit and a fruit tree
History - in our relationship you are who you were, there’s only past you and future you. Think of it like the difference between “I’ll believe it when I see it” and “let’s just see!”
Horror - relationships are scary and the scarier it is, the more real it is
Humor - love is a joke, some people get the joke early, some later, but sooner or later everyone gets humbled
Mystery - you don’t need to know everything about each other because maintaining the mystery is more important than discovering yourselves through uncovering one another
Police - you gotta place rules and boundaries on your partner because people are only as good as you’ll allow them to be
Religion - love is in service of the Lord
Sacrifice - love is just as much about what you give as what you’re willing to give up to demonstrate devotion to the other
Science - love can be studied and explained through scientific theory just like anything else
War - love is a power struggle ruled by
The other ones are: recover, science fiction, sewing, theater, travel, war, student-teacher, and a few more.
Conversation starter pack
What story of love are you currently subscribing to?
Which ones are you aspiring to?
What narratives are you trying to stay clear of and why?
What love story was modeled for you growing up?
Thanks to the sponsors of this episode!
www.hungryroot.com/LOVERS for 30% off your first delivery and your free veggies.
www.caraway.com/lovers for 10% off
www.betterhelp.com/lovers for 10% off your first month
www.zocdoc.com to download the free app
Follow Shan:
https://instagram.com/shanboody
https://tiktok.com/shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com
Follow Raven:
https://www.instagram.com/pilatesbodyraven
www.pilatesbodyraven.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@pilatesbodyraven
Not the one that you’re in per se, but the one that subconsciously, you’ll move mountains or reality, to live inside? Psychologists have identified 26 kinds of stories that people commit to BEFORE committing to their romantic partner so, which one is yours?
Our starring guest Raven Ross who you can recall from Netlfix’s reality series, Love is Blind Season 3. She is also a pilates instructor nearly a 2 million followers on social media. Raven went through one of the messiest Tik Tok cheating scandals last year with her ex-fiancee. Now, she’s ready to love out loud again plus wants to share with you how, why, and maybe even who..
A love story is a frame of reference for how you believe love works or should work. Kind of like how your political beliefs describe how you think a group of people should be governed. Now, as I mentioned off the top, in my fav book, the new psychology of love, there are 26 different common stories that people can subscribe to.
Addiction - we have an intense first connection and from then on we need each other and create a dynamic based around the fear of parting ways
Audition - you gotta win the part and keep proving you love me and if you forget the lines or go too far off script
Art - my partner looks good and they make me look good because I own something beautiful
Business - our union is designed to give us more money, power and respect from others
Cookbook - love has a recipe and instruction list, if we forget ingredients or steps our love won’t be as good
Fantasy - save me, marry me, and happily ever after me.
Game - love is a sport with a winner and a loser or if we’re on the same team there’s still a captain and a bench player
Gardening - love is something that has to grow and it takes time, awareness of the environment, plus continuous tending to in order to flourish. For more on this, see my episode where I explain the difference between a fruit and a fruit tree
History - in our relationship you are who you were, there’s only past you and future you. Think of it like the difference between “I’ll believe it when I see it” and “let’s just see!”
Horror - relationships are scary and the scarier it is, the more real it is
Humor - love is a joke, some people get the joke early, some later, but sooner or later everyone gets humbled
Mystery - you don’t need to know everything about each other because maintaining the mystery is more important than discovering yourselves through uncovering one another
Police - you gotta place rules and boundaries on your partner because people are only as good as you’ll allow them to be
Religion - love is in service of the Lord
Sacrifice - love is just as much about what you give as what you’re willing to give up to demonstrate devotion to the other
Science - love can be studied and explained through scientific theory just like anything else
War - love is a power struggle ruled by
The other ones are: recover, science fiction, sewing, theater, travel, war, student-teacher, and a few more.
Conversation starter pack
What story of love are you currently subscribing to?
Which ones are you aspiring to?
What narratives are you trying to stay clear of and why?
What love story was modeled for you growing up?
Thanks to the sponsors of this episode!
www.hungryroot.com/LOVERS for 30% off your first delivery and your free veggies.
www.caraway.com/lovers for 10% off
www.betterhelp.com/lovers for 10% off your first month
www.zocdoc.com to download the free app
Follow Shan:
https://instagram.com/shanboody
https://tiktok.com/shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com
Follow Raven:
https://www.instagram.com/pilatesbodyraven
www.pilatesbodyraven.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@pilatesbodyraven
Released:
May 31, 2023
Format:
Podcast episode
Titles in the series (100)
Why Straight Men Are Boring In Bed: Let’s talk about sex! Specifically why are so many straight men so closed-minded and unadventurous when it comes to sex? And why aren’t we talking about this more? To cover this, Shan collects a wide variety of male perspectives from legendary sex educator, Dan Savage, the hosts of the Hard or Soft Podcast, and as a special treat, Shan’s husband, Jared, gets together with the closest men in his life to get their honest reflections on why straight men are more concerned with dominance and masculinity than pleasure and self expression in the bedroom. Follow Shan on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shanboody Stay up to date with casting and more from Shan: www.shanboodram.com/join Follow the Hard or Soft Podcast on Instagram: www.instagram.com/hardorsoftpod Listen to Hard or Soft Podcast wherever you are listening to this podcast Follow Dan Savage on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dansavage Listen to the Savage Love Podcast wherever you are list by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram