94: Self Love: My Key to Not Being Blinded By Hurt and Constant Criticism

Why Straight Men Are Boring In Bed: Let’s talk about sex! Specifically why are so many straight men so closed-minded and unadventurous when it comes to sex? And why aren’t we talking about this more? To cover this, Shan collects a wide variety of male perspectives from legendary sex educator, Dan Savage, the hosts of the Hard or Soft Podcast, and as a special treat, Shan’s husband, Jared, gets together with the closest men in his life to get their honest reflections on why straight men are more concerned with dominance and masculinity than pleasure and self expression in the bedroom. Follow Shan on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shanboody Stay up to date with casting and more from Shan: www.shanboodram.com/join Follow the Hard or Soft Podcast on Instagram: www.instagram.com/hardorsoftpod Listen to Hard or Soft Podcast wherever you are listening to this podcast Follow Dan Savage on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dansavage Listen to the Savage Love Podcast wherever you are list by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

56 min listen

Hello, Lovers And Friends: There is so much great and life changing information about sex and love, but let’s say what you’re all thinking...it’s dry as f*ck! Sexologist and intimacy expert Shan Boodram will teach you what you really want to know about intimacy - from porn and orgasms to marriage and divorce - so you can be your own relationship expert. by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

3 min listen

Just So You Know...We Ain't F*ckin!: In this episode, Shan interviews comedian Ashley Hesseltine from the "Girls Gotta Eat" Podcast. You could argue that this episode is about women getting off with men partners without giving anything sexual in return, you could also argue it’s about the validity of blue balls, or that we’re here to discuss dating in a post me-too era. But what it really boils down to is rewriting sexual and romantic scripts, especially for singles. How do you end an intimate encounter where you want to end it...and have it be okay? by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

49 min listen

Naked Barbies and Humping Pillows: It’s storytime! Shan takes you down memory lane in order to answer the question she is asked most often throughout her career: When and how did you decide that you were going to be a sex expert? In this special edition episode and for the first time ever on the Podcast, Shan brings in the woman who witnessed it all. None other than Olivia Boodram, aka Mom. Follow Shan on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shanboody Keep up to date with Shan by joining the mailing list: www.shanboodram.com/join Follow Olivia Boodram on Instagram: www.instagram.com/yourtravelwitholivia by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

34 min listen

Are You Caught Up?: It's the last episode of 2021 and Shan brings together Jared and Lauren to share all that went on behind the scenes in making the podcast. Also, why doesn't Shan like the theme song? by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

41 min listen

She Switched Up Since She Got a Man: Should you change who you are in order to keep the lover you wanna be with? If your first reaction is "Hell to the No!" well...you're not alone. In this episode Shan interviews Emmy award-winning producer and host Jeannie Mai, who talks about how her marriage to Young Jeezy transformed her in ways that just didn’t surprise her, it also shocked the world! We also explore whether or not Shan regrets the changes she made for love with a revealing dialogue between her husband Jared and her sister Lauren. Follow Shan on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shanboody Follow Jeannie Mai on Instagram: www.instagram.com/thejeanniemai Follow Jared Brady on Instagram: www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady Follow Lauren Morrison on Instagram: www.instagram.com/thisislaurenelizabeth by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

53 min listen

I (kinda) Hate My Lover ft/ Jazzmyne Jay: A lot of us learn how to love, but we don’t necessarily learn how to cope with not loving everything about the person we love. This episode is all about the difference between disliking some things about your partner and/or disliking your partner. How do you know if something small and annoying can turn into something big and unbearable down the road? What should you do when you get to the place where the two of you just can't seem to get along? Jazzmyne Jay is back in this episode to share why she moved in with her partner and then moved out once she found that they just couldn’t get along. And guess what -- they are still together to this day despite that storm. I am also joined by my husband Jared Brady and we discuss why we've never liked each other less than we do right now. Plus, we go through an exercise to try and understand this phase we’re currently in. I also answer some of your questions! Follow Shan on Instagram: www.instagram. by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

58 min listen

Is It Cheating? Or Is It An Open Relationship?: What do you do if you realize that monogamy isn’t for you, and that realization leads to another even more terrifying thought… Who? How? What the fuck, now? In this episode, Shan sits down with her personal friend Rome Green Jr. from Dormtainment who explains why he knows monogamy isn’t for him and why he also knows that he may not have the rest figured out just yet. Then Ken Melvoin-Berg & Sunny Megatron aka Sex Ed Superheroes join Shan and her husband, Jared, to break down how they've navigated openness in their marriage and what do's and don'ts they've all learned. Follow Shan on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shanboody Join Shan's Mailing List: www.shanboodram.com/join Follow Rome Green Jr. on Instagram: www.instagram.com/iromealot Follow Sunny Megatron on TikTok: www.tiktok.com/sunnymegatron Visit Sunny's website: www.sunnymegatron.com Tune into Ken's weekly D&D live stream that raises for a sex worker mutual aid fund at twitch.tv/ by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

52 min listen

Rape is Not Sex: In one of Shan’s toughest interviews to date, she sits down with New York Times Best Selling Author, Ashley C. Ford, who talks about her unconventional path to healing from sexual assault and how it impacted how she thought about sex. Shan also has a conversation with "Trauma Queen" Jimanekia about how to start the trauma healing process with a professional. If you are seeking support/resources due to sexual violence, you can reach out to organizations such as RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) by visiting www.rain.org or call their National Sexual Assault Hotline by dialing 800.656.HOPE (4673). Follow Shan on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shanboody Keep up to date with Shan by joining the mailing list: www.shanboodram.com/join Follow Ashley C. Ford on Instagram: www.instagram.com/smashfizzle Buy Ashley’s Book: Somebody's Daughter: A Memoir https://www.amazon.com/Somebodys-Daughter-Ashley-C-Ford/dp/1250305977 Follow Jimanekia on Instagram: www.instagram.co by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

62 min listen

Hey, Can We Try Something Freaky?: Can you get exactly what you want sexually without taking away something from what your partner wants? And if you can't...should you really care? In this episode, Shan sits down with Weezy from the wildly popular podcast, Whoreible Decisions, to discuss how femmes play down their expertise in the bedroom in order to not threaten their partner's masculinity. Shan and Lauren then sit down to talk about how this shows up outside the bedroom and impacts a femme's money, career, and relationships. Follow Shan on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shanboody Join Shan's Mailing List: www.shanboodram.com/join Follow Weezy on Instagram: www.instagram.com/weezywtf Listen to the Whoreible Decisions Podcast on Youtube or wherever you get your podcasts Follow Lauren on Instagram: www.instagram.com/thisislaurenelizabeth Join Lauren's mailing list: www.maketheshiftcoach.com/join by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

53 min listen

I Do...Think About Divorcing You: When people take that vow of forever, do they enter into that contract knowing that they don’t really mean it? In this episode, Shan sits down with Bart and Geo, who check all the boxes of #CoupleGoals: a marriage, a beautiful home, family, podcast and multiple thriving businesses, to find out how their recent divorce scare has reframed what #CoupleGoals means to them now. Then it gets personal when Shan, her husband, her sister and her brother-in-law admit to times when they almost called it quits. Follow Shan on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shanboody Keep up to date with Shan by joining the mailing list: www.shanboodram.com/join Follow Geo on Instagram: www.instagram.com/geo_antoinette Follow Bart on Instagram: www.instagram.com/bartkwan Tune into Bart & Geo’s new podcast on YouTube: Get Close Podcast - YouTube Follow Jared Brady on Instagram: www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady Tune into Jared’s Podcast: ‎Enjoy the Podcast on Apple Podcasts Follo by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

50 min listen

63: Sex: Everything You Need to Know by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

55 min listen

I Don't Want To Break Up But I Need Some Space: Have you heard of a couple that's Living Apart Together? In this episode, Shan interviews Ev'Yan Whitney, a sensualist, and author of the book "Your Sensual Self" about how they and their husband decided to live in different states after being together for 19 years, while still continuing to be married. Shan also interviews her parents, who have been married for 40 years, to see there's anything they could learn from Ev'Yan's story to better their own marriage. Follow Shan on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shanboody Join Shan's Mailing List: www.shanboodram.com/join Follow Ev'Yan Whitney on Instagram: www.instagram.com/evyan.whitney Follow Lauren on Instagram: www.instagram.com/thisislaurenelizabeth Follow Olivia Boodram on Instagram: www.instagram.com/yourtravelwitholivia Follow Brian Boodram on Instagram: www.instagram.com/briboo1958 by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

48 min listen

Help! Why Can't I Orgasm?: Can a needle of filler give you the ability to orgasm by penetration? Shan interviews Dr. Courtenay Poucher, and gets the "O-shot" to find out. Dr. Poucher is a licensed and board certified expert cosmetic gynecologist who practices in Southern California. She has dedicated her career to women’s sexual health returning functionality and confidence to her patients with labiaplasty. She has been featured on The Doctors, NBC Access Live, and in New Beauty, Hustle and Elle.com. by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

47 min listen

My Nightmare Living With A Pregnant Woman - Jared Brady Takeover!: Jared opens up about the struggles of living with a pregnant woman. It gets raw, real and unfiltered. by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

35 min listen

He Might Be Better In Bed Than You: For years, Shan has heard the rumors that A LOT of non-gay men are watching gay porn. In this episode we answer the question: What can gay men teach the non-gay community about how to have great sex? To find out Shan interviews Jade Fox, a queer lifestyle creator and social media influencer, Jade Fox, who admits to enjoying gay porn over lesbian porn. We also hear from Kevin Wade and Javonte Rose, two gay men, on what their secret sauce is when it comes to great sex. by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

45 min listen

Porn Sucks!: Why are so many women immediately turned off when porn gets turned on? To find out, Shan interviews award-winning film maker and porn director, Erika Lust, about how her work addresses this common dilemma. Erika shares with us what kind of porn women should search for if they are looking to get off before getting turned off by less palatable options, and Shan sees if she can convince Lauren to give porn a chance. Follow Shan on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shanboody Follow Erika Lust on Instagram: www.instagram.com/erikalust Get your “Lovers and Friends” exclusive free 30 day trail to Lust Cinema: www.lustcinema.com/sign-up/loversandfriends Follow Lauren Morrison on Instagram: www.instagram.com/thisislaurenelizabeth by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

42 min listen

Am I Undateable? w/ Khleo Thomas and Mandii B: Does finding the kind of relationship you want mean conforming to an ideal of what a romantic partner is “supposed to be”? What if you don’t want to conform? Does this mean you’re not cut out for love? To explore further, Shan sits down with both Mandii, from the “See, The Thing Is” and “WHOREible Decisions” Podcasts and Khleo Thomas from Disney’s “Holes”; two successful and fascinating individuals who have come to believe that they are undateable. Not because of any toxic traits, but because their version of life-long happiness is not in line with what society feeds us. Listen in on this conversation as Shan helps these guests figure out what’s broken. Follow Shan Boodram on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shanboody Buy Shan’s Book “The Game of Desire: 5 Surprising Secrets to Dating with Dominance and Getting What You Want” wherever you buy your books or audiobooks Follow Mandii B on Instagram: www.instagram.com/fullcourtpumps Listen to by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

49 min listen

You're Dating Out of Your League w/ Harry Jowsey: Let’s talk about dating and why so many people are lost in the gap between what they’re getting and what they want out of love. To get up close and personal about it, Shan welcomes Harry Jowsey to the podcast, who you might recognize as the Australian heartthrob from the 2020 season of Netfilx's "Too Hot to Handle". So how is it that a 6'5", successful, wealthy, gorgeous, and emotionally available man is having trouble finding "the one"? The answer surprised him, and may even surprise you too. Follow Shan on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shanboody Get your copy of Shan's Book "The Game of Desire" on Amazon Follow Harry Jowsey on Instagram: www.instagram.com/harryjowsey Listen to "Tap in with Harry Jowsey" wherever you are listening to this podcast Follow Los on Instagram: www.instagram.com/blamelos Listen to Los and his 2 co-hosts every week on "Enjoy the Podcast" wherever you are listening to this podcast by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

50 min listen

Dating In Your Twenties. One Word: Resentment: Does dating in your twenties have to be trash? Or are people in their twenties just trash? In this episode, Shan brings on Andrea Desiree Lewis, her ex-business partner from the early “Those Girls Are Wild” YouTube days. Shan and Andrea dish on their worst moments from dating in their 20s and how it actually made them better partners today. Then, find out why Shan finds talking to her 23-year-old brother-in-law therapeutic for her 20-year-old self. Don't forget to leave a rating and review for this podcast! Follow Shan on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shanboody Join Shan's mailing list: www.shanboodram.com/join Follow Andrea Lewis on Instagram: www.instagram.com/andrealewis Watch "Black Actress" and "Beyond Complicated" on YouTube: www.youtube.com/andrealewischannel by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

53 min listen

Don’t Ask Me My Sign: Astrology … what has your experience been with it (especially) when it comes to dating? What if someone has a different perspective on it than you? Oftentimes, it can be a judgmental, mean, hot-ass mess when one person believes in the stars and astrological signs and the other does not. Personally, I think we can all collectively do better with it. In this episode, we dive into how believers and non-believers of astrology can come together and focus on what really matters. This episode addresses and then attempts to bridge the divide. I am joined by famed astrologer Aliza Kelly as well as my astrology-loving friends Amber's Closet and Toni Romiti. Follow Shan on Instagram: http://instagram.com/shanboody Stay up to date with Shan and Lovers and Friends Casting: http://shanboodram.com/join ALIZA KELLY is a celebrity astrologer, columnist, bestselling author, and host. Aliza has been featured in The New York Times, The New Yorker, Vogue, InStyle, The Cut, and by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

51 min listen

Men's Ego: The Real Cock Blocker for Great Sex feat. Tim Chantarangsu: Let’s get right into this week’s episode: do many straight men utilize sex education, outside of watching mainstream porn, in order to ensure they’re really putting it down? In my opinion…no… as both a sex educator and as someone who’s had sex with straight men, I gotta say The ego that I’ve been met with from straight men has been toxic at times and really sad at others. And to me ego is both the biggest turnoff and biggest, for lack of a better term, cock blocker to actual great sex. by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

53 min listen

Help! Should I Leave Him or Double Down on Loving Him? feat. Tee: Tee aka HiMyNamesTee Tee is in a 12-year on and off relationship with her first love and first sexual partner that she feels equal parts hope and despair towards. Should she stay in feeling as though she's with her soul mate and twin flame OR run in knowing that she's tried so hard for so long and still... by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

43 min listen

Do We Really Want Vulnerable Men?: Women say they want a man who is open and willing to be vulnerable, but is this really true? Back in 2019, Shan participated in a YouTube discussion with Aba and Preach where they covered this very topic.The conversation amassed over 1.3M views and nearly 9000 comments. Two years later, Shan, Aba & Preach re-visit this under-represented dialogue about why some men don't yet feel safe to show their vulnerable side with their partners. by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

49 min listen

Hi, Meet My Mental Illness!: So let’s talk about dating with mental illness. In this episode, Shan sits down with Eileen Kelly from the "Going Mental" podcast about her recent experience with being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, and how it impacted her dating/romantic life. Shan continues the conversation with author and therapist, Nedra Glover Tawwab, who has advice for how to talk about mental illness when you're in a relationship and how you can be a supportive partner. Follow Shan on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shanboody Join Shan's Mailing List: www.shanboodram.com/join Follow Eileen Kelly on Instagram: www.instagram.com/eileen Listen to the "Going Mental" podcasts wherever you listen to podcasts Follow Nedra Glover Tawwab on Instagram: www.instagram.com/nedratawwab by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

51 min listen

The Funny Thing About Love And Sex w/ Hannah Berner: How important is humor in love and dating? In that same vein how harmful can humor in the wrong way at the wrong time be in a romantic connection? To explore this question, Shan sits with the hilarious Hannah Berner of Giggly Squad and Berning in Hell podcasts and Bravo’s Summer House, and Hannah reveals all the fun parts of being in love with a comedian…and what happens when the joke goes too far. Shan also gets some expert insight from Dr. Helen Fisher, PhD, and finally, find out why Shan’s husband Jared never laughs at her jokes. Follow Shan on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shanboody Keep up to date with Shan and casting calls for Lovers and Friends: www.shanboodram.com/join Follow Hannah Berner on Instagram: www.instagram.com/beingbernz Listen to the “Giggly Squad” and “Berning in Hell” podcasts wherever you are listening to this podcast Follow Jared Brady on Instagram: www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady Listen to Jared and his by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

42 min listen

My Ex Was a Gaslighter w/ Melissa Rivers: Are you familiar with the term “gaslighting?” Shan’s guest, Melissa Rivers, was a victim of it in her previous relationship - and she didn’t hesitate to share her experiences. In this episode, we learn about Melissa and Shan’s gaslighting experiences and the toxic impact it has had on them. Shan also brings in Dr. Barry Goldstein, a clinical psychologist, therapist, and consultant to reality-based production shows such as “Make Up or Break Up.” Dr. Barry provides clinical knowledge about gaslighting and tools to not only identify it; but challenge it as well. Follow Shan on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shanboody Stay up to date with Shan and Lovers and Friends Casting: www.shanboodram.com/join Follow Melissa Rivers on Instagram: www.instagram.com/melissariversofficial Buy Melissa’s Latest Book: “Lies My Mother Told Me: Tall Tales from a Short Woman” Listen to the #GroupText Podcast wherever you are listening to this podcast Visit Dr. Bar by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

50 min listen

He's a cheating, code-less mother fucker feat. Tefi Pessoa by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

46 min listen

This Baby Is Killing Our Sex Life: In this very intimate and vulnerable episode, Shan sits down with her husband, Jared, to discuss the real fears they have about the future of their marriage and intimacy now that baby #2 is on the way. Being in new territory, Shan tries to learn as much as she can about how others have navigated similar challenges including her audience, her mother, her sister, and Erica Dickerson and Milah Mapp from the podcast Good Moms, Bad Choices. Follow Shan on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shanboody Keep up to date with Shan and upcoming Lovers and Friends casting calls: www.shanboodram.com/join Follow “Good Moms, Bad Choices” on Instagram: www.instagram.com/goodmoms_badchoices Listen to their podcast wherever you are listening to this podcast Follow Lauren Morrison on Instagram: www.instagram.com/thisislaurenelizabeth Follow Olivia Boodram on Instagram: www.instagram.com/yourtravelwitholivia by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

56 min listen

Let’s Talk About They, Baby: When you search non-binary on YouTube, videos like “There Are Only Two Genders - Prove Me Wrong!” show up. In this episode, we bring the heated debate surrounding breaking the binary from a boil to something digestible and actionable. Here to help us unpack this topic is non-binary sexuality expert Ev'Yan Whitney and non-binary multi-dimensional artist Jordianna AKA Jordi. In this episode we’re discussing: the difference between sex and gender, the goal of the non-binary movement, the dangers of ignorance, and why non-binary people want you to identify however the fuck you want to identify. Follow Shan on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shanboody Stay up to date with Shan and Lovers and Friends Casting: www.shanboodram.com/join Follow Ev'Yan Whitney: https://www.instagram.com/evyan.whitney Support Ev'Yan's book and podcast: https://www.evyanwhitney.com/ Support Jordianna's work: https://earthtojordi.com/ Learn more about Sorelle Amore: https://www.instagram by Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

56 min listen

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94: Self Love: My Key to Not Being Blinded By Hurt and Constant Criticism

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