People talk about triggers, we are aware of triggers, we can understand some of them, but the triggers I am speaking of in this episode are the triggers that we can't seem to get away from. The ones that lay silent for a time and then suddenly turn our lives upside down. I have spent almost 15 years thinking I could "fix" all the negative effects toxic relationships had on me, but through frustration and shame I have had to come to terms with the fact that perhaps not all is "fixable". The acceptance of this was difficult. I felt flawed, broken, and beyond repair for so long that acceptance at first felt like I was giving up, in the end though I did not give up....I LET GO! Letting go is such a relief for me, I don't have to live under the pressure of hoping it doesn't happen or predicting when it may happen again because I know it will and I won't know when. I accept that they are part of me, and rather than denying it, I can move through them rather than fight them.