229 // Applying Our Four Pillars: Connection, Being Present, Unconditional Love, & Healthy Boundaries
When we first started Find the Magic, we realized through research and experience that many of the strategies and ideas we found in books boiled down to four pillars: Connection, Being Present, Unconditional Love, & Healthy Boundaries. We labeled these pillars because they figuratively hold up the loving, kind, respectful homes we are striving to cultivate. We have found that if you are seeing behavioral issues with children or a lack of peace within yourself, these pillars can serve to help you recalibrate. In this episode we discuss how to ACTUALLY apply and do these four pillars. 
Time Stamps
10:00 - What are the Four Pillars?
11:09 - When our kids openly disobey
13:32 - The stories we tell ourselves are important and shape our responses
16:08 - Wholehearted parenting leads to kids who honor their own and others emotions
20:07 - How do you “make” a child do something?
21:51 - Pillar #1: The importance of connection 
24:10 - Connect in the moment by acknowledging emotion and truly seeing them
25:58 - Physical touch is a meaningful way to connect in the moment
28:50 - Child Whisperer – type 3 energy
32:10 - Preventative connection - acknowledging when kids are behaving well, holding hands, etc.
33:22 - Caregiving tasks ARE connection times
35:23 - Pillar # 2: Being present
37:00 - Wholehearted attention some of the time is WAY better than half-hearted attention always
38:20 - See the present moment as the main event rather than the precursor
41:26 - In yoga the transition to the posture is the posture
43:05 - Mantra for being present is “Here I am.”
45:00 - A human need is to be witnessed
47:27 - Pillar #3: Unconditional Love
50:00 - What does love look like when I misbehave?
54:07 - Pillar #4: Healthy Boundaries
55:05 - Hold boundaries early
1:00:00 - Maintain boundaries for yourself - take time to refuel
Related episodes
Four Pillars of Wholehearted Parenting We Apply to Any Problem
223 // The Power of Being Present NOW
HOW TO Reconnect with Life, Your Marriage and Your Kids / Deep Dive into Connection
Let Your Phone Be a Tool Not Your Master: Screen Detox Tips and Boundaries for Real Life
183 // Putting Our Attention on the Beautiful Call of Our Lives with Johann Hari’s Stolen Focus
Curbing Your Screen Attachment
How to WAKE UP to Your Life
Links & Books Mentioned
Blue spaces: why time spent near water is the secret of happiness
Good Inside // Dr. Becky Kennedy
Sponsor:
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Review of the week:
I am a busy mom of 4 (7 yo and under) and Find the Magic is something that I do for myself. I connect with these women SO well and they make me feel like I’m doing the best job, even when I feel like I’m not. Thank you ladies for being here for us mothers. ♥️


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