If you’re going to seek help from a therapist (or coach), then how do you set yourself up for success? How do you find the right therapist? And how has the process of therapy evolved to achieve better and better results? To answer these questions and more, we have a return visit from Dr. Jeffrey Zeig, the Director of the Milton Erickson Foundation. Along with having been a student of Milton Erickson, and being an incredibly skilled therapist and trainer in his own right, Jeff is also the architect of the Evolution of Psychotherapy conference, which pulls together the top minds in the field of psychotherapy to discuss what’s working, what isn’t, and to collaborate on enhancing what’s possible through the art and science of psychotherapy. As a bonus, we also chat about how you can change your negative habits and addictions into positive habits and addictions! Our goal with today’s episode is to give you the best sense of how to get the most out of a decision to seek professional support for yourself and your relationship. If you’re interested in hearing our first conversation together you can listen to that here: Episode 102: How to Evolve Your Relationship - with Jeff Zeig A little nudge: There is not any one of us that does not have a place in our inner world in which we struggle. We all have areas where we are remarkably competent, and other areas in which we are not functioning at our fullest capacity. We find ways to adapt, defend, and protect ourselves in order to manage despite our shadows- sometimes to our own detriment. A psychotherapist can offer intent attention and support as we learn to untangle our patterns and learn to function more adaptively. Our wounds occur in relationship, and therefore healing is often most effective when it is also relational. We heal when we feel the presence of another person- someone who is unconditionally supporting all of who we are. In this supportive atmosphere we begin to respond to little nudges and gentle pressures, and in discovering our own internal resources we can begin to move in the direction we are designed to go. Finding the right fit: Due to the fact that healing in psychotherapy depends greatly on the therapeutic rapport between therapist and client, it is critical that you feel met. When you are searching around for a therapist, know that it may take a few tries. As you meet with potential therapists, ask yourself questions such as ‘is this someone I feel rapport with? Is this therapist working hard to understand me? Does this person have the tools that will help me? Do I feel safe in this person’s presence?’ Check in with your felt sense in their space- how does your body respond in their office? Remember that effectiveness of therapy has more to do with the relationship than with the specific techniques and interventions. Note that therapists are aware of this as well and that it is their responsibility as well as yours to assess fit- do not hesitate to share your experience with them as they are trained to help navigate referrals when it is not the right match. Get the most from therapy: If you can get a very clear image of the outcome you want to see through therapy, the deeper and more effective your process will be. Ask yourself what you want to achieve, and then express this to your therapist. If you are feeling stuck in desperation and lack of clarity, speak this to your therapist as this can then become the first target area.  The time formulating your vision of change is invaluable to the healing process, and is medicine in and of itself as it awakens slumbering parts of our consciousness that actually know how to get us there. See things from a different perspective- We are all the products/results of our habits of being. Nearly 90% of the habits we form are really good for us- the other 10% of our habits are ones that are maladaptive. A psychotherapist can help us see the ways in which our current approaches are not helping us get to where we are wanting to