This week, Jim and Jan dig into the tie between emotional intelligence and sales. Organizations are moving away from manipulative tactics, and using using empathy and connection to influence others. They discuss the similarities between sales and leadership and how emotional intelligence can be learned. There are ways we can turn small talk into big relationships!   Key Takeaways [3:03] There is an art to influencing that people find pleasant, rather than manipulative and pushy sales tactics. [4:42] We live in a “me” world, and tend to think our actions have a bigger impact than they actually do. [5:40] Back pressure is important for creating urgency or a call to action, but there’s only so much to create before you’re deemed as a royal pain. You can increase your odds not to need that one deal by having many options and activity. [7:12] Leaders must take the time to gather feedback and assess whether something is a useful activity or is leading to a useful outcome. [8:02] We also must understand the buying process, and how it differs from the selling process. Great influencers create the most frictionless path for buyers. [10:33]  One of the last thing that AI might learn is how to sell something, and it’s difficult the nuances of connection that comes with the bonding and chatting in person. [14:27] The threads that make up great sellers and leaders are intertwined closely. The qualities that set people apart in both of them include self-awareness, authenticity, curiosity and an ability to truly connect. [19:18] It’s natural to have hang-ups and walls up to protect ourselves. Jim and Jan find that the more teamwork exercises they do, the more likely people are to let these walls down and trust their group. [24:01] A few key characteristics of a strong emotional intelligence and ability to influence Have an accurate self image. Be authentic and comfortable in your own skin. Your words should match your feelings. Your actions should align Ask questions [27:55] Small talk is easier to learn than people think. Get out of your own way, and ask simple questions, then really listen to the answer.   Quotable Quotes “Everyone's an influencer.” “The real anecdote to something not closing is having more things that could close.” “To have a lot of different options you need activity.” “In sales you are irrelevant, and the buyer has all the power.” “Forget about you, if you want to influence others.” “Great relationships are critical to success in both sales and leaderships.”   Instagram: @WeStudyLeaders Facebook: @westudyleaders Twitter: @westudyleaders LinkedIn: The Leadership Podcast info@theleadershippodcast.com     Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman Principles of Persuasion Year Million #101: General Stanley McChrystal on What Connects Us The Art of Small Talk  by Debra Fine