In this highlight from the show, Dr. Cloud talks about our automatic tendencies in conflicts. Our default tendencies aren’t always so productive, fruitful or stellar. Sometimes they stem from conflicts or trauma and often do us a disservice. Dr. Cloud talks Dr. Karen Horney’s way of breaking down these tendencies into categories. Our automatic tendencies fall into one of three modes: Moving Towards, Moving Against, and Moving Away. The first step is figuring out what your default tendency is, and then making a thoughtful decision about whether that’s the appropriate way for you to respond to your situation.   Got a narcissist in your life? Not sure what to do? Then you're in luck! We have an upcoming workshop on Narcissism on June 28th at 5pm Pacific! If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to Boundaries.me/Narcissism.   Get a free 14 day trial to Boundaries.me with over 90 video courses, daily coaching emails and more. We've got courses on codependency, finding safe people, dealing with a narcissist, and over 90 other courses. You'll also get daily coaching videos delivered to your inbox--short 2-4 minute videos that give you one thing to do that day to build your way to a better version of yourself. We've also got a members-only support community on the site where you can discuss what you're learning, and get support and share support along the way. It's a free two-week trial, cancel at anytime, and only $9 a month after that. https://www.boundaries.me