Everything is a potential deal breaker when all-or-nothing thinking prevails!People who were raised in emotional abusive homes learn to think that way. If you are with one, you may be on the receiving end and need to understand and name it. You need to be able to do that.If you were raised by an emotionally abusive parent, you may have learned to use all-or-nothing thinking as a safety mechanism, or a defense mechanism. You didn't choose it. You learned it. Now, it's wise to have a look at the behavior and see if it is still required, and/or serving you well.Another name for black-or white- all-or-nothing thinking is "splitting." Here's a definition from Wikipedia:"a failure in thinking to bring together the dichotomy of both positive and negative qualities in self and others into a realistic, cohesive whole." That means that you get caught in pairs of opposites, with no consideration of all the possibilities in between. That doesn't leave many options, does it? Life is full of possibilities, changes, and growth points. When you--or someone you care about--gets stuck in all-or-nothing thinking, the richness is gone, and fear has replaced it.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:How all-or-nothing thinking affects your inner dialogue, your self-talkThe definition of "splitting"Why there is focus on extremes in all-or-nothing, black-and-white thinkingHow all-or-nothing thinking reflects fear of shame, blame, and criticismSix fears that underlie black-or-white thinkingChronic stress, anxiety, and depression related to distorted thinking5 strategies to help you shift away from all-or-nothing thinkingNow you can see why it is SO important to recognize this pattern. If it's within you, you'll want to change it. If it's coming at you, understand it and make decisions about your relationship. I'm here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community ----------------------------------------------------------------------#allornothingthinking #blackorwhitethinking #crazy-making #livinginfearofshame #fearofshame #splitting #cognitivedistortion #seeingdownsidepotential #focusingonthenegative #borderlinepersonalitydisorder#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Our GDPR privac