In this episode, my friend Fares and I discuss characteristics and experiences common to men and women experiencing same-sex attractions (SSA). We revisit shame and discuss anticipatory shame, and we explain some of the psychological defenses that we exhibit, mainly false selves and narcissistic thoughts and behaviors. We also dissect the notion of homosexuality being a repetition compulsion and tie it to addictions, and we look into some of the inherent deficits of homosexual relationships. Finally, we end by introducing the notions of grief work and the importance of vulnerability and assertion in resolving the repetition compulsion. What are examples of the false self? How are shame and narcissism tied together? What's the difference between distortions and illusions and how do they control our thinking? What triggers me to act out sexually, and what's the road to healing? We examine these and other questions in this episode.Some extra and relevant resources:- Stand4Truth Summit panel presentations with Robert Vazzo and David Pickup- Coffee with Karim Podcast episode 69: "Are You a Narcissist?"- Same-sex sexuality and psychiatric disorders in the second Netherlands Mental Health Survey and Incidence Study (NEMESIS-2)- Sexual practices among patients with borderline personality disorder