Short Run/Podcast in a Can

FromCrime Pays But Botany Doesn't

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Short Run/Podcast in a Can

FromCrime Pays But Botany Doesn't

ratings:

Length:

53 minutes

Released:

Nov 15, 2019

Format:

Podcast episode

Description

I fucked this episode up by using the wrong mic setting, so it sounds like I recorded it in the public shower stall in the Honk Kong Airport bathroom. Meh, whatever, it's still a decent rant. You'll be fine.

Released:

Nov 15, 2019

Format:

Podcast episode

Titles in the series (100)

An antidote to the nausea caused by life in modern society via explorations of the cast of plant species composing the "living skin" of Planet Earth.

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Neonicotinoids, Molecular Phylogeny, Relict Populations: This episode contains rants about the anomaly of working-class republican-ism, molecular phylogenetics, a new population of Funeral Sage, and a relict population of Alaska Cypress by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
85 min listen
Coronavirus & Sunflowers: An astute comparison of adaptative radiations in Asteraceae with the novel coronavirus COVID-19. Plus, Carl Zimmer kicks Mike Pence in the cock. 90 minutes of rambling with Isaac Lichter, and why coming out of the closet drives the quality of one's... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
115 min listen
Death Valley Limestone, Invasive Species, Herbal Enemas: A trip to Death Valley Limestone , an herbal poultice for invasive species long-winded rambling and the longest attempt to exit the podcast so far. by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
115 min listen
Redwood Lilies & Midwest Botany: Long rants about redwood lilies, a dip into Northern California geology as cross-dissected by Interstate 5, pontificating on lunatics of the left and the right, and a finale about Prairie Botany and the encouraged destruction of the American Lawn. by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
129 min listen
Kick Me Inna Asteraceae: A Very Brief, Low-Brow Approach to the Sunflower Family with frequent cameos by an inopportune Yukele, with frequent digressions into Palo-Endemics, Refugia, Botanical Speciation , Disjunct Populations and Molecular Phylogenetics. by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
78 min listen
Parasitic conifers & Amborella(New Caledonia 2): This is the second episode on New Caledonian botany, with continued fanatic ranting on the wonders of ultramafic geology and botany as well as musings on the futility of eating jackfruit and the pondering of what Dengue Fever must feel like. by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
95 min listen
Mushrooms Mushrooms Mushrooms: A 20 minute disjointed and profane rant followed by a 90 minute conversation with mycologist Alan Rockefeller. Oooooh how bout Dat. by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
125 min listen
Convergent Evolution, Carnivory, and the Milkweed from Serpentine Barrens: Real nice and quick banger Intro to Carnivory and the Piney Woods of the North Carolina Acidic Coastal Plain, plus a cameo by the mysterious and elusive Serpentine Milkweed from Northern California Coast Ranges by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
74 min listen
Extinct Redwood Forests and Sensitivity Training for Rude Geologists: Geologists laughing at Earthquakes, Coyotes as Redneck Antidotes, Extinct Redwood Forests of Nevada and Oregon, Tony flowers in volcanos, Heat Stroke, Calochortus Lily Bonanza, White Sensitivity, and Rico's Tacos. by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
128 min listen
"Superblooms" are relicts & understanding Invasive Species: But for real - how could you not like The Spinners? by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
68 min listen
160 minutes of Sunflowers w/ Bruce Baldwin: (Re-upload because the first file was corrupted and cut out at 3 min...) Probably the episode I'm most excited about so far - a talk with the kind, humble and brilliant Bruce Baldwin, an expert in the largest (second in number of species only to the... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
160 min listen
"I Was a Teenage Eco-Fascist": A thirty minute rant mocking the "eco-fascist" chant among science-blind social theorists and leftwing bloggers (why do fellow lefties not criticize these nitwits?), Sonoran Desert Parasites, Mojave Euphoria during a pandemic, Desert Tortoises,... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
136 min listen
One Long Disjointed Rant b/w Milkweeds and Sclerocactus by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
85 min listen
Rare Manzanitas & The Best Taqueria in the Salinas Valley: A trip to Pinnacles National Park, confused European tourists, the hemorrhoid of differentiating between two morphologically-identical genera of annual tarweeds, and the best goddamn taqueria in the Salinas Valley (Soledad Brother). by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
93 min listen
Plant Breeding, Fern Sex, Dark Humor, South Africa, A Conversation with Martin Grantham: A conversation with a botanical wizard, explorer, conservationist, and plant propagator, my friend the illustrious Martin Grantham. 3 hrs long but worth a listen. We explore comedic misanthropy, a brief analysis of the human condition, our behavioral... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
183 min listen
Short Run/Podcast in a Can: I fucked this episode up by using the wrong mic setting, so it sounds like I recorded it in the public shower stall in the Honk Kong Airport bathroom. Meh, whatever, it's still a decent rant. You'll be fine. by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
53 min listen
Southwest Australian Flora cameo by Foot Rot.m4a: Rants about why it's OK to cry, Foot Rot, Plants that smell like hell and the combination of Continental annexation to Antarctica and extremely nutrient-poor, ancient soils that have led to an exquisite species richness in the Australian Flora. For... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
133 min listen
Southside Chicago & Sonora, Mexico: Kankakee Mallow, Chiggers, Southside Prairies and Railroad Botany... At minute 45:00 starts a long diatribe on Sonoran Sky Islands (recorded in-situ inthe camper of ye Olde shit-box truck) and the wonders of the Legume Family, with multiple... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
165 min listen
Biogeography & Death of a Milkweed: Assorted ramblings on biogeography, a work ethic for Anthropocene, Irreverence for modern society, Biophilia, "Woke" Leftism vs Sociopathic right-ism, and the silly and idiotic destruction of a population of the endangered prostrata milkweed. by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
115 min listen
Rock Daisies, Peyote, Sky Islands and Taqueria Palenque: A gentle, sweaty meander through the Southwest in August, ending in a bath in the salsa bar at Taqueria Palenque in Beautiful Mission, Texas. by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
148 min listen
More Milkweed Dungeons in Nevada and Utah: Milkweed Morphology and an exploration of the passive-aggressive liberal "white voice" by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
134 min listen
Assaulted by Stinkbells and Obsessed with Monkey Flowers: Stinkbells Lilies, Fritillaria agrestis, the Futility of Life in Modern Civ, Calico Monkeyflowers, etc by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
112 min listen
Phantom Orchids & Sneaking to the Botanic Garden: Rants about Cephalanthera austiniae, the phantom orchid, and disjunct populations of Opuntia fragilis. Sneaking in to the Botanic garden after hours. This podcast sponsored by Eucerin. by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
101 min listen
Gypsophiles, Rare Sumacs, Societal Jabs, Arguing with morons, etc: A long episode dedicated to rare Sumacs of West Texas, brutal heat, gypsophiles, refugial canyons in obscure mountain ranges, the phenomenon of arguing with idiots, trolls and shit-posters, and the wonders of Taquerias in South Texas. by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
167 min listen
Coral Pink Sand Dunes Milkweed, Southern Utah Botany, Vertic Limestones, Shitting in Kyle's Firepit: (the intro song recording quality is horrible. Skip to 2:30 rather than leave me an obnoxious comment about it Fuckface). Coral Pink Sand Dunes Milkweed, Southern Utah Botany, Vertic Limestones, Shitting in Kyle's Firepit. Ten days studying the... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
118 min listen
Pandemic Southwest Botany: Join us as we take a look at some limestone endemics of Death Valley and then Gypsum endemics of Nevada and Utah. Learn why the state of Arizona is akin to a "people of Walmart" calendar. Arctomecon humilis, Pediocactus sileri, Astragalus... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
91 min listen
Baby I Wanna Be Your Karstic Dog: Recorded in the Dominican Republic while exploring Dogtooth Limestone Karst formations and contracting urushiol-induced atopic dermatitis, here we rant about the endemic Flora of the Dominican Republic, why Dominicans drive like maniacs and why it's ... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
129 min listen
Climate Deniers, Rio Grande Milkweeds and Cartel Biospheres: Rants on Climate Deniers, Obsolete Racist Grandfathers, El Cielo Biosphere Reserve, Foxtail Pines, the Hong Kong Airport and many more. 2.5 hours worth of profane pontifications on evolutionary biology, the human condition and bad air days. by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
151 min listen
New Caledonia, Disjointed Ranting, Conifer Dungeons, Biogeography of Southern Hemisphere Lineages, Mosquitoes: Did I contract Dengue Fever yesterday on Moo Mountain whilst hiking to a relict population of Araucaria humboldtensis? Was New Caledonia submerged for 20 million years and then recolonized by numerous ancient lineages of plants? Will I be broke after... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
99 min listen
Chilean Fog Deserts, Biogeographical Islands, Nolana Diversity, Candy Diets: 2 hours of pontificating on the beauty of fog deserts plus pondering how the fuck Sheriff Woody is able to hike 1,000 miles on a diet of candy and potato chips. Eriosyce recondita and cactus poachers, lomas formations, Fog islands brought to you by... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
133 min listen

More Episodes from Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't

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Death Valley Botany with Matt Berger: In this episode we talk with Botanist Matt Berger about Death Valley Plants, discovering new species, Limestone endemic plants, Dune Beetles, Desert Shrimp, specifist.ecology and more. by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
121 min listen
Western Railroading, Sobriety, & Male Archetypes: In this episode we take a break from botany-related content to talk with my friend and fellow former locomotive engineer and railroader Lance Jenkins about railroading, sobriety, sad male archetypes in the US, stealing overtime, precision scheduled... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
134 min listen
The Other 99% of Life on Planet Earth : Couch Microscopy with Dr. Julia van Etten: This conversation will make you want to buy a microscope and will make you rethink the way you envision the Tree of Life, where animals, plants and fungi are just a tiny speck on the overall tree of life. Dr. Julia Van Etten (of the @Couch Microscopy... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
140 min listen
Diatomaceous Earth, Horse Cripplers & Leaf Blowers: South Texas Sandsheet, Uvalde County Botany, Using a Leafblower & Diatomaceous Earth to rid yourself of crabs, what the sh*t is a Heterokont aka Stramenophile, Texas Men Will Be Able to Admit Having Feelings in 2028, and more by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
83 min listen
Hunter Martinez aka Cactus Quest: In this episode we talk with Hunter Martinez of the Cactus Quest YouTube Channel about how he got into growing cacti from seed and lurking on them in habitat. We discuss the spirituality of loving plants and deserts, the pros and cons of the collector... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
105 min listen
Riding Trains in Mexico, Contagious Native Plant Gardens,etc: A series of extended rants about "F*ck the Honeybees", trying to settle beefs between friends, Male Primate Rivalry, Riding Trains in Mexico in 2005 & Brakemen with gold fronts, spreading the cult of native plant gardening via demonstration by... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
79 min listen
Instagram Drug Bros & Cactus Poaching: A long-winded rant about the social media phenomenon known as Instagram Drug Bros™️ and trying to encourage them to seek spiritual refuge (como se dice nice) in education about plant ecology and evolution rather than just the hoarding and collecting... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
67 min listen
Desert Ferns with Dr. Michael Windham: This is a science-heavy episode with Dr. Michael Windham, specialist in Cheilanthoid Ferns curator at Duke Herbarium. Even if you're not interested in this group, they're a great case study in numerous fascinating phenomena including convergent... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
124 min listen
An Undescribed Psilocybin sp. in the Desert: This episode consists of a rant about code-switching and friendship/cordiality through friction and being a pain in the ass, along with why dissecting flowers (and not just taking them at face value) with a razorblade or knife is important for... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
65 min listen
Fighting Invasive Buffelgrass in Arizona & Restoring Desert Ecosytems: A conversation with Tony Figueroa, Senior Manager for the Invasive Plant Program at the Tucson Audubon Society (no affiliation with the National Org) about preventing Buffelgrass and Stinknet from smothering fragile Desert Ecosystems in Arizona. We... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
92 min listen
The Closing of Duke Herbarium: A conversation with Dr. Kathleen Pryer (Director, Duke University Herbarium) and Dr. Michael Windham, (Curator of Vascular Plants, Duke University Herbarium) about the University's Decision to cut costs by closing the herbarium as well as the general... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
97 min listen
Baja Buckwheats, Railroad Stories & Prosopidastrum: Rants about encountering a cool new legume species in the fog deserts and giant cactus landscapes of Baja California, the diversity of perennial raaaaagweeds in the deserts, Gabbro soils, a buckwheat that produces flowers along the ground, Arugula... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
76 min listen
Annotated, Profanity-laden Dichotomous Keys & the Fungal Ecology of Baja Chaparral: A long, disjointed rant about using and writing Dichotomous Keys and why it's sometimes a process of grasping for straws or throwing a bunch of stuff to a wall to see what sticks, what an ideal floral key might look like if it were written by a... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
91 min listen
Javelina Mngmnt, Restoration, & Peyote Vultures: More Deranged Rants, this time about Javelina Management, Getting City Approval for Cactus Restoration and Street Trees, growing endangered plants from seed, Eocene Sandstone, growing xeric ferns from spore, working the Ozol Local and running freight... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
79 min listen
Limestone Desert Ferns, Montezuma Cypress on the Border: Rants about Montezuma Cypress on the Rio Grande, Cool Desert Ferns in West Texas and the Subfamily Cheilanthoideae of the fern family Pteridaceae, DEA permits for Peyote, Mountain Lions vs. Auodads, kind Caucasian Birders behaving at the Mexican... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
65 min listen
Watering Before a Freeze, Goliad Gravels: Rants about South Texas Geology, Geologic Timeline Apps for your D@mn phone, why its better to water before a freeze, being dragged by a freight train leaving Ft. Worth Texas, how much self-hate someone must have in order to lower themselves to the... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
73 min listen
Tucson Again, Agaves, Freezing in NM: Rants about freezing while trying to sleep in the back of a truck in Lordsburg, New Mexico, why Agaves are monocarpic, the importance of having a "target list" should you ever get diagnosed with a terminal illness, fruit dispersal in Frankenia... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
93 min listen
The Flower That Looks Like a Bird (especially if you're high) & other rants: A roughly 77 minute rant about how an Australian plant in the legume Family named Crotalaria cunninghamii "looks a like a bird" but only to humans who have smoked copious amounts of weed and certainly not as a product of natural selection, how... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
82 min listen
How Do Chollas Bang: Michelle Cloud-Hughes is a Cactus researcher, botanist and Desert Rat whole specializes in some of my favorite cactus species - the dreaded Chollas. She has described a new species of Cholla, Cylindropuntia chuckwallensis, and spent 2 decades trudging... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
124 min listen
Plant Anatomy with Jim Mauseth: Jim Mauseth is a wizard with a microscope and a retired professor of plant anatomy at UT Austin, where he taught for 30+ years. Jim is an expert in Plant Anatomy with an emphasis on Cacti. In this podcast we talk about anatomical adaptations of cacti... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
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Going to Jail for Botany: Dr. Peter Breslin is a Botanist out of Tucson Arizona specializing in Cacti, and recently did time in Brewster County Jail for "trespassing" to photograph some rare endemics that only grow on Novaculite (ancient biogenic silica) soils in West Texas.... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
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A Conversation About Peyote with Leo Mercado: A discussion about Peyote conservation being done by Morningstar Conservancy in Tucson, Arizona and the ethnobotany of the Peyote Meeting, as well as what it means to "listen to the plant". by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
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Dallas Plant Rescue & West Texas Dunes: In this episode we rant about : Rescuing and digging thin-soiled limestone prairie plants from a soon-to-be-destroyed site in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area weeks before the bulldozers come by to erect a data center or some other obscenity. Moth... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
98 min listen
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The Conspiracy to Drain The Great Salt Lake: In this episode we talk with Zach Frankl from www Utahrivers.org about the (intentional ) crisis afflicting the Great Salt Lake and why one of the largest inland bodies of water in the world may soon cease to exist, all to enrich lobbyists and feed a... by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
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Short Run/Podcast in a Can

Short Run/Podcast in a Can

Description

Titles in the series (100)

More Episodes from Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't