For a wildly unpredictable new year, Sam and Jordan have a wildly unpredictable Aughtsterion coming at you thanks to Jamie Babbit's 2005 meditation on Very Sad Mysteries: The Quiet. This episode is really one for the books you guys, because it finds your co-hosts lobbying for The Quiet as the definitive 2000s anti-erotic thriller while providing you with a huge insider tip for how to get cast in a Sam Wineman feature film. Elisha Cuthbert is saying fuck your girl next door fantasies. Katy Mixon is giving a tour de force mean girl performance. Edie Falco is a tragic "prescript-a-holic", and taken all together, Babbit is leading this ensemble through a blistering commentary on the tropes of patriarchal Lolita lust in genre. If you wrote this movie off before then wake your ass up. It's time to correct the record.
 
Produced by: Jordan Crucchiola
Music by: Sam Wineman