It can be a hard pill to swallow, but you can’t also become the person you want to be if you’re stuck in the past. There’s no fairytale or storybook ending if you don’t fix what’s within, but that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone!Today we welcome sex and relationships therapist, Todd Baratz! Todd has devoted his entire life to wellness as he actively works against all formalities, traditions and diagnosis. Together Violet and Todd discuss the importance of intimacy negotiation in a relationship, identifying self sabotaging behaviors, and how to fill emotional voids. The two also deep dive into the myth of being “relationship ready”. The truth is, there’s no such thing. Relational love leads to self love. Besties, sometimes the real breakup you need is with your old patterns and behaviors. Contact Todd and find his online courses here: https://www.toddsbaratz.com/Advertise with Almost Adulting at Gumball.fmWhat to Listen For:00:00 Introduction01:02 What it means to start therapy at 10 years old05:03 “I literally just said your partner has fantasies…”08:07 Couple issues tend to come from personal trauma10:17 Our relationships are emotional14:02 Everybody deals with relationships at different pace15:35 Self-sabotaging18:45 Why are we drawn to emotionally unavailable people22:23 How can you tell if someone is emotionally unavailable?23:25 When should you walk away?25:23 Lies that we hear about relationships27:11 It’s normal to sit with your feelings30:03 How do you deal with uncertainty?32:29 The pressure to succeed with relationships35:39 Where’s the line between feeling and thinking?37:56 Stop blaming people about your feelings46:41 Feeling the victim all the time39:38 Why does language matter so much? 43:47 Self discovery happens, it’s not a rush46:39 Being the victim constantly50:01 Can you still be in a relationship while still working on yourself52:27 Good habits to make yourself feel betterConnect with Todd on:InstagramFacebookTikTokWebsiteYour Diagnonsense PodcastGet more content on:@almostadulting on Instagram@violetbenson on Instagram@daddyissues_ on InstagramYouTubeAdvertise with Almost Adulting at Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.