No defaults. That's how Dedeker Winston, and her romantic partners Jase and Alex, see the foundation of their relationship structure: conscious, intentional choice around a lifestyle that works for the people involved in it, rather than defaulting to the monogamy (or serial monogamy) of our culture.

As a former evangelical Christian, Dedeker not only left behind her faith but also many of the ideas based on it, like its messages about sex and relationships.

In this conversation with Bart Campolo, Dedeker talks about hierarchy in poly relationships like hers, the 'relationship escalator', expression of ultimate values, the fallacy of thinking that one person can play every role in one's life, commitment, financial and legal matters, comparisons with blended families and LGBTQ families, the difficulties of being in alternative lifestyles in a society that doesn't see them as normal or good, and takeaways for couples who plan to stay in monogamous relationships.

Dedeker's website can be found at DedekerWinston.com, her poly podcast can be found at Multiamory.com and her book can be found on Amazon.

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This week's episode features Heathen by Stars From Streetlights. Get the song on iTunes or Spotify!

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Humanize Me is hosted by Bart Campolo and is produced by JuxMedia.com.