“It just got too hurtful to think of him in the ground and me still alive…I couldn’t understand the meaning in it.”Today’s episode featured Hayley Ross. If you’d like to reach out to Hayley you can contact her at kattannie@yahoo.com. Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: Growing up in an abusive household, a woman struggles to find meaning in her life, when one night, a sudden, unexpected, violent attack changes her life forever. Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWebsite for Andrew Waits: www.andrdewwaits.com  Content/Trigger Warnings: domestic violence, physical abuse, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, sexual assault, graphic violence, graphic bodily injury, murder, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: ID Tech: idtech.com/happening; Hunter Douglas Blinds: hunterdouglas.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Cylinder Four/Five” – Chris Zabriskie ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.