Episode 316 – When I get an urge or a craving, I'll be better next time this creeps up.   Paul took his last drink on February 29, 2020.  He is from Long Island and is 30 years old.  This is his story of living alcohol-free (AF).   Today's sponsor is Firebrew.  They are also sponsoring our Bozeman retreat.    https://www.mindyourmanna.co/  Discount Code:  RE10off   Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message   What is the difference between being sober and being in recovery?  The definition of sobriety is the condition of not having any measurable levels or effects from alcohol or other drugs.  Sobriety is also considered to be the natural state of a human being at birth.    Recovery signifies you know you have a problem and are trying to fix it.  It doesn't mean you resolve your issues right away.  You recognize something is wrong, which is a critical part of getting help.    https://7summitpathways.com/blog/what-does-it-mean-in-recovery/#:~:text=What%20Being%20in%20Recovery%20Means,synonymous%20with%20%E2%80%9Cin%20remission.%E2%80%9D   When you are in recovery, you feel a kinship to others in recovery, make decisions based on how they will impact your recovery, adjust friendships and relationships based on how they affect recovery, and never let down your guard.    Can you be sober and not in recovery?  Yes, abstaining is the first part.   A recovery mindset allows you to grow and develop your self-awareness.  It helps you question your relationships and boundaries.  Recovery is for everyone. You don't have to be an "alcoholic." Recovery is about being open to change and adjustments in your life – asking for help.   Many of us abstain for some time before we are ready for recovery.  The recovery mindset allows for growth, new connections, and community.   Are you ready to step into the arena of recovery?  We are here and ready for you.   [7:43]  Odette introduces Paul   Paul took his last drink on February 29, 2020.  He is from Long Island, NY, and lives in Brooklyn.  He is a Physical Education teacher and a personal trainer.  He trains for fun, is getting into karate, and likes getting out into nature, which isn't easy in Brooklyn.   Paul opened his training business during COVID. He leveraged COVID as an opportunity to pivot the world of fitness and adapt to the new normal.   Paul started drinking toward the end of high school.  Cannabis was his first substance, not alcohol.  When he went to college, his drinking dialed up.  In his mid 20's cannabis wasn't helping anymore, so his drinking escalated and became a problem.   As Paul reflects, his Dad overdosed when he was twelve, and his mother now has twelve years of sobriety.  Childhood issues contributed to his desire to numb out. His substance abuse was a symptom of early childhood trauma.    [12:23] How was your childhood?  Were you trying to cope or escape from tragedy?   Paul said he is an extrovert.  He is open about his childhood experiences. It helps him to open up.  When Paul's mom re-married and had a baby, postpartum depression kicked in, and she shut out the world by drinking.  Paul said he was naïve and tried to take the bottle away from his mom.  He frequently cared for his brother.  His stepdad lost his temper with his mom's drinking, leading to his stepdad's arrest.  Ultimately, his mom checked into treatment and now has 12 years of sobriety.  Paul leveraged boxing as a way to escape and found solace in fitness.   [16:33] Did you notice that you developed a care-taking aspect of your personality?   Yes, Paul is a caretaker, particularly with the fitness routine and teaching elementary school. He goes out of his way to help people.   [18:12]  Our families can recover together.  Do you think about changing the trajectory of your ancestry?   Paul said a driving factor for him was seeing the lows his mom experienced when drinking, and he knew he didn't want that for himself or his kids.   Paul sees two sides to the coin.  Life is not easy. Addiction is n