We all experience pain and grief and in these seasons, we can feel depths of emotion that are hard to resolve.  How does unresolved grief affect your sales potential? Let’s learn about dealing with unresolved grief today with Herdyne Mercier.    Herdyne Mercier is the Chief Grief Crusader and host of  Redefining Grief Podcast with Herdyne Mercier. Her job is to create safe spaces so that broken hearts can be seen, heard, and validated. The process helps you get unstuck from your unresolved grief and get you to a place of purposeful living.    Redefining grief  Herdyne defines grief as experiencing any kind of loss. This isn’t limited to losing a loved one to death. Grief can also be felt when you move to a new place, experience job loss, go through divorce, or when filing for bankruptcy. Herdyne had the exact feeling when along with her husband, they filed for bankruptcy back in 2007/2008. The real estate market crashed and they couldn’t sell their home. Her husband, James Mercier, could not find a job with a Master’s Degree.  Herdyne had to become the main provider for the family while James delivered newspapers and sushi. As a new mother, she grieved having only thirteen days to spend with her newborn son before she realized she had to go back to work. As James adjusted to being a stay-at-home father, he too grieved as a man because of the job he’d lost.     The grief almost cost them their marriage when Herdyne told her husband that she needed a divorce but James, in his wisdom, suggested they go to counseling together instead. The process of overcoming her own grief helped her create a brand that represents a woman who had forgotten to put on her MASK (an acronym we’ll explain) but is now healed. In her healing, she is now able to serve others.    Days of grieving Many are grieving loss due to the pandemic. People have lost their jobs and some have lost the people they love from this illness. We have all lost something in this pandemic and are trying to figure out how to navigate this new normal. There’s a lot of frustration and pain in the process.    The first step is to not compare your grief story to someone else’s. We may feel that our loss is greater than others but in truth, we can’t actually quantify loss. Our culture does not teach us how to deal with loss. Instead, we focus on aiming for the top and shooting for number one. We want the biggest house and the nicest car, but we aren’t told what to do with our emotions. We’re not guided toward healing when loss occurs.    This is nobody’s fault - not your parents, not your grandparents, or any other people around you. Circumstances are what they are; however,Herdyne teaches to be still and know your purpose. How do you go about doing that?    The truth and connection anchor Emotional anchors will set you free.  The first, is truth.  Be honest about your grief. The next anchor is connection. Look for that person in whom you can confide and be totally transparent. One of the biggest myths a griever has to overcome is the belief they have to do it alone.     Overcoming your truth They say time heals all wounds but Herdyne doesn’t believe this to be true. Time doesn’t heal all wounds. While time may pass on, you can remain emotionally stuck.    Some also believe that keeping yourself busy will help you forget your grief, that if you stay busy, the grief will eventually fade. The truth is, grief won’t just disappear.  Left unchecked, it will manifest in other ways. These alternatives are just pacifying and soothing behaviours. Giving a hungry baby a pacifier only means you’ve helped to delay, but not address, the real problem of hunger.  In the same vein, you need to heal and not just soothe by taking time for yourself,  finding a community, possibly hiring a grief coach or a therapist, and finding a wisdom circle. Seeking wisdom in your situation is how you’ll see the beauty of restoration.    The restoration anchor is the phase where you’ve already managed your grief a