“That taboo dark energy around our sexuality can be a place of great expansion,” says somatic sexologist andeducator Jaiya, who has spent the last two decades studying what turns people on. Jaiya developed something called the Erotic Blueprint, an arousal map that reveals your specific erotic language—sensual, sexual, kinky, energetic, or shapeshifter. She explains how we can discover our own language, better understand a partner’s language, and use this road map to embrace and fulfill our desires. (Take Jaiya's Erotic Blueprint quiz here.)