Sofi took her last drink on April 28, 2014.  This is her story. On today’s episode Paul talks about tough love.  If you are saying you want to quit drinking…but…”you can’t because…fill in the blank ”, or “you can’t because you don’t want to…fill in the blank”, in other words, you want to quit but don’t want to put in the work, well here’s some tough love for you…that doesn’t work.    [11:00] Paul introduces Sofi.    Sofi is 30 years old and it from London.  She has 4 older sisters.  For fun Sofi enjoys exercise and hanging out in nature while listening to podcasts.    [15:00] Give us a background on your drinking.   Sofi says she has always had an addictive personality.  With alcohol Sofi noticed a change around the age of 14.  She was at a boarding school so all her drinking took place on the weekends.  Sofi says that the wheels came off when she went to university.   Freshman year she was going out every night. By her 2nd year of university, when most of her friends had slowed down, Sofi continued her drinking ways.    Sofi never finished university and at the age of 21 was in her fist rehab.  That began a revolving door for the next 4 years…rehab, relapse, rehab, relapse.     [21:00] 13 treatment centers, was there ever a time when you just felt like the next one wasn’t going to work?   Sofi says she liked rehab.  She liked that when she was there, she met people that thought like she did.         [25:50] What does ‘you can’t think your way out of this problem’ mean to you?   Sofi said she had learned all the tools in all of her rehab stays, but because she didn’t know how to use them, she kept relapsing and going back.  It wasn’t until she had a moment of clarity that it all came together and made sense.    [31:15] Talk to us about what you learned in those first 3 years, and then in the 2 years after that.   Sofi says she was learning to live through the highs and lows during the first 3 years.  She also learned, through the AA community, that she wasn’t such a bad person and how to make things right with her family.  The biggest thing that Sofi has learned, and is still learning, is that she does not need to punish herself.       [34:05] How do you address self-loathing?   Sofi says she at the place where she accepts herself, most of the time.    She tries to treat herself as she would treat someone else.    [36:15] Talk to us a little bit about your experience here at Hope Rehab.   Sofi says it is such a fun environment.  Hope Rehab is teaching people how to enjoy life sober.  There is a big emphasis on exercise.      [41:15] Rapid Fire Round   What is a memorable moment, that a life without alcohol, has given you?   Going on holiday with my family again, for the first time sober.   What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?   Hard to narrow it down, but anything sour.    What are some of your favorite resources?   It’s easily other people.    What’s on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?   I’m living it now, going around the world and seeing as much of it as I can.    And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?   Stay connected.    You might need to ditch the booze if...             You have started drinking secretly.          Upcoming Events and Retreats.  Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach - October 8 - 18th, 2020 You can find more information about our events here.   The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out.  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!   Resources mentioned in this episode:   Hope Rehab https://www.hope-rehab-center-thailand.com/   BetterHelp  Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR.      Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY fo