Episode 19: Dating and Mating

FromHidden Brain

Start listening View podcast show

Episode 19: Dating and Mating

FromHidden Brain

ratings:

Length:

22 minutes

Released:

Feb 9, 2016

Format:

Podcast episode

Description

It's almost Valentine's Day, but this week we're not talking about love. Instead, we explore the other forces that drive our romantic relationships.

Released:

Feb 9, 2016

Format:

Podcast episode

Titles in the series (100)

Shankar Vedantam uses science and storytelling to reveal the unconscious patterns that drive human behavior, shape our choices and direct our relationships.

Skip carousel

Welcome to the Hidden Brain Podcast by Hidden Brain
1 min listen
Episode 6: The Science of Fear by Hidden Brain
20 min listen
Episode 17: Resolutions by Hidden Brain
21 min listen
Episode 3: Stereotype Threat by Hidden Brain
22 min listen
Episode 1: Switchtracking by Hidden Brain
28 min listen
Episode 4: Students and Teachers by Hidden Brain
18 min listen
Episode 5: Compassion by Hidden Brain
18 min listen
Episode 12: Humor by Hidden Brain
20 min listen
Episode 22: Originals by Hidden Brain
20 min listen
Episode 18: The Paradox of Forgiveness by Hidden Brain
19 min listen
Episode 25: Dream Jobs by Hidden Brain
20 min listen
Episode 21: Stroke of Genius by Hidden Brain
25 min listen
Episode 7: Lonely Hearts by Hidden Brain
33 min listen
Episode 8: Back Up Plans by Hidden Brain
24 min listen
Episode 20: Remembering Anarcha by Hidden Brain
25 min listen
Episode 13: Terrorism by Hidden Brain
26 min listen
Brain Bonus: Magic Brain by Hidden Brain
5 min listen
Episode 10: Thanksgiving by Hidden Brain
19 min listen
Encore of Episode 3: Stereotype Threat by Hidden Brain
22 min listen
Hidden Brain: A Sneak Peek by Hidden Brain
6 min listen
Episode 2: Near Victories by Hidden Brain
22 min listen
Episode 14: Christmas by Hidden Brain
21 min listen
Episode 16: Misbehaving by Hidden Brain
23 min listen
Episode 24: Tribes and Traitors by Hidden Brain
28 min listen
Episode 27: Losing Alaska by Hidden Brain
23 min listen
Episode 26: Grit by Hidden Brain
28 min listen
Encore of Episode 2: Near Victories by Hidden Brain
22 min listen
Episode 11: Forgery by Hidden Brain
23 min listen
Episode 34: Google at Work by Hidden Brain
27 min listen
Episode 23: Boredom by Hidden Brain
20 min listen

More Episodes from Hidden Brain

Skip carousel

Parents: Keep Out!: If you're a parent or a teacher, you've probably wondered how to balance play and safety for the kids in your care. You don't want to put children in danger, but you also don't want to rob them of the joy of exploration. This week, we talk with psychologist Peter Gray about how this balance has changed — for parents and children alike — and what we can do about it. by Hidden Brain
54 min listen
The Curious Science of Cravings: We've all had those days when all we want is a little treat. Maybe it's a bag of chips, an ice cream sundae or a glass of wine. But sometimes, these desires become all-consuming. This week on the show, psychiatrist Judson Brewer helps us understand the science of cravings, and how we should respond to them. by Hidden Brain
49 min listen
What Is Normal?: Anthropologist Tom Pearson was devastated after his daughter Michaela was diagnosed with Down syndrome. When he began to examine that emotional response, he found himself wrestling with questions that have roiled his field for decades. Early anthropologists would often compare people of different backgrounds and abilities, asking questions like: How is one group different from another? Which one is stronger or smarter? And how do we understand people who don’t fit our expectations? This week, we talk with Pearson about his family’s story, and the evolution of our thinking on disability and difference. by Hidden Brain
51 min listen
The Transformative Ideas of Daniel Kahneman: If you've ever taken an economics class, you were probably taught that people are rational. But about 50 years ago, the psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky began to chip away at this basic assumption. In doing so, they transformed our understanding of human behavior. This week, we remember Kahneman, who recently died at the age of 90, by revisiting our 2018 and 2021 conversations with him. by Hidden Brain
98 min listen
Are You Listening?: Have you ever sat across from your spouse, colleague or friend and realized that while they may be hearing what you're saying, they aren't actually listening? Poor listening can lead to arguments, hurt feelings, and fractured relationships. But the good news is that active, thoughtful listening can profoundly benefit both people in the conversation. This week on the show, psychologist Guy Itzchakov helps us understand where interactions go awry, and how to become a more attentive listener. by Hidden Brain
50 min listen
$Are You Listening?: Have you ever sat across from your spouse, colleague or friend and realized that while they may be hearing what you're saying, they aren't actually listening? Poor listening can lead to arguments, hurt feelings, and fractured relationships. But the good news is that active, thoughtful listening can profoundly benefit both people in the conversation. This week on the show, psychologist Guy Itzchakov helps us understand where interactions go awry, and how to become a more attentive listener.$
The Ventilator: Many of us believe we know how we’d choose to die. We have a sense of how we’d respond to a diagnosis of an incurable illness. This week, we revisit a 2019 episode featuring one family’s decades-long conversation about dying. What they found is that the people we are when death is far in the distance may not be the people we become when death is near. by Hidden Brain
50 min listen
Escaping the Matrix: A little more than a decade ago, researchers began tracking an alarming trend: a dramatic uptick in anxiety and depression among young Americans. Psychologist Jonathan Haidt, like many other researchers, says the increase is related to our use of social media and devices. But he believes it’s also deeper than that — connected to our deepest moral beliefs and how they shape the way we view the world. He says there are simple steps we can take to improve the mental health of kids growing up in the smartphone era. by Hidden Brain
50 min listen
Fear Less: Fear is a normal and healthy response to things that may harm us. But fear can also hold us back from doing the things we want to do. This week, we talk to psychiatrist and neuroscientist Arash Javanbakht about the psychology of fear — how it helps us, how it hurts us, and what we can do to harness it. by Hidden Brain
52 min listen
US 2.0: Lincoln's Dilemma: Over the past few weeks, we've been exploring the psychology of partisanship, and how to effectively handle disagreements with those around us. This week, we conclude our US 2.0 series by turning to the past. We’ll explore how one of the most important leaders in American history — Abraham Lincoln — grappled with the pressing moral question of his time. When, if ever, is it worth compromising your own principles for the sake of greater progress? by Hidden Brain
52 min listen
US 2.0: Not at the Dinner Table: We typically divide the country into two distinct groups: Democrats and Republicans. But what if the real political divide in our country isn’t between “left” and “right”? What if it’s between those who care intensely about politics, and those who don’t? This week, we bring you a favorite 2020 conversation with political scientist Yanna Krupnikov, who offers an alternative way to understand Americans’ political views. by Hidden Brain
49 min listen
US 2.0: Living With Our Differences: Conflicts are inevitable — both at a global scale and in our personal lives. This week, in the latest in our US 2.0 series, psychologist Peter Coleman explains how minor disagreements turn into major rifts, and how we can defuse even the most salient of disputes in our lives. by Hidden Brain
53 min listen
US 2.0: Win Hearts, Then Minds: There's a saying that's attributed to the Dalai Lama: in the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher. It's a nice idea, but in reality, when people don't share our values, it's hard for us to tolerate theirs. This week, we talk with sociologist Robb Willer about the common mistakes we make in trying to persuade others of our point of view — and how we can break out of our echo chambers. by Hidden Brain
49 min listen
US 2.0: What We Have In Common: The United States, we’re told, is increasingly a house divided. Conservatives and progressives are so alienated from each other that conversation is virtually impossible. But are we really as divided as we’re led to believe? As we begin what promises to be a pivotal election season, we're kicking off a new series about how we form our political beliefs. We're calling it "US 2.0." We begin with psychologist Kurt Gray, who studies how we think about our political allies and opponents — and how these insights can help us to chart a new path forward. by Hidden Brain
51 min listen
Are Your Memories Real?: We rely on our memory to understand the world. But what if our memories aren't true? This week, we talk to psychologist Elizabeth Loftus about the malleability of memory — what we remember, and what we think we remember. by Hidden Brain
50 min listen
Finding Focus: We spend more and more of our lives staring at screens. Our cellphones, smartwatches and laptops allow us to communicate instantly with people across the globe, and quickly look up obscure facts. But our digital devices are also altering our brains in profound ways. This week, psychologist Gloria Mark explores how our ability to focus is shrinking, and offers ways to protect our minds in a world filled with endless distractions. by Hidden Brain
48 min listen
Where Do Feelings Come From?: Most of us feel that our emotions are reactions to those outside of us. Someone cuts us off in traffic, and we say that the other driver made us upset. A friend brings over food when we're sick, and we say the friend offered us comfort. But psychologist and neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett argues that our feelings are not, in fact, responses to the world — they're really predictions about the world. And she says we can exercise more control over those predictions than we realize. by Hidden Brain
50 min listen
Making the Most of Your Mistakes: When we're learning, or trying new things, mistakes are inevitable. Some of these mistakes provide us with valuable information, while others are just harmful. This week, we kick off the new year with researcher Amy Edmondson, who explains the difference between constructive failures and those we should try to avoid. by Hidden Brain
52 min listen
What Would Socrates Do?: Humans have wrestled with questions about identity and purpose for millennia. So it’s no surprise that the insights of people who lived hundreds or even thousands of years ago have stood the test of time. This week, philosopher Tamar Gendler explores how three great thinkers from ancient Greece understood the human psyche, and what we can still learn from their wisdom today. by Hidden Brain
50 min listen
How to Believe in Yourself: When was the last time you set a goal and struggled to reach it? Perhaps you're trying to write a novel but can't seem to get started. Or maybe you want to master a sport, but you keep making the same mistakes over and over again. This week, organizational psychologist Adam Grant guides us through the science of human potential, and teaches us how to uncover our own abilities. by Hidden Brain
50 min listen
The Ugly Side of Beauty: We like to tell kids, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” But from a very early age, we humans are doing just that — judging others based on how they look. This week, we bring you the second part of our look at the science of beauty and talk with psychologists Vivian Zayas and Stefanie Johnson about how appearances can often lead us astray. by Hidden Brain
51 min listen
The Mystery of Beauty: Think about the last time you were struck by a gorgeous painting in a museum, or heard a song that brought you to tears. All of us know what it’s like to be stopped in our tracks by a beautiful sight. But scientists are still puzzling over why this is the case. What’s the point of beauty? Why is it seemingly so important to us? This week on the show, neuroscientist Anjan Chatterjee explains the function of beauty in our daily lives. Then, Nobel laureate Frank Wilczek describes how beauty served a purpose in some of the biggest scientific breakthroughs of our time. by Hidden Brain
49 min listen
Healing 2.0: The Power of Apologies: Why is it so hard to say 'I'm sorry?' In the final episode of our Healing 2.0 series, we talk with psychologist Tyler Okimoto about the mental barriers that keep us from admitting when we've done something wrong, as well as the transformative power of apologies by Hidden Brain
50 min listen
Healing 2.0: Disrupting Death: In 2019, Justin Harrison's mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer. But by the time she died, he had figured out how to keep a part of her alive...forever. This week, the strange and provocative story of a man who believes that grief is not inevitable — that we can, in a way, cheat death. by Hidden Brain
53 min listen
Healing 2.0: Life After Loss: You've probably heard that people who lose a loved one may go through what are known as the "five stages" of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But many people find that their grief doesn't follow this model at all. In the latest installment of our Healing 2.0 series, we revisit our 2022 conversation with resilience researcher Lucy Hone. Lucy shares the techniques she learned to cope after a devastating loss in her own life. by Hidden Brain
49 min listen
Healing 2.0: What We Gain from Pain: We’ve all heard the saying, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” But is there any truth to this idea? This week, we explore the concept of post-traumatic growth with psychologist Eranda Jayawickreme. He finds that pain can have benefits — but not necessarily the ones we expect. by Hidden Brain
49 min listen
Healing 2.0: Change Your Story, Change Your Life: We all tell stories about ourselves, often without realizing we’re doing so. How we frame those stories can profoundly shape our lives. In the kickoff episode to our monthlong series on healing, psychologist Jonathan Adler shares how to tell our stories in ways that enhance our wellbeing. by Hidden Brain
55 min listen
The Enemies of Gratitude: One of the mysteries of human behavior is that it’s often easier for us to focus on what’s going wrong than on what’s going right in our lives. Why is that? Psychologist Thomas Gilovich studies the barriers that prevent us from feeling gratitude, and how we can overcome them. by Hidden Brain
50 min listen
Follow the Anomalies: As we move through our lives, we have to make decisions both big and small. Some are banal: What will I eat for breakfast today? Should I drive or bike to work? Others are more complicated: How much should I contribute to my 401k? What career should I pursue? Today on the show, behavioral economist Richard Thaler explains why our decision making is often far more nuanced than economic models would suggest. Today on the show, behavioral economist Richard Thaler explains why we make the decisions we do, and why they often aren't the most rational. by Hidden Brain
49 min listen
How to Spot a Scam: We like to think that con artists only prey upon the weak, or gullible. But psychologist Dan Simons says all of us can fall victim to scams, because the best scammers know how to take advantage of our biases and blindspots. by Hidden Brain
52 min listen
Escaping Perfectionism: Perfectionism is everyone’s favorite flaw. It’s easy to assume that our push to be perfect is what leads to academic, athletic, and professional success. But psychologist Thomas Curran says perfectionism has a dark side, and that there are much healthier ways to strive for excellence. by Hidden Brain
53 min listen

Related podcast episodes

Skip carousel

Episode 17: Resolutions by Hidden Brain
21 min listen
Episode 13: Terrorism by Hidden Brain
26 min listen
Episode 15: Loss and Renewal by Hidden Brain
25 min listen
Episode 27: Losing Alaska by Hidden Brain
23 min listen
Episode 11: Forgery by Hidden Brain
23 min listen
Episode 16: Misbehaving by Hidden Brain
23 min listen
Episode 32: The Scientific Process by Hidden Brain
28 min listen
Episode 33: Food for Thought by Hidden Brain
19 min listen
Episode 31: Your Brain on Uber by Hidden Brain
30 min listen
Episode 18: The Paradox of Forgiveness by Hidden Brain
19 min listen
Episode 10: Thanksgiving by Hidden Brain
19 min listen
Episode 12: Humor by Hidden Brain
20 min listen
Episode 25: Dream Jobs by Hidden Brain
20 min listen
Encore of Episode 21: Stroke of Genius by Hidden Brain
24 min listen
Episode 14: Christmas by Hidden Brain
21 min listen
Episode 9: Aziz Ansari on Modern Love by Hidden Brain
26 min listen
Episode 34: Google at Work by Hidden Brain
27 min listen
Episode 42: Decide Already! by Hidden Brain
22 min listen
Episode 43: The Perils of Power by Hidden Brain
26 min listen
Episode 20: Remembering Anarcha by Hidden Brain
25 min listen
Episode 24: Tribes and Traitors by Hidden Brain
28 min listen
Episode 28: #AirbnbWhileBlack by Hidden Brain
22 min listen
Episode 39: Vacations by Hidden Brain
17 min listen
Episode 29: Traffic by Hidden Brain
16 min listen
Episode 46: Blessings in Disguise? by Hidden Brain
21 min listen
Encore of Episode 3: Stereotype Threat by Hidden Brain
22 min listen
Episode 23: Boredom by Hidden Brain
20 min listen
Episode 44: Our Politics, Our Parenting by Hidden Brain
22 min listen
Episode 22: Originals by Hidden Brain
20 min listen
Episode 30: WOOP, There It Is by Hidden Brain
18 min listen

Discover this podcast and so much more

Episode 19: Dating and Mating

Episode 19: Dating and Mating

Description

Titles in the series (100)

More Episodes from Hidden Brain

Related podcast episodes