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RE 90: Why Being a Dry Drunk and Using Will Power Doesn't Work.

RE 90: Why Being a Dry Drunk and Using Will Power Doesn't Work.

FromRecovery Elevator ?


RE 90: Why Being a Dry Drunk and Using Will Power Doesn't Work.

FromRecovery Elevator ?

ratings:
Length:
42 minutes
Released:
Nov 7, 2016
Format:
Podcast episode

Description

Christine has been sober for 129 days... This is her story… Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE! SHOW NOTES What is a dry drunk? It is someone who just doesn’t drink anymore, who has 'quit' using sheer willpower... ***Spoiler Alert*** Willpower eventually runs out. We need a program, something and someone to fall back on to support us. Your program can look completely unique to yourself and doesn't just have to be AA (although many do recommend it). When you quit using sheer willpower, sure, you become healthier, physically feeling like you’ve been born again and the memory of passing out in a Cracker Barrel buffet line begins to fade. You'll start to gain confidence in your recent found 'sober' success and you say to yourself, "I did this. I quit. I got this." (Uh-oh, those three little words, think RE #86... Problem right there!) Eventually, we will forget entirely about the Cracker Barrel buffet line, which is a problem because, A – their cornbread is fantastic and, B – that was the reason you quit drinking. That was not a highlight in your life.  Studies show that humans have selective memory and we tend to remember the good things (i.e. the Cornbread) and not the bad things (i.e. the Ambulance, the Buffet Line, and the Cracker Barrel experience). As a dry drunk, when we quit drinking, our genius plan is to simply not drink, thinking that one day we’ll be able to drink normally again. If you have this thought, don’t worry, every alcoholic has, but the dry drunks don’t ever address this or relinquish the thought. The key is to surrender. This is what I call 'white knuckling it'. I think everyone is white knuckling it when they quit drinking but the dry drunks keep white knuckling it. Right about the time when all the physical healing has taken place (for me, it took over a year), is when the true white knuckling takes place. It’s when Gary (Paul's alter-ego) starts to make an appearance. It’s when 'we' start having the internal dialogue of justification. It’s when our unconscious minds have seen the barrage of alcohol adds on social media, television, and everywhere else our open eyes and ears look. This is when the cognitive dissonance starts to take place... Translation, we need help! We can't do this alone... [ 08:12 ] Paul introduces Christine. Christine's last drink was June 13th of 2016, about 129 days ago. She has been sober for just over 4 months. Christine grew up in a small town in central Michigan. She is now studying chemistry at Montana State University and is almost finished with her Ph.D. She loves hunting, fishing, camping and anything else outside... [ 09:23 ] Paul talks about first meeting Christine in 2011 when he was a dry drunk and how she helped him in 2014 to make a change after hitting his bottom. Christine remembers that Paul was hurting so badly and she was so glad that Paul gave her a call. There were lots of tears, lots and lots of tears (and it wasn't just the horses and pastures they were passing causing an allergic reaction) as they drove down canyon from Big Sky Ski Resort where Paul was DJ-ing a wedding. Christine urged Paul to call his mom, dad, and brother, to seek support... Christine has been an integral part of Paul's sobriety. [ 14:03 ] Talk to us about your Elevator. What was your bottom? "Bottoms are always defined differently... I had decided back in December of 2015 to quit drinking. I stopped drinking for 2 weeks before deciding that I wasn't a 'quitter'! I picked right up where I left off. I wasn't fully committed, I hadn't taken the steps I needed." In June, Christine had a "what am I doing with my life" moment on her way to fishing... She had a couple beers on the road and stopped to let the dog out before getting to the fishing spot, where she realized that her bottle of whiskey had spilled everywhere. "I was horrified, my heart started to flutte
Released:
Nov 7, 2016
Format:
Podcast episode

Titles in the series (100)

Hello, I'm Paul, and I've realized that alcohol is shit. Alcohol isn't what I thought it was. Alcohol used to be my best friend, until it turned its back on me. When I first started drinking, I could have a couple and then stop, but within time stopping became a struggle. I've tried to set boundaries on my drinking like never drink alone, and not before 5 pm but eventually found myself drinking alone before 5 pm, oops. When I'm not drinking, I'm thinking about alcohol. When I am drinking, I think I should probably quit. After grappling with alcohol for over a decade and a summer from hell in 2014, I decided on September 7th, 2014 to stop drinking and haven't looked back. I started the Recovery Elevator podcast to create accountability for myself and wasn't too concerned about if anyone was listening. Five million downloads later and the podcast has evolved into an online recovery community, in-person meet-ups retreats and we are even creating sober adventure travel itineraries to places like Peru, Asia, and Europe! Don't make the same mistakes I did in early recovery. Hear from guests who are successfully navigating early sobriety. It won't be easy, but you can do this. Similar to other recovery podcasts like This Naked Mind, the Shair Podcast, and the Recovered Podcast, Paul discusses a topic and then interviews someone who is embarking upon a life without alcohol.