Sara, with a sobriety date of January 16, 2019, shares her story. On today’s episode Paul shares an internet meme that he saw and loved… “Only in my pain, did I find my will.          Only in my chaos, did I learn to be still.          Only in my fear, did I find my might.          Only in my darkness, did I see my light.” Starting to see a theme, Paul added a few lines…          Only through my self-loathing was I able to love myself. Only through my fears was I able to see how little it has ever served                   me.  Only through guilt was I able to see that all humans make mistakes, and I’m human. Only through shame did I realize I don’t owe anyone in life an explanation, ever again. Only through my failures was I able to see what I was doing wrong and then make the necessary corrections.  Only through blacking out was I able to recognize the misery with living without light.  Only with a crushing headache after a heavy night of drinking was I able to appreciate a clear mind. Only through my addiction was I able to see the path that I didn’t want to take and clearly see that path that I did want to take.  The trend we are seeing here is called ‘the backward law’.  It when we experience the suffering before we experience the bliss on the other side.  This is also Newton’s first law of motion.  If you ignore the nudge to quit drinking it will quickly become an elbow to the shoulder, a kick to the groin, then a full Andre the Giant body slam.  SHOW NOTES [10:00] Paul introduces Sara.  Sara with a sobriety date of January 16, 2019, has been sober for 4 months, 22 days.  She is from Melbourne, Australia.  She is 36 years old.  Sara is single and is studying counseling and coaching.  She loves to read nonfiction books on human behavior, phycology, self-development, and relationships.  [13:00] Give us a background on your drinking.  Sara started drinking at the age of 13.  She says from the beginning she couldn’t moderate and that alcohol gave her a sense of belonging.  Over the years she found herself gravitating towards friendships with people that liked to drink.  All her friends liked to party but she had a vague feeling that wasn’t a healthy way to live.  [14:31] When did you first have the notion that it wasn’t a healthy way to live?  Sara says it was a long time before she realized it wasn’t a healthy way to live but she did know was that the repercussions from her drinking were terrible straight off the bat.  Every time Sara drank, she would do something she was ashamed of.  She never had an off switch and never had a time when she was a ‘normal’ drinker.  [15:25] Talk to us about your 20s.  By the time she was 17 Sara had a calendar on the wall and was ticking off days that she didn’t drink.  She could only get 2 days straight and found it frustrating why she couldn’t get more.  This caused her to feel shame and inadequacy as a human.  In her 20s she was a bargirl.  She would go to the bars with her friends or alone.  At 21 she felt the desperation of not knowing what to do about her drinking, she found herself on her knees at a park begging for help.  Her prayers were not answered and she continued to drink and continued to do geographicals within Melbourne.  At 28 Sara decided to go overseas.  She was struggling with her purpose in life and thought she would find herself and sort her drinking out.  Instead of finding herself she just found a whole lot of bars. Looking back on that time it feels like wasted time because instead of seeing the world she just drank.   [20:25] When did you decide to go back to Australia and that maybe quitting drinking was part of the grander scheme of things? Sara had actually gone to AA when she was 23 and had given up drinking for about 6 months, so she knew AA existed, so she ended up going back to AA in Scotland and England.  She had stints of 6 months and 3 months sobriety and says that was some of the most joyous times of her travels.  [20:55] What do you think happened after