"I felt broken. Physically. Emotionally. I had a complete breakdown. I felt like a broken human. I was so tired. Lifeless. And I finally Googled the one thing I hadn't really wanted to Google." In just a few days, Annie — my spankin' new daughter — will be three months old. That means I will have reached the end of what is commonly referred to as "the fourth trimester." That period postpartum when the baby still thinks its in the womb, and the mom is — I'm not sure what the mom is. But I know that for me, this fourth trimester has been tough. Trying. Exhausting. Emotional. Wonderful, amazing, monumental — but definitely hard. So on this solo episode, I talk about all of it: the pumping, the boob stuff, the expectations, the realities, and the truths. I talk about why I've been living in fear, and open up about what went down over the holidays, and how it ended with me Googling and really looking into postpartum depression. Plus, I talk about having help — thank god for help! — and answer listener questions. Thank you to AfterShokz for sponsoring this episode of the Ali on the Run Show! CLICK HERE for $50 off your wireless headphone bundle!   What I mention on this episode: "I Had a Baby!" Episode 106 of the Ali on the Run Show Laura Anderson on Episode 92 of the Ali on the Run Show Chrissy Teigen Opens Up for the First Time About Her Postpartum Depression, via Glamour Michele Gonzalez on Episode 19 of the Ali on the Run Show Motherhood New Jersey Half Marathon The 5 Love Languages Annie's Birth Story Pregnancy + Baby Q&A Follow Ali: Instagram @aliontherun1 Facebook Twitter @aliontherun1 Blog Strava Listen & Subscribe: Apple Podcasts Spotify SoundCloud Overcast Stitcher Google Play SUPPORT the Ali on the Run Show! If you’re enjoying the show, please subscribe and leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Spread the run love. And if you liked this episode, share it with your friends!