Are We Born to Serve? An Ethnic Minority Serves with Fervor: ARE WE BORN TO SERVE?, #2

By Miranda P. YEOH

What is it like for an ethnic minority to teach in a school with predominantly male students from the largest ethnic group in the country? Would the students with privileges have a sense of entitlement? How does it affect their motivation to learn and education outcomes? The author explores the theme of Narcissism in her community. Readers see the author serving passionately, trying to inspire students, and struggling with her weaknesses amidst work duties, family responsibilities, church commitments, and self-improvement. With her focus on serving her students in school and college, would retirement also be a time to serve others? Would she be attracting selfish persons who desire service from others? Would she fall for their lies, gaslighting, and manipulation?

      In the book "Are We Born to Serve? An Ethnic Minority Serves with Fervor," the award-winning author discusses her life as a daughter, niece, educator, researcher, and Christian. She discusses her career experiences spanning 38 years of teaching, lecturing, research, and publishing. The book offers readers a close-up glimpse into the life and work of a dedicated and innovative educator and researcher. The author hopes that her experiences, illustrations, and context will allow readers, including minorities, educators, researchers, and Christians, to find her experiences overcoming issues as an ethnic minority valuable and pertinent to their lives. Her story continues beyond retirement, offering rich insights into post-career purpose, her contributions to the community, and the unexpected fruitfulness her efforts yielded. Get the book!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Miranda P. YEOH
• Release date: Dec 8, 2024
• ISBN: 9798227347886

Book preview

​ABOUT THE BOOK

What is it like for an ethnic minority to teach in a school with predominantly male students from the largest ethnic group in the country? Would the students with privileges have a sense of entitlement? How does it affect their motivation to learn and education outcomes? The author explores the theme of Narcissism in her community. Readers see the author serving passionately, trying to inspire students, and struggling with her weaknesses amidst work duties, family responsibilities, church commitments, and self-improvement. With her focus on serving her students in school and college, would retirement also be a time to serve others? Would she be attracting selfish persons who desire service from others? Would she fall for their lies, gaslighting, and manipulation?

In the book Are We Born to Serve? An Ethnic Minority Serves with Fervor, the award-winning author discusses her life as a daughter, niece, educator, researcher, and Christian. She discusses her career experiences spanning 38 years of teaching, lecturing, research, and publishing. The book offers readers a close-up glimpse into the life and work of a dedicated and innovative educator and researcher. The author hopes that her experiences, illustrations, and context will allow readers, including minorities, educators, researchers, and Christians, to find her experiences overcoming issues as an ethnic minority valuable and pertinent to their lives. Her story continues beyond retirement, offering rich insights into post-career purpose, her contributions to the community, and the unexpected fruitfulness her efforts yielded. Get the book!

CHAPTER 1

TEACHING IN KAJANG

IT WAS 1980. EARLY that year, the Rubik’s Cube burst onto the international scene, debuting at toy fairs in London, Paris, Nuremberg, and New York. I heard about it on the news. Dad also heard about the debut of the Rubik’s Cube. He observed its growing popularity among the children at our flat in Penang.

I was still doing my teaching practice. I had phoned Dad regularly during this period. In early May, I spoke with him again. I was about to complete my teaching practice at Seri Kembangan Secondary School (abbreviated SMKSK in Malay). Seri Kembangan, in Selangor state, was near my university, UPM. At that time, only the main roads had a tar surface; the narrow lanes around the factories were laterite. My friends and I had cycled on campus, but I wouldn’t need the bicycle anymore. I sold it to a first-year student. I was about to begin formal teaching and decided I would buy a motorbike as soon as possible.

On the phone, Dad said, The young children and teenagers always have their cubes with them. They are so focused on getting the solution. I wonder if they will become more intelligent.

I said, We will know when the data is available after a few years.

In the meantime, I wonder if their eyesight will suffer.

They’re young. They may recover. I’m excited about my teaching. I will begin in early June.

Dad said, I know you’ll want to do your best, but do not have high expectations of the students. There will be a certain number who can’t be bothered with gaining knowledge; they don’t see its value. Their main goals in life are to eat well and reproduce. Some leaders want the country’s population to double.

Okay, Pa. Thanks. I want to do my best in teaching. I benefited from good teachers. I must give back, but I also want to pursue a master’s degree and a Ph.D. I don’t know when I’ll achieve my goals. But I’ll remember your advice. You have more experience than I do.

Try to further your studies without a break in your teaching. Then your service will not be interrupted.

Okay, Pa. I could understand what my father wanted for my future good.

Take care. Don’t throw pearls to swine who may turn around and attack you. Do you have enough money to pay the tuition fees for last semester?

Yes, Pa. I’ll pay the fees when I get my results at the end of May. The transcript should be available then.

Oh, Aunt wants to talk to you.

HOW WAS YOUR DAY, AUNT CL? What did you cook today?

My aunt didn’t bother with my questions. She said, I wish you were teaching in Penang. Over there, you have no support system to have a family. You should relax and think of having your own family.

I almost laughed. That was unusual for my aunt, who often cautioned me about men and their possible nefarious motives. But I couldn’t get angry with Aunt CL; she must speak her mind. Yet I didn’t want to encourage her trend of thought. I didn’t need any discord with my aunt on this matter. I had enough internal conflict as it was. Besides, my career was foremost on my mind.

Who doesn’t want to love and be loved? But my parents’ marriage is hardly an example of enduring love. Besides, I have been single, productive, and happy all these years.

My aunt said, We made mistakes with our relationships. We are old; we don’t want you to be lonely. You cannot continue to believe that because your dad’s marriage crumbled, the same will happen to most people, to you. We want you to be happy. You worked so hard. Some time back, you told me you were not ready for relationships. But you cannot say that forever.

I still believe that, Aunt. Dad is more patient than you or I, but he had a tumultuous marriage. Today, you’re not consistent. You’re the aunt who always cautioned Alice and me about men. Dad didn’t encourage or discourage me in that matter.

Your dad is afraid of losing you. He would be happy if you were always his little girl. Many fathers are the same. But he’s not always right. He was too soft with your mother on many occasions, even when she went to his office to scream at him and ask for more money.

Yes. That’s the other point. Dad supported me when I said I would prefer to avoid those unpleasant scenes with Mother.

Both you and your dad shouldn’t be so afraid of your mother and her spiteful tongue.

But we are, Aunt. An intelligent person avoids battles.

So does a coward.

I sighed. I knew Aunt CL loved me. I didn’t want to continue the argument that was hurting my psyche. I said, Don’t worry, Aunt. I will be careful. We have our family values. Even when alone, I haven’t felt lonely. Like you, I sing hymns. I’m more excited about my teaching than anything else. I’ll call again when I’ve settled in.

I WAS ALONE AT THE public phone booth. It was a hot afternoon after school. My throat felt dry like the parched laterite lane outside the phone booth, scorched by the Serdang sun. The conversation with my aunt stirred unrest within me; the unrest was the unwanted guest I couldn’t remove from my heart. Was it due to the trauma my mother caused me? I tried to squelch it by keeping busy and pushing it aside. Yes, I wanted to avoid the unpleasant scenes that Dad had to endure from Mother. Mother loved to march into his office at the school on Northam Road to scream at Dad and demand more money. Would she do that to me if I worked in Penang?

And yet, I longed for my hometown. I remember the verse I penned just before I left for varsity.

"This sadness I feel about leaving Penang,

Would I, in busyness, forget?

Would it be replaced with tenfold joy?

If God would lead me back?"

I sighed. I knew my desires conflicted, but I could only choose one option. I had already determined not to return to my home state. Why should I have second thoughts? Suddenly, I realized I had to talk with someone who would understand a deep need in my psyche. On impulse, I called Dr. Kay.

Hello. Her voice sounded cheerful.

Good day, Dr. Kay. I’m Miranda. I want to thank you for helping me so much with my psychological issues. Can we talk for a few minutes?

You’re most welcome. We can talk today. I’m free.

I’ve found relationships difficult. How much can I trust other people? My mother was a selfish woman who had no time for me.

I saw you’re close with Sofia. Continue to build friendships like that. We’re all human and imperfect, but you can see the good in others and appreciate that.

I asked you about the children of narcissistic parents.

Yes. I recall that. You’re not the Golden Child. You suffered. Your experiences will teach you how to empathize with victims of narcissistic abuse and underdogs. You will feel their pain. It’s a blessing from your suffering. Perhaps you may even become a narcissism coach if the need arises.

Are there many narcissists in our modern society?

There may be 10 to 20% in the general society. Maybe 50% among folks at the top – the most successful. Our society values wealth. Narcs are successful; they’re relentless in their pursuit of material success.

Are they also in churches?

At churches, they may be the covert type who have memorized the Bible. But they don’t apply it to change themselves. The narc is needy of praise, but they do not validate others. You will recognize them.

I see.

You must be alert. The narc’s attitude is: ‘Feed me, validate me.’ But you’re better prepared than most. I will be returning to the States soon. I have responsibilities at home. Malaysian society thinks that everyone must pair up. But we value our individualism. Christians also value their individualism, even though we love the Lord Jesus.

Yes. I don’t wish to sacrifice my dreams. A relationship may require giving up my dreams.

Anyone who spends some time with you would know that. It’s one of your non-negotiables. But you’re also responsible, kind, and thoughtful of others. Your real friends will value you for those qualities. God will lead you to make good friends.

What a blessing you are to me. You listen and understand my pain. You showed me that I must listen to others and withhold judgment. Thanks so much, Dr. Kay. I will remember you.

Take care, Miranda. Her last words sounded more like Dad and Aunt. The concern was of the same degree. Would I meet Dr. Kay again? I might not; I felt a lump in my throat. I left the phone booth. I wasn’t exactly walking on air. But I had a spring in my step.

SOFIA AND I WERE AT the admin office. We stood at the counter at the side of the block.

Good morning, Madam. We need to collect our results.

Good. You’re excited; you’re also early. I hope all our graduating students collect their transcripts soon. What are your names?

I’m Sofia Soon, and my friend is Miranda Yeoh.

Yes. I see your names on my list. Miranda has to pay the balance of the fees for Semester 8 at the Treasury Counter behind this block.

I said, Yes. I will be back soon. I didn’t see other students. It’s still early.

The clerk said, The early birds catch the worms. I can tell you about your postings. You don’t have to come next week. Hmm, Sofia goes to Kota Baru, Kelantan. Miranda must report to Kajang High School. You must both report on June 2. It’s a Monday. [Kajang is a town 12 miles from my university, UPM, in Serdang.]

We completed our tasks in fifteen minutes. Let’s have some breakfast. I should give you a treat, Sofia.

Okay. We can have some spicy rice noodles with veggies and fried eggs. And hot coffee. Or do you prefer tea?

I WAS EXCITED AND HAPPY. Wouldn’t you feel the same if you were about to begin your formal teaching career at long last? I was a demonstrator at the Chemistry lab at my university for the past three years. I have been giving tuition since I was 15: those jobs provided some cash. Moreover, they provided an avenue for me to learn to communicate effectively, listen attentively, and understand the views of others. So, I was looking forward to working as a professional.

Sofia will always be in my fond memories, even if I don’t meet her again. Sofia and I were busy, committed people. We would put 100% of ourselves into our work. Her parents had come to fetch her home. Sofia introduced me to them, and I had seen them off.

I could see that the relationship between Sofia’s parents was warm, loving, and mutually supportive. Sofia did not have the degree of childhood trauma that I possessed. Yet, Sofia had the heart to ask me about it because she cared. She could fully empathize with me regarding my mother and uncle. I had to spend time alone to psychoanalyze myself by applying the knowledge from our Psychology class. And I was thankful for Sofia. She said, Among us, you overcame the greatest odds. You were without a scholarship.

The following morning, I packed my clothes and possessions in two bags, filled my water bottle, and walked to the bus station. I wasn’t afraid to be single. I was fine being alone; it was the time to reflect and pray. I took the rocky ride in a Toong Fung bus from Serdang through Balakong to Kajang. I had the same luggage case that I had used for all these years. I was on my way to get ready to report the following Monday, June 2, 1980, to teach at Kajang High School (KHS). I would stay at Mrs. Grace’s house. Ashok and Carol were just a few doors away. I arranged with Mrs. Grace and paid for the room and the evening meal. It was just RM180 each month; it was so reasonable.

Yes, I knew I had overcome many hurdles, as Sofia once commented. Obstacles seemed to be a recurring theme. Would the rest of my life be the same pattern: using my limited resources and energy to overcome issues? Yet, didn’t the difficulties make me humbler, more patient, and aware of my dependence upon God? Throughout all these years, I observed God’s mercy towards me. I was learning to cast myself upon God (1 Peter 5: 6-7, NKJV). I had nothing to boast about; I lacked the advantages of a peaceful childhood in a home that catered to my emotional needs. Yes, I had felt deprived on some occasions. But could I blame my elders? They were imperfect, but they did their best with what they had. I should be thankful. Other children could have suffered more trauma. Should I fear having to overcome new issues or more hurdles?

My Teaching Begins

A SHORT WHILE AGO, it was study week for our eighth semester, the last one. We met in the library, sharing a long table. It was late: almost time for the buzzer to sound. We preferred to study together at the library at night. Like our ancestors, we practiced group safety.

Gan said, Once I get a job, I will relax, take things easy, settle down, and build a family. I need emotional security.

Sofia said, I agree. What about you, Miranda? Any thoughts?

I preferred to keep quiet. Reluctantly, I said, My parents’ relationship and divorce did not prepare me for that mindset. But in our country, there’s pressure for young people to pair up. I didn’t tell them about my phone conversation with Dr. Kay. It didn’t seem necessary.

Perhaps I alone, among my classmates, wanted to continue my studies. I might apply for the Master of Science program in the Faculty of Education. I was not content with my results for the Bachelor’s degree. I got a BSc (Hons), but my grade point average was not close to 4.0 despite my hard work. Was I wrong to think I deserved better? Yet, I wanted to continue my studies and do a postgraduate program. However, I could not put a date on my plan. I wasn’t even sure of which program of study I should undertake. I had to take things as they came along.

Suddenly, I remembered Mr. Ooi, our principal math teacher at PFS. He had distinctions in all subjects for the Higher School Certificate; he was one of the top students of his batch at Chung Ling High School. I asked him why he didn’t continue to study. And Mr. Ooi said only his friends who were dissatisfied with their results continued with a postgraduate program. Yes, I was the one dissatisfied with my results. However, I wanted to be a dedicated teacher to make a difference in the lives of my students. At the same time, I wanted to be a lifelong scholar. The two goals need not be mutually exclusive. But would I achieve these aims? I would need to put my shoulder to the wheel. So, I didn’t fix a date for when I should apply for the upcoming program of study.

I was careful to avoid relationships that would not be worthwhile. I was not free; I had family commitments. I would have career commitments. I could not afford to have a boyfriend or many friends. But I could have some friends. I missed Choo and other friends in the CF. I missed our cell group studies and discussions. Two of my seniors in the CF had stopped professing faith. However, my belief in the existence of God and the forgiveness of my sins meant a lot to me.

I decided then that as soon as I started working, I would look for a Christian church and befriend those of the same faith. I remembered the hymn Take Time to be Holy. One of the lines encouraged me to make friends of God’s children, help those who are weak. Who is weak if it’s not me? Would other people say the same of themselves? I knew that I had to cling to the promises in the Bible. Otherwise, I would live for earthly treasures and pleasures.

IT WAS JUNE 1980 WHEN I began teaching. Kajang High School was a premier school. It was a boys’ school, except for the sixth form. In that sense, it resembled Penang Free School, where I studied in the sixth form. In April 1980, the national soccer team qualified for the Summer Olympics, defeating South Korea 2-1 in a play-off match at the National Stadium in Kuala Lumpur (KL). Our athletes worked hard. They lacked the height and build, but they had skills and determination. My students were still in a state of euphoria. The students watched the games on TV; there was a color TV in the residential area for students whose homes were far from the school.  

At school, I taught two science classes. These 16 to 18-year-old students were in Forms 4 and 5 and were all boys. They were energetic, but only 50% were interested in their studies. I did my best to teach them all, especially those who wanted to learn. It was what I had trained to do. But what should I do with the ones who preferred a non-academic path? From what they shared, I knew they loved sports and games more than academic pursuits. Their priorities differed from mine when I was a teenager; I valued education. Could I use my education in psychology to guide their interest? Would I succeed when my time on task was less than 175 minutes each week? Had other teachers tried and given up? It seemed possible. But I should give it my best shot. 

However, the bulk of my workload was with the Form 6 students. Form 6 classes were co-ed, with about equal numbers of boys and girls. They had waited a long time for a physics teacher. They were disciplined, diligent, and joyful that someone had arrived to teach them. Immediately, I informed them that my major was not physics, but I would do my best. At the university, I majored in biochemistry.

Ian Foo, a tall prefect sitting at the back, said, What is biochemistry?

Biochemistry (or biological chemistry) is the study of the chemical processes in living cells and organisms.

After the first lesson, Foo and Aun met me in the staffroom. They had their duties; they had no breaks. Madam, if you wish to join our badminton, we invite you to play or watch at 4 p.m. on weekdays. Rahman and the others are often with us. I thanked them.

The students had no issues with my major. I had two physics classes; I prepared and worked out examples for each chapter. The lessons were fun. I told the students that teachers had to teach whatever subjects were required.

I met the School Head and submitted all my documents to him. Mr. Shukri was a quiet Malay man; he was about to retire by the end of the year or the following year. He had diabetes. Mr. Shukri’s optional retirement would begin when he could get a suitable replacement.

Besides the science classes, I had one English class. The students were 14 to 15 years old. It was a permanent relief class, and I wouldn’t have more relief classes until the teacher returned from maternity leave. We served at the pleasure of the school and taught subjects that were not our majors.

OUR STUDENTS HAD THEIR name tags sewn on their shirt pockets. Azmi was a small and thin 15-year-old. He should be sitting in front. But he was at the back of the class. He often turned to talk to Suhaimi, a chubby prefect behind him. It was my first class of permanent relief. It was the turn of the students in their row to read a paragraph each from the comprehension text. The first four boys read their respective portions. It was Azmi’s turn.

I said, It’s your turn, Azmi.

"Saya tak tahu baca. Tak mahu baca." [I don’t know how to read; I don’t want to read.]

What a shock; could he be this poor at English? I said, Why not try, Azmi? We’re all learning.

Suhaimi said, He doesn’t read. Don’t force him. He’s patriotic and doesn’t like English.

I was surprised. What was happening? But when I heard patriotic, I knew it would be difficult to change their attitude towards learning English. 

I said, I will describe and explain the passage to you. You’ll be able to understand.

I drew several matchstick figures on the board while describing a vegetable farm in Cameron Highlands, Pahang (a central state). All the while, I watched the sea of faces and my students’ reactions. I could guess who wanted to learn and who didn’t. Do I teach only those who desire knowledge? Do I have to force students to learn against their will? I decided I would cheerfully lead horses to the water. Could I move them to drink? Could I encourage them to learn? Or should I get more information from the other teachers before deciding how to proceed? Would my intentions be misinterpreted? Could I make a difference in the lives of my students? What can I do with those who refuse to