Embrace & Thrive: A Guided Self-Care Journal

By Denali Lord MS

Reconnect with your truest self through this guided reflection journal. Learn to conquer your biggest challenges, obstacles, and trauma with genuine love for yourself.

Violence and abuse can be debilitating aspects of a person's history. But now,

• Language: English
• Publisher: Palmetto Publishing
• Release date: Aug 27, 2024
• ISBN: 9798822946071

Denali Lord MS

Denali Lord is a Registered Dietitian, fitness professional, and mindset coach. With over two decades of experience in fitness and wellness, she has supported numerous individuals in managing health conditions and pursuing their best lives. While helping her clients is her personal passion, she also enjoys hiking, mountain biking, and spending time with her family. Denali holds multiple degrees in nutrition and dietetics from Auburn University. More information can be found at her website: www.denalilord.com.

Book preview

Introduction

In a world that often focuses on external achievements and comparisons, it is crucial that we cultivate self-love and develop a growth mindset. This book, Embrace & Thrive, invites you on a transformative journey of self-discovery, empowerment, and personal growth. By understanding the power of self-love and adopting a growth mindset, you can unlock your true potential, overcome challenges such as trauma, and create a fulfilling life.

I wrote this book for several reasons: First, to share my story of overcoming struggles through self-love and the growth mindset. Second, to inspire you to shift from a fixed mindset, which can be filled with self-loathing and self-doubt, to a growth mindset full of self-love and self-confidence. And third, to apply the growth mindset to help you work through and overcome a past or current trauma and reveal a happy and healthy life.

I am a registered dietitian and fitness professional with fifteen years of experience in dietetics and almost twenty years in fitness. I have worked with thousands of people from different backgrounds and with different personalities. While I have worked with a large number of people, it is important to note that I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical doctor.

Instead, this book is meant to serve as a guide for recommendations and strategies you can use to work through trauma and move forward with a happier and healthier life. It is not intended to diagnose or treat mental health conditions. If you struggle with a mental health condition or thoughts of self-harm, please contact 988 or a trusted, qualified medical professional.

This is a guided journal—please write all over this book. I have intentionally created blank space for you to share your thoughts and feelings as you work through this book. I encourage you to work on this a bit at a time. Change occurs best in small steps. Small steps create lasting changes. Feel free to revisit any section of the workbook and work through it again.

As a recovering perfectionist, I understand the need for things to be just right. Please understand that the journaling space provided in this book is safe to mess up. Yes, I said it’s safe to mess up. Go ahead—misspell a word (or a billion). Spill your favorite drink on the pages. It’s OK. I promise.

Why? Messing up means you are trying, and that’s not a mistake. The only mistake made is not trying at all. This means that if that frosting from your crème-filled donut lands on the page, it was a damn good donut! Let the page wear the remaining frosting like a badge of honor! As you will soon learn, our mistakes are just opportunities to keep learning about ourselves. I challenge you to start shifting your mindset from one of stressing about mistakes and imperfections to one of unveiling new opportunities for self-discovery and self-love.

If I can do it, you can do it! I believe in you and your ability to become the most kick-ass version of yourself. I am here to help every step of the way!

Because you deserve the best,

Denali

Chapter 1

My Story

Sharing a lot of intimate details with strangers is something that scares the absolute shit out of me. I’ll go ahead and apologize for my potty mouth (sorry, Mom).

Why am I scared of having this book out in the world? Quite frankly, there are a lot of reasons, but here’s the biggest one of all: my fixed mindset about judgment. One of my worst fears is being judged by others. You’re probably thinking, Why the hell would you write a book if you don’t want to be judged by others? I have asked myself that same question over and over.

Truth be told, there have been times when I have been so amped up about writing this book and other times when I’ve wanted to throw my laptop at the wall in frustration with nervousness. What if people don’t like it? What if people think I am a total wackadoodle? What-ifs filled my head. I got real with myself and asked, Why in the hell am I writing a book about my past and all my fears, doubts, and insecurities?

I wrote this book for the following reasons:

I want to overcome my fear of being judged because my self-love exceeds my fear.

I want to help others who are struggling with their self-worth and a fixed mindset to learn ways of developing a growth mindset and self-love.

I want to help those who have experienced a traumatic event move forward and avoid becoming victims of their trauma because of a negative mindset that influences their beliefs.

I’ve always wanted to write a book!

Now I sit back and take a second to reread my list of whys. I think to myself, OK, so maybe I am not a complete fucking wackadoodle. I do make fun of myself quite a bit, mostly because I can sometimes be too intense, so humor helps me process things and hopefully makes me less intense. Or just awkward. IDK. Ask my friends. OK, moving on—let’s just stick with awkward.

In all seriousness, I am a domestic violence survivor. I have struggled with abusive and toxic relationships for most of my life. I am a people pleaser and constantly work at not being one. Additionally, I have struggled with disordered eating habits for almost fifteen years.

The most toxic relationship I have had is with myself, although I have been in a relationship where my life was in imminent danger. I know what it is like to hate yourself, hate the one you are with, hate the circumstances that surround you, and feel completely helpless to make any kind of change. I know what it’s like to feel so powerless that you put up with things that would make your grandmother rise from her grave and give you a good whooping for making such bad decisions.

I am here to tell you that if I can make a change in how I view myself and cultivate a growth mindset and self-love, you can too.

Right now, life may seem impossible. You may be ready to give up. While I am not a medical doctor or a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist, I am here to give you techniques that you can use to develop the self-confidence and self-love you need to move forward and change your life. However, if you do have suicidal thoughts, you must seek medical help. Your well-being and future are important, and you deserve the very, very best that there is, my friend.

You might be thinking, Gee, Denali, that’s great you want to help, but what qualifies you to help? As mentioned earlier, I am not a medical doctor, psychologist, psychiatrist, or counselor, but I do have personal and professional experience with mental health issues. As a registered dietitian, certified health coach, and fitness professional for almost twenty years, I have worked with numerous individuals who struggle with body image disorders and disordered eating or eating disorders. Often, the underlying cause of a lot of these issues is trauma, low self-esteem, toxic relationships, a fixed mindset, and a lack of self-love or a relationship with oneself. I am definitely not claiming to know everything. I am a forever student in that I am always learning, whether it’s through reading a book or taking a continuing education course.

As mentioned earlier, self-love isn’t something that has always come naturally or easily for me. I’m very envious of the individuals who figured this shit out a long, long, long time ago. I know that for individuals to discover their self-worth and operate from a place of self-love, it requires experiences that force them to think about how they view themselves. With that being said, I’d like to share my story of toxic relationships and how it relates to our capacity for self-love and our mindset.

Parental Influence

A lot of our self-esteem and self-worth issues can arise during childhood. While I grew up in an upper-middle-class family, my life was far from perfect, and many of my self-esteem issues began developing during this time. I love my parents very much and know they did the best that they could with the knowledge and skills that they had at the time.

I do feel as though observing the way that my parents treated each other, as well as the way my grandfather would treat my grandmother or the way that my grandmother interacted with my mother, influenced my perception of myself and how I was to be treated in relationships.

I grew up in a household where conversations resulted in either yelling or giving the silent treatment. I often observed my mother’s and grandmother’s behavior after my dad or grandfather had finished talking to them.