Life Is What You Make It

By Michael Galea

Time and time ago, a tourist from a faraway country visited the famous Polish rabbi Hafez, who lived in a very simple dwelling. Basically, he only had just one room, with a bed in one corner, and a table and a bench on the opposite side. The tourist asked him, 'Rab

• Language: English
• Publisher: Michael Galea
• Release date: May 8, 2024
• ISBN: 9781805415404

Book preview

PREFACE

Life is what you make it! Indeed, there’s not much choice in that. Some prefer to make the most of the allotted time they have, while others are happy to spend their time doing nothing much, even though seemingly keeping busy, going nowhere…

As a youngster, I was both amused and curious when learning through stories, and also when sharing mine with others. This characteristic has lived on to the present. This is one reason I am presenting this book about life. It’s built on various stories, personal experiences, readings and anecdotes, shared with me or by me. Life is beautiful and there is always some hidden silver lining, if only we are aware, curious enough and willing to search for it.

Every project normally starts with a simple idea or dream. So did this. The idea first materialized through my YouTube channel ‘Psychology Minute with Michael Galea’ that has been running since the pandemic. Through that ongoing series, and thanks to the feedback I receive, I decided to put pen to paper and publish my thoughts in several books in Maltese. Now is the time to step up to yet another challenge, that of publishing in English. I do hope that this publication will be as helpful as the ones in my native language that preceded it.

I firmly believe that each one of us is full of great ideas and huge potential. The tragedy is that very often and for most of us, we fall back, find all kinds of excuses, and refrain from reaching our potential, whatever that may be. It is often the case that our objectives may not hit the right chord, at the right time, or within the timeframe we may give ourselves. But as with many things in life, patience and time could very well prove to be our best allies. Nothing worth doing comes easy.

1. Same cell, different perspective!

There is an intriguing story that occurred during World War II. In an Auschwitz concentration camp, two prisoners shared the same cell. They had the same conditions, same daily ration of food, and the same tasks. Their cell was deprived of everything. They only had a tiny window near the ceiling and a bunk bed. One prisoner spent most of his time gazing out of the window, despite it being so high. He dreamed of mountains, flowers, and the beauty and soothing rays of the sun. He lived his time there with the hope of reuniting with his dearest wife and two children, to hug and cherish them once again. Despite the gruelling reality around him, he took the initiative in most things he did.

The second prisoner led a miserable life: always angry, full of self-pity and hatred towards his enemy. He never looked towards that window, never entertained any ray of hope, but dwelt on his anger…

Time passed. The first prisoner lived on to tell his story to his loved ones. The second prisoner perished.

Life is what you make it!

2. Presence or presents?

Years ago, a friend shared with me a most challenging situation that’s relevant to us today. His father was a renowned medical consultant working in the UK at the time. He worked wonders with his patients, who adored him for good reason.

However, things at home were different. My friend told me his father used to shower him with all kinds of presents, even buying him an expensive car when he turned 18. Sadly, though, he never had quality time with his son. His father was too busy for him. Eventually, his father died.

My friend looked me in the eye and, with a broken but clear voice, said, ‘Unfortunately, my father gave me all the presents and gifts he deemed fit but never had five minutes of father-son time to share with me. None of his gifts can heal the pain of that grief.’

In life, there are no better presents than presence itself!

3. Is my life full of… junk?

We have all heard about the glass half full or half empty. It’s an old psychology lesson that has some bearing on life.

But is this really what life is all about? The real issue is not just whether my life is full or empty. It has much more to do with what exactly my life is full of. Let’s be frank: what’s the use of having a seemingly full life if it’s only filled with junk and toxicity? I am sure we all agree that an empty life is better than such a life, right? Think about that life that contains only problems and deficits – is that life worth it?

Rather than asking whether my life is full or empty, it would be more reasonable to ask if my life is full of quality, not quantity.

If I realise I need a quality-filled life, in order to embrace change I must be convinced that things at present are not functioning well. I will probably stay put if I am comfortable in my comfort zone.

Unless I am aware and convinced of what I need to change in life, I cannot make the changes I need.

4. Wise decisions

The story goes that once when Buddha was walking along with his disciples, they arrived at a huge tree and sat down to rest while he sent two of his disciples to bring him some water to drink. The disciples approached the river but noticed some women washing their clothes in the water. On the other side, some cows were drinking at the riverbank. The water was murky and not fit to drink. Seeing all this, the disciples returned to their master empty-handed and informed him of the problem. Their master calmly counselled them to rest under the tree and wait.

After an hour or so, the Buddha again sent his disciples to fetch some water. Having found that the water was now clear, as no one was using it, the disciples brought water to their Buddha.

The master said, ‘Such it is with life. When we are disturbed by any of our emotions or thoughts, it’s better to wait and calm down rather than act on the spur of the moment.’

5. The choices we make

Whether we like it or not, we are always faced with choices. Choices on what to eat, dress, where to go, whom to talk to, for how long, when, how, etc. The list simply never ends.

Choices between what looks good and what looks bad are normally straightforward. But other choices are harder and trickier, especially if the choices are between two or more good things. Such instances bring forth more pain. They are always challenging to call.

It is common to find individuals who are perplexed about what to do and which good to choose. Indeed, opting not to choose will not solve anything and is not the way to go, despite seeming the safer choice in the short term. Some people cannot bear the pain of discarding something perceived as good, even when they are gaining another good of equal value if