Embrace the Challenge: Turn the Negatives into Positives in Your Life

By Akwasi O. Ofori

In Embrace the Challenge you'll learn how to turn negatives in your life into positives. Rejection and other forms of opposition can impact anybody's life and lead them to question their abilities

• Language: English
• Publisher: BrazePoint Press
• Release date: May 6, 2024
• ISBN: 9798990410657

Akwasi O. Ofori

Author, pastor, church planter, and counselor, Akwasi Oppong Ofori is an ordained minister of the Ghana Baptist Convention, formerly the Lead Pastor at Solid Rock Baptist Church in Aurora Colorado, where he now lives. He also served as the first chairperson of the North American Baptist Association of the Ghana Baptist Convention. He is the author of other books including, Recovering Storytelling for Ghanaian Preaching, and I Will Lift Up My Cup. Originally trained as a teacher at the Wesley College of Education in Kumasi Ghana, he has a Diploma in Biblical Studies and a Bachelor of Theology (BTh) degrees from the Christian Service University College in Kumasi Ghana and the International Baptist Theological Seminary in Prague the Czech Republic respectively. Rev. Ofori also holds a Master of Divinity (M. Div.) from Denver Seminary in Colorado, USA, and a Master of Theology (Th.M.) from the Toronto School of Theology of the University of Toronto Canada. Rev. Ofori is married to Betty with whom he has three children.

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Embrace the Challenge © copyright 2024 by Akwasi O. Ofori. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form whatsoever, by photography or xerography or by any other means, by broadcast or transmission, by translation into any kind of language, nor by recording electronically or otherwise, without permission in writing from the author, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in critical articles or reviews.

Paperback ISBN: 979-8-9904106-4-0

Hardcover ISBN: 979-8-9904106-3-3

Ebook ISBN: 979-8-9904106-5-7

Book cover design by Jess LaGreca, Mayfly book design

Library of Congress Catalog Number: 2024907304

First Printing: 2024

Dedication

Dedicated to my wife Betty for her patience and longsuffering in our union

Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1: Life is Full of Challenges

Facing Challenges

Rejection, a Common Human Malaise

Maintain Your Tenacity

Their Tenacity Won Them Achievements

Don’t Lose Your Focus

Chapter 2: Discover Your Vision and Purpose in Life

No Vision, No Direction

The Essence of Having a Vision

Winners Develop Purposeful and Achievable Visions

How You Can Develop a Viable Vision

Learning from Trailblazers

Setting Your Vision in Stone

Never Allow the Dream to Fade

Chapter 3: Embrace Faith and Positivity

The Positive Lifestyle

Positivity as a Channel for Breakthroughs

Possible Pitfalls

Essential Keys to Consolidate Optimism

Use Positivity as an Engine for Growth

Chapter 4: Develop a Selfless and Charitable heart

A Compassion for Life and People

The Road Well Travelled

The Selfless Heroes of Today

Our Common Humanity Engenders Selflessness

Be Your Brother’s Keeper

Selflessness Demands Building Bridges

Achievers are Selfless

Live Your Life in Others

Grow Your Life by Sharing

Chapter 5: Let Others Win the Battle

Recipe for Rising to the Challenge

Give Everyone a Fair Hearing

Avoid Unnecessary Arguments

Let Your Interactions Be Positive

Lift Others Up

Keep Your Behavior in Check

Learn to Live with Others

Live Life to the Fullest

Let Others Win the Battle

Chapter 6: Stand Up and Be Counted

Playing the Blame Game

The Duality in the Human Psyche

Humans Susceptibility to Self-Sabotage

The Fickleness of Human Nature

Life’s Uneven Progression

The Weak Play the Blame Game

The Strong Take Responsibility

Navigating the Speed bumps

Stand Up and Be Counted

Chapter 7: Be a Team Player

The Power of Two

The Solitary Road of the Lone Ranger

Teamwork, The Answer to The Woes of Solitary Living

The Achievement Gap: Team Players and Isolationists

Teamwork the Key to Curtailing Obstacles

The Gains of Teamwork

Be a Team Player, Prioritize Teamwork

Chapter 8: Stand Up, Stand Out

Upfront and Visible

Making Oneself Visible

Stop, Look, Listen

Shaping Your Destiny

Scale Challenges and Stand Out

Standing for Others

Keeping Tabs on Yourself

Stand Up, Stand Out

Chapter 9: Communicate Your Ideas, Build Confidence in Others

Not Heard, Not Seen

The Power of Communication

The Skills for Effective Communication

Self-Confidence Vital for Effective Communication

The Nitty-Gritty of Communication

Actualize Your Ideas through Communication

Be Seen, Be Heard

Chapter 10: Make Integrity and Reliability Your Watchword

Along the Treacherous Road

The Quest for Integrity

The Basic Requirements

The Cost of Integrity

The Impact of Integrity on Relationships

The Roadblock to Integrity

Setting Standards for Yourself

Chapter 11: Help is Always Available

Living the Lonely Life

Taking Advantage of Our Different Gifting

Sharing Responsibility with Others

Be a Mentor to Others

Carving Your Own Image

When Should You Seek Help

Help is Always Available

Chapter 12: Embrace the Challenge

The Impact of Challenges

What to Do When Faced with Challenges

The Viable Way of facing Challenges

Sending the Right Vibes to People

You Can Reinvent Yourself

Effective and Ineffective Ways of Dealing with Challenges

Persevere Because Success Takes Effort

Hang On, You Are Not the Only Flawed Human

Bibliography

About the Author

Acknowledgments

Many thanks to my daughters Benefaa and Abena for their support in working on this book. I also want to extend my appreciation to Mr. Thomas Gyamfi-Mensah of Abundant Life Baptist Church, Bronx, New York, for all his suggestions for improvement. Also, to Mr. Alastair Tucker who helped with editing the manuscript. Last but in no way the least is Rev. Dr. Charles Owusu who has been encouraging and directing me on the next best step to get this and other books published.

Introduction

This book, Embrace the Challenge, presents a candid attempt to help those whose lives have been impacted by rejection and other forms of opposition, such that they are beginning to question their own abilities and strengths.

In my ministry, I have experienced career-defining opposition that impacted how effective I could be as a minister of the Gospel. With hindsight, I needed a book like Embrace the Challenge to help me navigate those difficulties. This book, therefore, comes as an answer for all those for whom rejection has become seismic and deep rooted.

The book identifies the endemic nature of rejection. It infers that rejection is a common human malaise which, although inescapable, has viable remedies to mitigate its worst impacts. It outlines certain aspects in a person’s life that are most liable to provoke opposition and sketches possible ways for victims to find ways to deal with those challenges.

While the book does not pin opposition to a singular cause, it identifies a lack of vision, purpose, and resolve as possibly great determinants. Taking a cue from that, the book infers that one needs a clear vision for life. It surmises that if this vision is purposefully crafted, it can positively impact any person’s life.

Another area of concern is that of attitude. Whilst a positive attitude can become a channel through which one can find breakthroughs in life, people who fail to take an upbeat approach to life deprive themselves of the energy to go on tackling obstacles.

Furthermore, it takes as a premise that one positive way of dealing with rejection is to develop a selfless and charitable heart. It deduces that whenever one is facing difficulties; it is helpful to externalize them. In other words, being able to forget one’s own troubles and help others is a way for them to find peace.

Likewise, the book claims that in life, one does not always have to be right. For that reason, it is good to let others win the battle instead of trying to argue with them unnecessarily. It presumes that living life to the fullest may mean giving everyone a fair hearing, avoiding unnecessary arguments, and always making one’s interactions positive.

Embrace the Challenge will challenge the reader to stand up and be counted. This will require that the reader shirks any habit that leans toward playing the blame game. It identifies that when people are unwilling to take responsibility for their actions and instead prefer to pass the buck, it hampers their ability to deal with rejection. Accordingly, it traces factors such as the duality in the human psyche, human susceptibility to self-sabotage, the fickleness of human nature or life’s uneven progression for that shortfall.

Additionally, it identifies two distinct characteristics of humans relating to whether one passes the buck. These two characteristics show whether a person is weak or strong. Whilst the weak person always blames others, the strong own up to their misdeed.

Similarly, the book explores another viable way to embrace the challenge by becoming a team player. It concludes that there is an achievement gap between team players and people who always go it alone. Therefore, it urges the reader to prioritize teamwork to enhance his or her chances in life.

Another method for getting out of trouble, according to Embrace the Challenge, is to always make oneself visible. Equally important for negotiating difficulties is learning to properly communicate one’s ideas. If one learns to properly communicate, they greatly enhance their chances in life.

Above all, the book urges the reader to make integrity uppermost in everything they do and they will be able to stem any form of rejection or opposition. To conclude, it is important that all these guidelines prescribed are not used apart from each other, but concurrently to yield the right results.

Chapter 1

Life is Full of Challenges

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.

Viktor Frankl

Facing Challenges

You are not a leader! The caller blurted out. This blunt message was further unsettling for an otherwise quiet and serene evening that had been disrupted by a blizzard. Such was the extent of the snowstorm that the daily routines of my family, and others in our community, were severely disrupted.

Though we had very little food supplies, Betty, my wife, had been able to put some ingredients together to make a sumptuous meal for dinner. As she always does, her culinary prowess had come into play on this night. It was when we were sitting at the dinner table, enjoying this illustrious meal, that I received an unsettling phone call.

In retrospect, the disturbing phone call was the least of my troubles. The real challenge I was facing at the time was at my local church where tensions were very high.

At that time, I was the chairperson of a church organization with members all over the USA, besides being the pastor of a local church in Colorado. This church organization was at its infancy stage and required a lot of work from the leadership as well as a lot of goodwill from members to get things going.

Not only did I have to deal with the volume of work at this new organization, but I also held a regular job in addition to the work at my local church. These tasks saddled me with an ample amount of work culminating in a lot of disaffection, particularly at my local church. The leadership at my church was indifferent to my plight and put a lot of pressure on me. Sometimes, their attacks became personal.

Eventually, unable to stomach further criticism, I resigned from both my church and the organization which I was leading. Years after those troubles, I decided to pursue more studies and work on my self-esteem which had been bruised by all the accusations and the spiteful finger-pointing I faced particularly from the church leadership.

When I left the church, I was visibly broken, and my confidence had taken a severe beating. I concluded that if that was what it took to be a minister of the gospel, then I did not want to have anything to do with it. Not only was I visibly stressed, but I was the loneliest person in the world. I felt that everybody except my family had rejected me. This development left me apoplectic and simply beside myself.

Rejection, a Common Human Malaise

As I came to understand, not only is rejection a common human malaise but is also certain. Every day we are confronted with our inadequacies and held back by our failures. We can be hindered by concerns for loved ones and our well-being. This problem has been worsened by the new trends in our world which put us on tentacles and saddled us with the fear of things getting skewed.

This strongly suggests the inevitability of rejection. Therefore, prepare yourself to deal with any such eventuality in the future so that you don’t fold up or become apathetic.

While there are people who, amid challenges, brace themselves up and refuse to give in to failure that stares them in the face, others are not able to do so. Some even give in to suicidal thoughts and commit the unthinkable.

Sometimes your problems may not simply make you feel rejected, but could also challenge your self-worth and abilities. It can leave you with a feeling that you lack what it takes to succeed at any venture.

Often, such occurrences happen when you take some time off to consider your fortunes or lack thereof in life. It could also happen outside of yourself through the radio or TV or a conversation you carried out with somebody. Or, in my personal case, from people who felt aggrieved for my supposed inability to carry out what should have been my responsibility.

When you reach such a point, all sorts of thoughts will fight to gain hold of your mind. Some of such thoughts may lead you to conjure pictures of yourself as a weakling, incapable of achieving anything worthwhile in life; or as a big failure and thereby resign to your fate.

It is easier to be hoodooed by such feelings of inadequacies which can come upon you without any warning, and particularly overtake the unwary. If you ever find yourself in such a situation, you must not be frightened so as to be turned into an imbecile, incapable of finding your rhythm in life. A situation which is akin to how I felt when I resigned from my leadership roles.

Unfortunately, if such a feeling is not checked, it can lead you to doubt not only your prospects in life but your very existence. In my case, I was able to bounce back because of the support I received from my wife. She encouraged me and made me feel that I was not inadequate for the task the Lord had called me. Years have passed since my near breakdown. But now I have been reenergized for the task of church leadership.

Challenges though, come in different forms and levels. They could come because you have not put your act together; or you lack the assurance and wherewithal to handle a given situation; or there is a lack of confidence in your own ability to start and complete projects. Last, but in no way the least, could be a draining disease that can change the course of your life.

It is imperative that you recognize that no individual on earth is safe from challenges. That, a person who has never faced any difficulties, might not be doing something right.

Therefore, you should recognize that all humans face challenges daily. Whilst some of these drawbacks are brought under control as soon as they reel their head, others, despite your best intentions, never go away.

Of all the different ways in which you may be tested, the one which you can least control is disease. Besides that, the other forms of challenges, no matter how they come, can still push you to breaking point.

The elder James says, We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what he says is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check (James 3:2 NIV). James’ thought was echoed by Albert Einstein when he said: Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.

Like these thoughts is a common saying of the Akans of Ghana about the person who goes to fetch water. In rural Ghana, many communities have no indoor plumbing, so they walk some distance to a creek or river to fetch water. Often, such water carriers fetch their water with either a bucket or water pot. Unfortunately, in some cases when the women are coming back from the creeks they can trip and fall.

So, in the case where they are carrying water pots, these pots usually break. This has given rise to the saying that whoever fetches water is the same person who breaks the water pot.

Here, it is evident that, whether it is the Ghanaian water carrier, the Apostle James, or Einstein’s claims, they all give weight to human frailty. As imperfect beings we are flawed in all our ways. For that reason, we will continue to make mistakes. By the time we succeed at one undertaking, we would have failed on several fronts.

Maintain Your Tenacity

Hence, what makes somebody successful is not the propensity to give up, but the resiliency in holding on even in the face of apparent failure.

Kenneth W. Thomas the co-developer of the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, a self-scoring exercise that aims at helping individuals discover their conflict handling styles, throws the ball into your court as an individual with the following claim: Make sure you’re not just waiting for someone else to fix things, or hoping that things will improve. . . . Figure out what’s going on and make a plan to improve things.¹

What this implies is that when you are confronted with challenging situations, you should find solutions to them yourself. Do not wait for somebody else to straighten your life for you. You are the captain of your ship, you are in-charge of your fate.

Many people who have gained recognition in their chosen professions or in life generally initially had to face seemingly unsolvable situations. Therefore, failing at a venture should not discourage you from moving on. What you need to do is to look for avenues and opportunities to lead you to aim for the extraordinary.

Refrain from simply settling for the ordinary and the routine. In your time of desperation and hopelessness, when you are most likely tempted to resign to your fate; allow yourself to feel the reassuring presence of God willing you on to see through your commitments. Surely, to avail yourself of the supernatural, you need to look in the right places to receive the benefit of trusting in the awesome power of God to guarantee your forward march.

Take a cue from sports which is most people’s pastime. Sometimes you watch your favorite team win a game. Other times they lose. When they lose, they just don’t give up and go their ways, instead, they go back to the drawing board and practice incessantly. Why do they do that? Because they want to win the next game. On the other hand, if a team fails to go back and instead sits down for the blame game, that team will eventually fold up.

Similarly, you cannot give up on life because of a mistake. As humans, we are error prone. For that reason, no blunders should be able to keep anyone down or cause them to give up. However, to say our lives are error-strewn does not preclude us from accepting our guilt in situations where we are at fault.

Knowing our tendency to make mistakes should give us a desire to effect change to rid our lives of slipups. However, you should note that change usually happens on a gradual scale. Though for some people, change is sudden, but that is not necessarily the norm.

Likewise, different people experience different outcomes in their quest